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Hello everyone!
My nick here is LizardMind, giving a nod to the idea that the lizard's mind is the most intuitive (see: instinctive) of all minds, and tapping into that being a powerful manifestation of divine will. Regardless! It's been many, many years since I've last practiced any sort of paganism, though many years before that I was a coven leader and initiated into the Druid religion, Wicca and an inducted Shaman. Something happened that I may have taken the wrong message from, and I stopped practicing. I stopped believing, or at least I thought I did.
A small thing happened recently that rethink the decision I made some 13 odd years ago. It was the strangest thing. I was at work. And I work outside, so it was cold. Bitter cold. I hate days like that, to be honest with you. I wanted nothing more than to go home and be with my family.
A week before, my friend had been to the place I work and his daughter built a line of rocks from the parking lot decoration rock. Days later, it was swept to the side into a pile under the curb by someone else. On my breaks, i would stack the stones into a pyramid. My thoughts were just on rain. "Man, I'd like rain." or "It's so cold, just rain already!"
Much to my dismay, there was no rain in the forecast.
I had kept "building" this little pyramid out of these rocks, setting stones and replacing them and as I finished, a large cloud crept over the mountain, and even over the peak. Within 20 minutes, it was raining. And I got to go home and warm up.
It reminded me of stories of fairies my dad use to tell me. Like if you build them a house and ask them for something, sometimes they'll give it to you. Well, I didn't know what to make of it. Whether it rained because weather permitted, or whether I brought the rain to me. Regardless, I left a few things of small value, what I could or had on me for the job, as a thank you (just in case) and went about my life as usual.
As I said before, though. It's making me think.
Did the way I interpret the message to "stop" wrong?
Do I still possess the will and spirit to be as powerful as I was then?
Do I even believe in any of this?
So, folks. I'm back here. Looking for answers and trying to make sense of it all. And I'm here to get everyone's thoughts, whims, fotm's and whatever else you can throw at me. Maybe you can help me answer these questions, and the myriad others flying through my head.
And to end things on a brighter note, my daughter is turning 1 today.
LizardMind, till you've got a few more posts, our anti-spam software will occasionally post munch. If you put something up and it disappears, let one of the staff know and we can rescue from the filter software.
Welcome to PF!
Life itself was a lightsaber in his hands; even in the face of treachery and death and hopes gone cold, he burned like a candle in the darkness. Like a star shining in the black eternity of space.
Yoda: Dark Rendezvous
"But those men who know anything at all about the Light also know that there is a fierceness to its power, like the bare sword of the law, or the white burning of the sun." Suddenly his voice sounded to Will very strong, and very Welsh. "At the very heart, that is. Other things, like humanity, and mercy, and charity, that most good men hold more precious than all else, they do not come first for the Light. Oh, sometimes they are there; often, indeed. But in the very long run the concern of you people is with the absolute good, ahead of all else..."
John Rowlands, The Grey King by Susan Cooper
"You come from the Lord Adam and the Lady Eve", said Aslan. "And that is both honour enough to erect the head of the poorest beggar, and shame enough to bow the shoulders of the greatest emperor on earth; be content."
Thanks everyone.
So I've decided to try to "begin" with the basics. I picked up Cunningham's Earth Air Fire and Water, Guide for the Solitairy Practitioner and the Spiral Dance to get me back rolling. These are books I began with when I practiced before, so I feel like they'll be a good, familiar spot to come back to.
My girlfriend is very supportive of my half-decision to look into it again. She said if I ever need to "practice" on anyone, like for seeing auras or healing, that she'd do it, so that's fantastic. I'm hoping, also, that what she said about my spiritual "strength" being similar is correct, even though I know I'll have to work to get my power back to where it was when I was a daily practitioner. If nothing else, I've become a stronger person since then just from what I've been through in the thirteen years since I've practiced last. It's just hard to believe that it's been dormant in me this long without weakening, which is a slightly depressing idea.
And don't think the fact that it's been 13 years has me oblivious, either.
So. I'm going to start small. Meditation. Grounding. Focus and concentration. Once I get those back down, I can begin with the groundwork and fundamentals, such as candle magic, divination and protection.
I am very eclectic, though, and I don't know how my current beliefs will mesh with those of Wicca, but we will see, I suppose. I am looking forward to those books coming in, as I feel lost as to where to begin again.
But they were doughnuts of darkness. Evil damned doughnuts, tainted by the spawn of darkness.... Which could obviously only be redeemed by passing through the fiery inferno of my digestive tract.
~Jim Butcher
But they were doughnuts of darkness. Evil damned doughnuts, tainted by the spawn of darkness.... Which could obviously only be redeemed by passing through the fiery inferno of my digestive tract.
~Jim Butcher
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