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Should Underage Marriage be Permitted?

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    #61
    Re: Should Underage Marriage be Permitted?

    Originally posted by SPhoenix View Post
    Maybe you should wait a few years before getting married, too, then. *chuckle*
    I should probably wait another 40 years before getting married, but that's besides the point...


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      #62
      Re: Should Underage Marriage be Permitted?

      Originally posted by volcaniclastic View Post
      I'm 26 and I still think this way.
      I don't but that has to do with certain time limits (measured in years) to be in a specific position that I want to be in.

      ...and yes I'm being vague as hell.
      Life itself was a lightsaber in his hands; even in the face of treachery and death and hopes gone cold, he burned like a candle in the darkness. Like a star shining in the black eternity of space.

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        #63
        Re: Should Underage Marriage be Permitted?

        I know I'm coming kind of late to the topic, but it's been a really fascinating debate and I wanted to read through it properly.

        I don't at all think anyone should get married younger than 16, which is the legal age here and the age of sexual consent. I think making it any older would be silly and here are my reasons: CHOICE.
        Every 16 year old is different, some are mature, some are immature, some are in-between but because of this difference I think it is incredibly important to allow a level of choice to the young. Also if 16 is the age of sexual consent it should also be the age of marriage as it seems silly to me to have a much more important choice, bringing a child into the world, younger than being allowed to marry.

        There is also something to be said for long engagements! I have friends who are my age (20-21) who have been engaged for years and years, but don't intend to get married yet. My partner and I have been together for 6 years and have not got engaged yet, but live together. It is a massive choice that everyone should have.
        Underage, no. But young? Yeah go on, why not.
        "You can never get a cup of tea large enough or a book long enough to suit me"- CS Lewis


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          #64
          Re: Should Underage Marriage be Permitted?

          I think it's also a different issue in places like the UK and Germany, where you can graduate from high school at 16 (or whatever it is) and start your job training then. I can't remember, but I think my British army ex even said once that guys join the military at that age? At any rate, I don't think that the line between being a teen and an adult is so cut and dry as it is in Canada. The age of sexual consent is 15 or 16 (can't remember) but other than that, you're legally very much a child until you're 18.

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            #65
            Re: Should Underage Marriage be Permitted?

            I thought the age of consent in Canada was fourteen, it was last time I checked.
            Trust is knowing someone or something well enough to have a good idea of their motivations and character, for good or for ill. People often say trust when they mean faith.

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              #66
              Re: Should Underage Marriage be Permitted?

              Originally posted by DanieMarie View Post
              I think it's also a different issue in places like the UK and Germany, where you can graduate from high school at 16 (or whatever it is) and start your job training then. I can't remember, but I think my British army ex even said once that guys join the military at that age? At any rate, I don't think that the line between being a teen and an adult is so cut and dry as it is in Canada. The age of sexual consent is 15 or 16 (can't remember) but other than that, you're legally very much a child until you're 18.
              You can join the army at 16, but cannot be deployed until you are 17. My partner did that, except he finished high school at 18 first and joined as a Territorial army soldier at 16.

              I kind of like out cut and dry system. I would still say 16 is awfully young for anything, but you can often have a level of responsibility that is quite high here. I know many people who have got houses, jobs, married and kids from 16-18, just because it's possible to do. If at 16 we were all still dubbed children non of that would happen and our level of responsibility would drop drastically.

              Also, for school we can leave at 16 and get a job, or go to college and we can also start university at 17 rather than 18 if we have the grades. But you can also be thrown out of school at 16. 16 is the age where you become responsible for your own future here.
              "You can never get a cup of tea large enough or a book long enough to suit me"- CS Lewis


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                #67
                Re: Should Underage Marriage be Permitted?

                Originally posted by FantasyWitch View Post
                Also, for school we can leave at 16 and get a job, or go to college and we can also start university at 17 rather than 18 if we have the grades. But you can also be thrown out of school at 16. 16 is the age where you become responsible for your own future here.
                Actually, in the US, depending on your state, you can leave school at 16 here and get a job (and a GED, unless you graduate early) (although good luck finding one in this economy), and you can attend college even while you are still in high school, and join the military at 17 (with parental consent) here in the US. And, depending on the state you live in, the age of consent ranges between 16 and 18--in 30 states its 16, an 8 its 17, and in 12 its 18, and a good number of those places where its 17 or 18 have exceptions/exemptions for teen relationships.
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                  #68
                  Re: Should Underage Marriage be Permitted?

                  Originally posted by thalassa View Post
                  And, depending on the state you live in, the age of consent ranges between 16 and 18--in 30 states its 16, an 8 its 17, and in 12 its 18, and a good number of those places where its 17 or 18 have exceptions/exemptions for teen relationships.
                  I didn't know that it was 16 in that many states. It's considered a fact that the age of consent in the states is 18, but apparently that's a misconception! Interesting! x
                  "You can never get a cup of tea large enough or a book long enough to suit me"- CS Lewis


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                    #69
                    Re: Should Underage Marriage be Permitted?

                    Why don't they make it a civil partnership (Like for gay marriage - UK) rather than an actual marriage? Like, it's similar, but my ethics class have branded it as a dilute marriage, it's not as prominent as marriage. I think it should be up to the people involved, and whether they're ready to take that step. I know parents always want the best for their kids, but it might not always be the worst solution.
                    "Otwarty świat; rany zamknięte."
                    - Open world; Wounds closed.

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                      #70
                      Re: Should Underage Marriage be Permitted?

                      I am going to admit I haven't read every post in full but I just wanted to throw this out there... My parents were both under 20 when they married; my mum was 17 and my dad was 19. They now have 4 grown up children, have been married 38 years and are still very happy. It can work out well for some, and I am not sure age is the deciding factor of whether a marriage lasts the distance or not.
                      http://thefeministpagan.blogspot.co.uk/

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                        #71
                        Re: Should Underage Marriage be Permitted?

                        Originally posted by FantasyWitch View Post
                        I didn't know that it was 16 in that many states. It's considered a fact that the age of consent in the states is 18, but apparently that's a misconception! Interesting! x
                        The U.S. is a young country, and for much of our history people lived pretty isolated lives, in some places. You'll find the youngest ages most acceptable in those communities with the longest history of isolation. Uh... "Hillbilly" comes to mind (no offense - I'm a Northern hillbilly).
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                          #72
                          Re: Should Underage Marriage be Permitted?

                          Also raises the question about a minor marrying someone not a minor, even by a year of two, for example 15 and 18, or someone older, 15 and 23?
                          "Otwarty świat; rany zamknięte."
                          - Open world; Wounds closed.

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                            #73
                            Re: Should Underage Marriage be Permitted?

                            I pose this counter-question, do you really think all adults who decide to get married decide that in a mature and logical mindset? My biological mother is well into her 50's and is "the other woman" in a relationship she has with another man (that she cheated with on my father). She swears up and down this new guy is going to leave his partner for her and they'll get married and live happily ever after. The majority of marriages I've seen happen (friends of friends thing) tend to circulate around "oops babies," financial needs, and short-lived infatuations. These are people in their 30's.

                            When it comes to me and my husband, the only real reason we ever went to court to make it all nice and legal was because we needed that piece of paper for legal purposes. But we were already "bonded" years prior to that oh-so-stressful ceremony and reception (I still kick myself for not eloping like I wanted to).

                            Based on that understanding... minors can get pregnant, have short-lived infatuations, and do many of the same mistakes that 'adults' do. The only real difference is their income level and the need to pay rent, medical insurance, utilities, food, etc...

                            I just feel the whole concept of involving the legal system into pair-bonding is unethical to begin with.

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                              #74
                              Re: Should Underage Marriage be Permitted?

                              Unethical? Why, and for whom? It's not unethical for the couple, as that would be ridiculous. The government is a bit different, but it's not really their fault.

                              Marriage is a contract, and has been for as long as marriage has been a thing. It's mostly about property and inheritance.

                              The people only got what they asked for. I don't see how it's unethical.

                              Originally posted by Ljubezen View Post
                              When it comes to me and my husband, the only real reason we ever went to court to make it all nice and legal was because we needed that piece of paper for legal purposes. But we were already "bonded" years prior to that oh-so-stressful ceremony and reception (I still kick myself for not eloping like I wanted to).
                              So, who's in the wrong here?
                              Trust is knowing someone or something well enough to have a good idea of their motivations and character, for good or for ill. People often say trust when they mean faith.

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                                #75
                                Re: Should Underage Marriage be Permitted?

                                It is mostly about property and inheritance. And I have no issues with the people entering into an agreement with each other. I find it unethical for a pair-bonding on an emotional level to be only recognized if signed and sealed by a government body. And yes, I know there are alternatives... in most cases.

                                Where did I ever say someone was in the wrong?

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