Why must I be an adult or have permission to be taught?

[Witcher]

Re: Why must I be an adult or have permission to be taught?

For British Traditional Wicca, which is initiatory, most covens require a person to be whatever is generally considered a "legal adult" in the country in question (so 18 in the United States, for example) but I've seen a lot of BTW covens that require people to be over 21. One of the reasons is the use of alcohol in ritual and the desire for everyone to be able to practice equally and not have another option or whatever.

But a big reason is that initiatory paths tend to require a lot of dedication, learning new thing, memorizing things, copying things, and long periods of waiting and patience. These groups want to make very sure that whoever wants to join is committed to the long haul. But I have noticed that these groups really appreciate people who have done a lot of personal growth work before approaching the group. They like for people to have read, studied, and worked independently before the path.

Another reason some initiatory paths require adults is that some practices are just not going to be socially acceptable for minors. Again, with BTW ritual nudity and flogging are not going to go over well with people when minors are involved and that's been mentioned on this thread a lot: safety. I mean, think of Santeria or some Vodou practitioners. Not a lot of people are going to be ok with minors witnessing or even participating in animal sacrifice.

And there is a lot to be said about having to wait for something. At least in my opinion it tests your mettle and really sets you up for something grand when the time rolls around and you find a great group or mentor. Having to wait means you've studied, you have a good idea of what you really want and you won't jump into a group or take a mentor just because that was the person who responded first to a Witchvox email or something. It really sets people up for success in my experience.

[Little Star]

Re: Why must I be an adult or have permission to be taught?

And those that don't respect that individual and their family, and the relationships therein, I wouldn't trust to teach me anyway.

This x100. I'm not Kemetic Orthodox, but I know they don't accept students who are minors or who derive more than half their money/shelter/food/etc. from someone else unless they have permission from that person's parent/guardian/whoever is paying the bills. (At least, that's how it was when I considered applying a few years back.) The reasoning is that it would be a greater offense to the Gods to disrespect the order of the household than to make the person wait until they can support themselves. I agree with this line of reasoning completely.

I understand that a lot of teenagers are in a stressful situation. They're genuinely drawn to pagan beliefs, and they have (often quite correct fears) that their parents will misconstrue these as evil. But as Ljubezen said, I don't think bringing in other people is going to reduce that tension.

[iris]

Re: Why must I be an adult or have permission to be taught?

The others will have to correct me here, I'm really just thinking out loud... but I would think that when joining a group, or seeking out a mentor of a certain path, there would be an expectation that you share their path, and are (at least) intending to stay on it... am I wrong? It seems to me that what you need to do, however frustrating it is, is find out what suits you. You don't need a teacher or group to ask questions if something confuses you; that's where this forum comes in to the picture. You can be quite sure that someone on here has answers, and is willing to discuss them ^^

And then just adding to what's already been said : if they disregard your age, don't. I have bad experiences with a wiccan coven who actually held a handfasting for my gullible 16 year old friend and her (they knew this) abusive boyfriend... That's a really bad group, but they're out there too... just use your common sense before doing anything.

[Tylluan Penry]

Re: Why must I be an adult or have permission to be taught?

A very wise, initiated Gardnerian HP once told me that everyone is basically a solitary. Even in a coven. It all comes down to us. Groups can help yes, but if the group dynamic is not good, then it can hinder some. Groups are not for everyone. Me, for instance. I am far too subversive to get on in a group, and a group would be certifiable if it thought I could.

[monsno_leedra]

Re: Why must I be an adult or have permission to be taught?

A very wise, initiated Gardnerian HP once told me that everyone is basically a solitary. Even in a coven. It all comes down to us. Groups can help yes, but if the group dynamic is not good, then it can hinder some. Groups are not for everyone. Me, for instance. I am far too subversive to get on in a group, and a group would be certifiable if it thought I could.

Just my own observations but I find those on a shamanic like pathway also tend to be very independent and frequently no more than a solitary in actual practice. Even in more folkish type settings they are part of yet very separate from the family group.

[Kindred]

Re: Why must I be an adult or have permission to be taught?

Groups are not for everyone. Me, for instance. I am far too subversive to get on in a group, and a group would be certifiable if it thought I could.

This.^ While I can understand how it would be beneficial to be in a group (like-minded folks, exchange of ideas, etc.) it's simply not for me. My path as a solitary has been a long and winding one and, while certainly not easy at times, it's what I'm most comfortable with. It's all about what works best for you...

[Tylluan Penry]

Re: Why must I be an adult or have permission to be taught?

I should probably also say here that I used to run an online group for spellwork (in another forum, long ago) and did sometimes get requests from young people to join. I had absolutely no problem with them joining provided they could get permission from their parents. Why? Well, because if their parents weren't pagans and didn't know about magic/spellwork/paganism, or worse, if they were opposed to it, then I wasn't going to do anything behind their backs. It was in a closed part of the forum, and I never once had anyone come back with any sort of permission. I was quite happy to speak to the parents, to discuss what we did if it put their minds at rest (and yes, I believe parents should be considered - their wishes are important while you're still legally a child.) I was happy to answer questions in the open part of the forum, but in the spellwork part it was closed simply because we could get together and work better that way. the dynamic was good and we stuck with it.

That said - Nobody stops anyone from learning. Good grief, I could probably learn about firearms and explosives on the internet if I had a mind too! But... if you want a teacher remember that you are entering into a relationship with the person and/or group. Not everyone is what they seem. You must always remember that. Just look at the damage done by Churches, Scout Groups etc., when nobody thought to question the type of people running them. Questioning things is good, but it's a skill learned mostly through experience.
And experience - as the saying goes - is something you get when you're looking for something else.
Best of luck in your studying and learning. Let us know how you get on!