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The usual fare of teen I-hate-my-parents whining

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    The usual fare of teen I-hate-my-parents whining

    So I've been wonderfully blessed with a couple of months of living in a college dorm- all the freedom of adults who don't care what you do, so long as you keep your grades up and pay your fees. But summer is here and I've been convinced to live with my parents. The problem is, I have this HUGE problem of not being able to filter my words, and I'm on meds that aren't fixing it. This is the number one thing the medication was supposed to fix. The nuclear weapon soaked in kerosene on top of this problem is that my dad gets upset easily, and it never goes well.

    Example: He suggested today that I look into marketing as a career, and I told him that I wouldn't want to do marketing or advertising, because I disagree with consumer culture. (I even hedged it by starting with: While I agree with the core of capitalism...) Nothing is open to debate, calm discussion, or even ignoring it and moving on. He doesn't even apologize for blowing up, except this one time when he grabbed my shirt and ripped the hood; It wasn't even my favorite or anything- it was a free one with weak stitching.

    I am typing this from my room, where I'm grounded because he's sick of my hippie-talk. I am honestly terrified of what would happen if he found out I'm a heathen, or even that I have an account on this site. I can't wait until the dorms open up again.

    (I really really needed to get that off my chest)

    #2
    Re: The usual fare of teen I-hate-my-parents whining

    I hope everything works out for you, stay faithful and carry on is the best I could say.

    This is a classic situation, that doesn't mean it sucks any less, but at least you're not alone.
    White and Red 'till I'm cold and dead.
    sigpic
    In Days of yore,
    From Britain's shore
    Wolfe the dauntless hero came
    And planted firm Britannia's flag
    On Canada's fair domain.
    Here may it wave,
    Our boast, our pride
    And joined in love together,
    The thistle, shamrock, rose entwined,
    The Maple Leaf Forever.

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      #3
      Re: The usual fare of teen I-hate-my-parents whining

      Haha I know it's a commong thing. Isn't that the plot of every teen movie?
      "I hate my parents, you guys suck!"
      "Well maybe if you'd act like an adult"

      "Hey maybe you were right about this thing"
      "You're growing up and I should trust you more"

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        #4
        Re: The usual fare of teen I-hate-my-parents whining

        Originally posted by Chessa View Post
        "Hey maybe you were right about this thing"
        "You're growing up and I should trust you more"
        Lol if only real life were so easy eh.
        White and Red 'till I'm cold and dead.
        sigpic
        In Days of yore,
        From Britain's shore
        Wolfe the dauntless hero came
        And planted firm Britannia's flag
        On Canada's fair domain.
        Here may it wave,
        Our boast, our pride
        And joined in love together,
        The thistle, shamrock, rose entwined,
        The Maple Leaf Forever.

        Comment


          #5
          Re: The usual fare of teen I-hate-my-parents whining

          The best I can tell you is to stay out of the house as much as possible...not sure if you have a summer job, but if its not too late, try to find one. Or an internship (really you want to get one or two of these to increase your marketability anyhow in terms of a job when you get out of college). My parents didnt care about the religion thing, but I had other incentives for not being at home. Next summer, consider working at a sleep away summer camp. Summer jobs (particularly camps and and seasonal programs) and internships generally require you to apply in March and April---I spent 3 summers as a camp counselor/aquatic director/wildreness skills instructor at a girl scout camp. Another friend of mine spent her summers working at a state park doing trail work and lived in cabins there. It probably too late for this summer (plus you might already have a job), but consider volunteering in your free time...the local ymca (which might even have last minute jobs if you are qualified to teach swimming lessons or aerobics, etc), a nursing home, a vet clinic or animal shelter, the red cross...

          Also...next time, try not be so quick to judge----nonprofits love marketing and pr majors. I can't tell you how many more of those jobs there are than science jobs with environmental groups (and I'm talking hands on local restoration organizations not lobbying groups). Practice saying something like "hey, I'm not sure thats what I'm looking for, but I'll check it out" or even just "I'll look into it"......I know (from personal experience) its not easy, but the noncommital implied agreement that can be easily changed is a good skill to have, not just for maintaining peaceful relations with your parents, but in life.
          Wonderful Life: The Burgess Shale and the Nature of HistoryPagan Devotionals, because the wind and the rain is our Bible
          sigpic

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            #6
            Re: The usual fare of teen I-hate-my-parents whining

            Oh man, that sucks. If it means anything, what you're going through is TOTALLY normal. Living on your own in college and then spending summers with your parents SUCKS. I can't tell you how many fights I got in with my parents when I was in college, over everything from life choices and values to not checking in when I stayed out late (I got out of the habit when I was on my own). My friends had just as hard a time. All I can say is that it'll pass. One day, you'll graduate and be on your own for good. It'll probably change your relationship with your parents for the better.

            And, if it means anything, I hate consumer culture and I majored in marketing. I work for myself and for me it has been a pretty useful skill (I chose the major to help market myself as a self-employed person in the first place). There are a wide variety of jobs related to marketing. Advertising is what most people think of when it comes to the field, but those jobs are actually few and far between these days (the entire nature of the industry has changed). Many marketing jobs lead into sales or online marketing, both of which are hell if you hate sales jobs or consumer culture (plus, online marketing is dull as rocks....I don't care how much people claim that community management or social media management are "fun"), but not all careers have to go in that direction. I think Thal's recommendation of going for a non-profit job is a good one. Marketing is a pretty desirable skill and non-profit organizations have to promote themselves too.

            Anyway, you should choose your own major and career path. Your dad doesn't have to do the job, so it's not his choice. Just remember that whatever you choose, you should have an end goal in mind. You'll have to work at some point after you graduate.

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              #7
              Re: The usual fare of teen I-hate-my-parents whining

              I can't help with the parent thing - it is outside of my experience.

              But maybe you could look into entrepreneurship?

              That will teach you how to start and run a business of your own, which you could then run according to your personal ethics.

              Honestly, self-employment is going to be the biggest growth industry in the foreseeable future, methinks (I encouraged my daughter to minor in entrepreneurship for this reason), but most self-employment attempts fail when the person does not have business knowledge.
              Every moment of a life is a horrible tragedy, a slapstick comedy, dark nihilism, golden illumination, or nothing at all; depending on how we write the story we tell ourselves.

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                #8
                Re: The usual fare of teen I-hate-my-parents whining

                Originally posted by Chessa View Post

                "Hey maybe you were right about this thing"
                "You're growing up and I should trust you more"
                Problem is, parents don't want you to fail or to struggle. They've seen themselves, their peers, their peer's kids, etc struggle and fail. Their goal is for you to be successful. And TBH, their measure of success is usually based on their experiences. The world changes though, and what people consider "successful" changes. Sometimes its hard for them to remember that, and depending on the age gap or their background or any number of other factors, that gulf can be quite wide and even unbridgable.

                If you are dependent on your family (and I assume you are, else you'd not be living at home in the summer--if you aren't, I apologize) for your education, sorry...but legally an adult or not, you do answer to them if you want them to continue to help fund your education. Part of that (and this is one of those things that is much easier in hindsight) means that you smile, nod, keep your mouth shut, and suck it up. I joined the military for several reasons, one of them being that I needed a way to pay for college, and part of that came from my dad (who had been helping me fill the gaps between my job, workstudy, and student loans and my tuition) who cut me off because they (really step-mom) didn't approve of my major or plans (because sometimes parents think you need to struggle to grow up and don't want to fund what they see as failure...its paradoxical, I know)
                Wonderful Life: The Burgess Shale and the Nature of HistoryPagan Devotionals, because the wind and the rain is our Bible
                sigpic

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                  #9
                  Re: The usual fare of teen I-hate-my-parents whining

                  Originally posted by thalassa View Post
                  Problem is, parents don't want you to fail or to struggle. They've seen themselves, their peers, their peer's kids, etc struggle and fail. Their goal is for you to be successful. And TBH, their measure of success is usually based on their experiences. The world changes though, and what people consider "successful" changes. Sometimes its hard for them to remember that, and depending on the age gap or their background or any number of other factors, that gulf can be quite wide and even unbridgable.
                  Yep, this.

                  To be honest, a lot of parents push their kids into business careers, but although those aren't bad majors by any means, they're not exactly as marketable as most older people think. Of all my friends, the most gainfully employed are engineers, computer programmers, and tech people. Those friends don't even have to LOOK for jobs a lot of the time. There are also so many different jobs in those fields aside from commercial work. I have friends employed in the public sector and who work for research institutes, for example. If you don't fancy a corporate job and like tech, I can definitely recommend computer programming or engineering.

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                    #10
                    Re: The usual fare of teen I-hate-my-parents whining

                    My parents were actually pushing science instead of business when I was in high school. Now that I've got my associate's degree in science (which I paid for by myself), they've decided that everything they've told me for the last two years is wrong. Community college is good, the college they practically applied to in my name is the wrong choice, and I've got the wrong major because there's not much money in it. It's just frustrating that they try to micromanage my education (again, the one I'm paying for) and they're not even consistent about it. But mostly I just can't stand living in the same zip code as my dad. I'm mild-mannered, and I get along with just about everyone, but most days he's impossible. I've started looking for roomates to move in with, so there's that...

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                      #11
                      Re: The usual fare of teen I-hate-my-parents whining

                      I'm convinced parents turn into assholes as a tool to get kids out of the house.
                      Satan is my spirit animal

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