Hai, everyone, well uhhm, here goes:
I am Shinjin (I like chinese, japanese sounding names), I am 23 years of age, male, that lives in The Netherlands.
I am currently not tied to a belief system of any sorts, as it's hard to explain my situation, but I will try anyways;
When I was 14 - 15, I once read a book that was a loosely based children's book on Wicca. It explained about elements, your inner castle, how to empower yourself with confidence, and about the seasons.
This sparked my interest, and it soon lead me to the internet, and several other books. I read those, it sounded cool, it was better than anything I read before. I could do magick, and attune myself with an god and goddess. I was never a believer in anything, and this sparked my interest.
So I dabbled in it, read a lot of books, and in the meantime my home situation deteriorated. Constant problems, and household violence. I ended up going into several other houses throughout the years, to be my own person, without those problems.
I prayed to the god and goddess for comfort at times, there wasn't much to do, had minimal internet access. I am now 23 and I left those times behind me, the interest left me for a bit, and I met some rough times still...
I have concluded it's hard for me to believe, even though I do want to believe there's more. I think this is a fundamental problem, since I do sometimes pray for signs, or guidance. Sometimes I see signs I think, but then I pray and get no confirmation.
I am now wandering, not liking life to much, but not hating it either. Got a lovely fiance, and she has a kid which I've been there for since before he was born. I love him as my own, my little hump of loving.
I just miss something.
Anyways, this is me right now, sorry for the long post.
Thanks for reading.
Blessed Be.
I am Shinjin (I like chinese, japanese sounding names), I am 23 years of age, male, that lives in The Netherlands.
I am currently not tied to a belief system of any sorts, as it's hard to explain my situation, but I will try anyways;
When I was 14 - 15, I once read a book that was a loosely based children's book on Wicca. It explained about elements, your inner castle, how to empower yourself with confidence, and about the seasons.
This sparked my interest, and it soon lead me to the internet, and several other books. I read those, it sounded cool, it was better than anything I read before. I could do magick, and attune myself with an god and goddess. I was never a believer in anything, and this sparked my interest.
So I dabbled in it, read a lot of books, and in the meantime my home situation deteriorated. Constant problems, and household violence. I ended up going into several other houses throughout the years, to be my own person, without those problems.
I prayed to the god and goddess for comfort at times, there wasn't much to do, had minimal internet access. I am now 23 and I left those times behind me, the interest left me for a bit, and I met some rough times still...
I have concluded it's hard for me to believe, even though I do want to believe there's more. I think this is a fundamental problem, since I do sometimes pray for signs, or guidance. Sometimes I see signs I think, but then I pray and get no confirmation.
I am now wandering, not liking life to much, but not hating it either. Got a lovely fiance, and she has a kid which I've been there for since before he was born. I love him as my own, my little hump of loving.
I just miss something.
Anyways, this is me right now, sorry for the long post.
Thanks for reading.
Blessed Be.
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