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Trying to make someone stand her ground

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  • #16
    My mother is very much the kind of person that once we (her children) were of age, we had two options, in order to live under her roof. Go to school (college) or get a job and pay rent to her. Then there's moving out. I had a job since I started my senior year of high school. I "took off" 3 months when we moved from Michigan to Washington and she flipped out at me for not having a job or going to school. I started both in June of that year. A year later, I moved out. I've NEVER borrowed money from my parents. In fact, I've lent money to my mom, lol.

    Not everyone has the same parent teachings or ambitions to do things in life. If she always has an excuse to not do something, there's likely an underlying issue. May not be laziness. Could be anxiety or depression. Health issues. Regardless, she's going to have a very rude awakening one day if she doesn't stop up and get her life in order and it's not your job to make her "grow up" ( for a lack of a better term) and I know you're aware of that. It's nice that you're showing the compassion to help her but you can only do so much and the bottom line is, it's HER life.
    “Experience is what you get when you didn't get what you wanted. And experience is often the most valuable thing you have to offer.”
    ― Randy Pausch, The Last Lecture
    Sneak Attack
    Avatar picture by the wonderful and talented TJSGrimm.

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    • #17
      Re: Trying to make someone stand her ground

      Thank you.
      "Fair means that everybody gets what they need. And the only way to get that is to make it happen yourself."



      Since I adore cats, I might write something strange or unusual in my comment.Cats are awesome!!! ^_^

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      • #18
        Re: Trying to make someone stand her ground

        I must admit depression also plays a part in her life and is caused by a specific event in her religion. Unfortunately she's not as strong psychologically and it affects her more.
        "Fair means that everybody gets what they need. And the only way to get that is to make it happen yourself."



        Since I adore cats, I might write something strange or unusual in my comment.Cats are awesome!!! ^_^

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        • #19
          Re: Trying to make someone stand her ground

          Gleb as many have said it is not your responsibility. Still it just shows how sweet and caring you are.

          I saw someone her talking about anxiety. But she does sounds a bit similar to some of my friends dealing with depression.

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          • #20
            Re: Trying to make someone stand her ground

            Originally posted by MaskedOne View Post
            Don't.

            Literally, don't. You're an ocean away and about to be tied up several years with the Israeli military. You can encourage her but this is not a situation that you have any real power to influence and trying to take it up as a cause is only gonna give you heartache. She has to make her own way. You can support and advise but more than that isn't available to you at this point.
            Agreeing with MO on this one. This is drama you don't need. It sounds like she likes her life the way it is.

            - - - Updated - - -

            Originally posted by Gleb View Post
            Thal - I know it's not my responsibility. Of course, you and anu are right here and she has to do things herself, when it comes to this. It's just a bit hard for me to sit back, knowing she won't do anything with her life and waste precious time and possibly some good years of her life instead of using them somehow.

            We had an agreement, that once I get my degree (which is going to be after a good long while) both of us move into one apartment. Now I realize it's not gonna happen and I'll have to do things the old way - myself. But that doesn't bother me. The only thing that does is that she wastes her time. But like all of you said - I should back off and let her do it herself.
            Oh I've just seen this, sorry. Well done. Except maybe if you keep up your end, she may keep her part of the agreement. Sorry to drag this up. I really should check dates before posting again.

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            • #21
              Re: Trying to make someone stand her ground

              Originally posted by Azvanna View Post
              Agreeing with MO on this one. This is drama you don't need. It sounds like she likes her life the way it is.

              - - - Updated - - -



              Oh I've just seen this, sorry. Well done. Except maybe if you keep up your end, she may keep her part of the agreement. Sorry to drag this up. I really should check dates before posting again.
              Don't worry about the dates, Az.

              As many of you told me - I left this alone and decided to let her parents do their job and I try to encourage her to do different things herself.
              "Fair means that everybody gets what they need. And the only way to get that is to make it happen yourself."



              Since I adore cats, I might write something strange or unusual in my comment.Cats are awesome!!! ^_^

              Comment

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