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Thread: Getting in touch with your patron / matron Gods

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    Jr. Member Capricorny's Avatar
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    Getting in touch with your patron / matron Gods

    Who are they? And how did they get in touch with you or you with them?

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    sea witch thalassa's Avatar
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    Re: Getting in touch with your patron / matron Gods

    I don't have patron deities. I don't want them. I do have deities that I work with more often or more intently, but they aren't a patron deity.

    This will likely come off dismissive, flippant, and maybe even offensive, but I'm going to put it this way anyhow...IMO: Patronage is based on the idea of a tit for tat relationship--in this case, I give you worship and act as your physical hands here on Earth and you provide me with guidance and the occasional bit of blessing bribery...if not, I'll zap ya. If I had wanted that, I would have stayed a Christian. I don't want a mommy or daddy god. The views of others will vary based on their understanding and the goals of their religious experience, and even while I personally consider the experience as lousy for me, doesn't mean that its lousy for them. Many a person is helped by having a patron deity.

    But for me, while I'm no recon, I just can't get into it--patronage isn't a well borne out concept in historical Paganisms; yes, the gods had their favorites and people had their favorite gods undoubtedly, but unless one was specifically a priest in a temple dedicated to a particular god, the household/family/village/tribe/etc (the exact unit depends on the culture here) was protected by not pissing off any particular god too much (and atoning the heck out of it if you did)...god monogamy (henotheism) just wasn't considered good sense. Nor does it address what I want to get out of religion. Right actions, not right belief--praxis, not doxa (because I like the LAtin).

    With that being said, humanity changes, cultures evolve, religions and views about deities change. Contemporary Paganism has been incredibly influenced by the New Age movement. People want guardian angel gods, and that is what most Pagan literature (books, blogs, websites, etc) promote, and what most Pagans consider the norm, and therefore what most Pagans think they need to do (and often end up doing) to be properly Pagan. There are entire traditions (ADF Druidry, for one) that promote finding patron gods. And that is fine, if it is what you want.

    If you are looking for a patron god or goddess* there are two ways that most people do it---the wait and see method, and the go and find method. For the wait and see method, you wait and see for what you feel/see/hear/dream/etc. You might have a ritual in which you say "hey, I'm looking for a patron deity..." (imo, dumb idea...its a bit like shouting "hey, I'm drunk and have $1000 cash on this street corner in the middle of the night"), or maybe you do some meditating, etc... The go and find method (IMO, the better choice) works something like this: research a bit about the mythology and find the deities that interest you, have a ritual or guided meditation dedicated to that deity and make an offering, and wait. Its sort of like a first date (offering=flowers)...see if they reciprocate interest. If so, see where it goes. If it works out, you can make it formal.

    Not to long ago I wrote a blog post that goes into a bit more detail, plus you can totally google "connecting with deity" and find a number of pages of information to check out! Also, just from some of the questions, you've been asking in general, I really recommend reading To Walk A Pagan Path by Alaric Albertsson for a good overview of how to get started. If you do decide that you are interested in the Greek deities (it seemed like you were leaning that way in another thread), there are some other great resources that I can recommend too!


    *Please excuse the brief rant (this isn't meant to be aimed at you, OP, its lingo that is so pervasively abused that you are not alone in being led astray!)...a matron is an older married woman, a patron is a protector/provider/advocate. Yes, they both originate from the Latin mater and pater (mother and father), but they've been a diverged concept with new definitions for almost 800 years. The correct phrasing should be patron and patroness (if one insists on making it gender specific, though "patron" is still grammatically correct for both). I get that language changes over time, I'm cool with that, but when there's already a word for it...I have an issue with making a new and incorrect one up.
    “You have never answered but you did not need to. If I stand at the ocean I can hear you with your thousand voices. Sometimes you shout, hilarious laughter that taunts all questions. Other nights you are silent as death, a mirror in which the stars show themselves. Then I think you want to tell me something, but you never do. Of course I know I have written letters to no-one. But what if I find a trident tomorrow?" ~~Letters to Poseidon, Cees Nooteboom

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    Sr. Member Louisvillian's Avatar
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    Re: Getting in touch with your patron / matron Gods

    In my understanding, the gods are usually patrons of broad concepts rather than individuals. The exception being in mysticism, where a personal relationship to and with deity is sought. Thing is, Wicca and Wiccanate pagan developed as mystery traditions; so when their ideas became 'mainstream' in broader Neopaganism, that model became seen as the norm.

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    Re: Getting in touch with your patron / matron Gods

    As so often, Thalassa hits the nail on the head.

    There are some Pagan traditions where you have a family God (ancient Babylonian and modern Hindu) and some where you have a personal God (Hinduism) but it's not widespread. In Classical Athens, the family worshiped Hestia, Zeus Ktesios, Zeus Herkeios, Apollo Patroos, Hermes, and Hekate in the home. My domestic altar has the more Hellenistic Hestia, Hekate, Asklepios, and Tyche. I worship other Gods at their festivals and if I need their help (like Athena Britannia for a good result in the election). I don't have a patron.

    As for matrons,
    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Carry_..._On_Matron.jpg

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    Sr. Member CrystalJackal's Avatar
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    Re: Getting in touch with your patron / matron Gods

    Of course Thalassa is spot on, as always.You don't "have" to have a patron god and matron goddess. I do, but that's because it's the path that I walk, and it is my own.

    If you do want to have a patron god and matron goddess, I agree with the "go and find" being the better method. Dreams can often be interpreted incorrectly, and if you're desperate for a sign, you might take anything as one, or even conjure them up on your own.

    Also, if you don't feel a connection the first time, don't give up if it's a god you truly want to have a relationship with. Wait, and try again. Patience is key
    Love me for who I am, not for who you want me to be.

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    Silver Member monsno_leedra's Avatar
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    Re: Getting in touch with your patron / matron Gods

    Being politically correct the correct usage for a woman who inspires, guides or gives support would be a patroness. I personally have patron gods and patroness goddesses not a matron goddess as no such thing truly exists as part of the usage of the word matron. To me that is more of the PC police getting something else wrong when patron is applicable to both male and female beings who inspire, guide and / or gives support to someone.

    That said one doesn't specifically have to have a patron / patroness god / goddess to be pagan or have a fulfilling spiritual / religious belief and practice.
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    Live and learn anunitu's Avatar
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    Re: Getting in touch with your patron / matron Gods

    Thal be the people whisperer,she makes sense when all sense is gone..and people just go plop...and stop speaking and do the chicken dance...
    https://youtu.be/Hb9FwlubyIQ
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    Sr. Member CrystalJackal's Avatar
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    Re: Getting in touch with your patron / matron Gods

    Quote Originally Posted by anunitu View Post
    Thal be the people whisperer,she makes sense when all sense is gone..and people just go plop...and stop speaking and do the chicken dance...
    https://youtu.be/Hb9FwlubyIQ
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    Live and learn anunitu's Avatar
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    Re: Getting in touch with your patron / matron Gods

    I am home,and as far as drunk..I wish I had the energy to get drunk..we old guys just remember the old days when the drunk was an epic adventure that hopefully did not end in a jail cell..
    MAGIC is MAGIC,black OR white or even blood RED

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    NO TERF EVER WE belong Too.
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    Copper Member Thorbjorn's Avatar
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    Re: Getting in touch with your patron / matron Gods

    Quote Originally Posted by Louisvillian View Post
    In my understanding, the gods are usually patrons of broad concepts rather than individuals.
    That's also what I understand a patron/patroness to be. There are also patrons of cities, towns, etc. They are protectors or benefactors. Sicily claims St. Joseph as its patron saint. During a famine the Sicilians prayed to St. Joseph for help, which he did. That's why every year there is the Feast of San Giuseppe in Sicily and in the Sicilian diaspora. That's probably the best illustration of my understanding of patron. As for me, I used the word patron elsewhere once and got my tongue stomped on for sounding like a special snowflake with a patron. A better word and idea is fulltrui (or fulltrua for a goddess). Fulltrui/a means "completely trusted". It's a god/dess one has utmost faith in, as a friend, protector/protectress.
    śivāya vishnu rūpaya śivaḥ rūpaya vishnave
    śivasya hridayam viṣṇur viṣṇoscha hridayam śivaḥ


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