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Thread: Families that don't agree

  1. #1
    Jr. Member Aster Thrakena's Avatar
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    Families that don't agree

    First of all, I apologize if there is already a thread based on this particular topic, but I just had to ask...

    Did you grow up with your parents teaching you, or did you learn yourself? Did they accept your pagan views?

    I have a pretty open father but...my mom has basically all up and left. My dad doesn't know the extent of my beliefs, but he knows enough that he shows me news on witch stuff or pagan stuff. My fiancé also knows and he is pretty understanding. Just, how did you tell your family/significant other. What were the results? Should you keep it hidden forever? Should you say it up front? Should you wait awhile? My deed is already done, but I am curious of other stories. Especially from those who found out that their path wasn't for them when they were in the high school age.

    For those that had adverse reactions, are you better now?

    Sorry...lots of questions

  2. #2
    Sr. Member faye_cat's Avatar
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    Re: Families that don't agree

    I'm mainly self taught everything, but lucky enough to have people I can discuss this with in my life.

    My parents...I don't remember extensive religious lessons. We said "Grace" at thanksgiving, went to Catholic Mass every couple of Christmases. I went to church with a few friends here and there growing up, but we didn't attend a church. I got really into Church of Christ sophomore-senior year of high school, but the most involved I ever got was twice a week services with the occasional youth group outing.

    My parents were extremely worried about me even studying other religions, and when they found out I was friends with pagans, they were extremely upset, even accused me of joining a cult (there were other arguments at the time that maybe factored in, but still extreme overreaction). I've only officially begun to consider myself pagan, instead of agnostic with pagan tendencies, etc. I highly doubt I will tell any of my parents, siblings, cousins, etc ever. We don't get along about most stuff, I'm not opening myself up to even more judgements and attacks. I still considered myself Christian at the time frame and still got nasty lectures and all that jazz, I'm not dealing with that level of vitriol again. I'll continue to talk in the abstract and educate people if they want, but I won't answer questions about myself.

    I started dating my now husband back when I first started hanging out with "that pagan cult", so he's pretty understanding . Three of my best friends couldn't be different in terms of religion, one is uber Christian, one is eclectic pagan, and one is Buddhist. I'm lucky that if I wanted to discuss it with any of them, they would listen and wouldn't be upset, and it would be like talking about any other aspect of life. For other of my friends, I may or may not ever "let it show". For me, I've come to realize that my spirituality is a deeply personal thing and I'll discuss it, but not necessarily bring it up.

  3. #3
    Supporter kalynraye's Avatar
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    Re: Families that don't agree

    There probably is a thread around here somewhere but its no big deal. As for myself, my mother is also pagan but did not teach me herself. She provided me with the tools I needed and introduced me to my first mentor but she herself did not do any teaching.

    I converted to paganism on my 16th birthday which on the 29th of next month with be 13 years ago. I had a mentor for my early years as a pagan and to this day I value everything he taught me. At 18 I joined a coven and worked with them for 2 years until I made the decision to leave. Since then I have been a solitary kitchen witch who follows a celtic pantheon. I would like to find a coven again but I don't have normal hours which tend to make it difficult for me.
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    Jr. Member Aster Thrakena's Avatar
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    Re: Families that don't agree

    Faye_cat: thank you so much for putting your two cents in! I enjoyed reading it! I am sorry that you were accused of so many things, but it seemed you came out on top! <3

    Kalynraye:I have always wanted to join a coven. I was fascinated with witchcraft and have many books on the subject. I have my own altar with magickal items inside. I just never really learned what to do or what it feels like. How was it in a coven?

  5. #5
    Head Above Water habbalah's Avatar
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    Re: Families that don't agree

    My mother is Christian. My dad is, I think, an atheist, but I'm not sure. He used to say he was, but now he gets weird when I say I don't go to church and haven't in over fifteen years.

    I'm mostly self-taught. I wandered around spiritually for about ten years and researched different religions and belief systems. I'm still slowly forming my path.

    My mom understands that I'm not Christian and never will be again, and is mostly okay with it. She does, however, question some parts of it because she's afraid I'm talking to evil beings and just don't know it. I try to explain things that I believe and do, but I'm not sure how much I've allayed her fears. My dad and I just don't really have deep conversations. Most of my friends know, to some degree or another, and basically accept it. If I have a significant other, they would HAVE to accept it, or we wouldn't be together. I'm not going to hide part of myself from someone I potentially will spent the rest of my life with.
    “You must be shapeless, formless, like water. When you pour water in a cup, it becomes the cup. When you pour water in a bottle, it becomes the bottle. When you pour water in a teapot, it becomes the teapot. Water can drip and it can crash. Become like water my friend.” -- Bruce Lee

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  6. #6

    Re: Families that don't agree

    You should wait awhile for good time and talk with them, they love you and just want give to you good things.

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    Re: Families that don't agree

    My mother, a Roman Catholic, was completely filled with joy when I became a priest. It didn't seem to matter that I was a pagan priest, she was just happy that one of her boys had become a priest.
    She could see that it was good for me and that I had become a better person so that was enough. Let people get to know you as a person and then you can ease them into the concept that your faith is different.

    "Pagan" means different things to different people and the word "witch" seems to be "of the devil" in most peoples minds.

  8. #8
    Member Cynica the Ageless's Avatar
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    Re: Families that don't agree

    My mother and my in-laws disagree with my beliefs, but that does not mean we cannot respect each other on a fundamental level. We simply choose to discuss other things.
    “Men brave and generous live the best lives, seldom will they sorrow; then there are fools, afraid of everything, who grumble instead of giving.”

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    Supporter callmeclemens's Avatar
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    Re: Families that don't agree

    While the general atmosphere of my family was Cathholic I still was exposed to many ideas. My Mother and her family are devout Catholics however, my mother dabbles in so much of the occult while somehow managing to be unaware of it. My Father was a revolving door of Christianity. From Mormon, to fundamentalist and whatever you can find in-between. Its only because of him I've learned to keep my thoughts to myself until I can properly articulate to others what I believe and why I believe it.

    My wife knows I'm a Pagan, but to this point I only express ideas to her, and don't often share beliefs.

    Sharing with family is a tough call. I hope my grandparents never find out. I respect them, and their faith enough to not question it by the way I live openly to them.
    “A lifetime may not be long enough to attune ourselves fully to the harmony of the universe. But just to become aware that we can resonate with it -- that alone can be like waking up from a dream.” - Br. David Steindl Rast

  10. #10
    Cat Freak Gleb's Avatar
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    Re: Families that don't agree

    Quote Originally Posted by Aster Thrakena View Post
    First of all, I apologize if there is already a thread based on this particular topic, but I just had to ask...

    Did you grow up with your parents teaching you, or did you learn yourself? Did they accept your pagan views?

    I have a pretty open father but...my mom has basically all up and left. My dad doesn't know the extent of my beliefs, but he knows enough that he shows me news on witch stuff or pagan stuff. My fiancé also knows and he is pretty understanding. Just, how did you tell your family/significant other. What were the results? Should you keep it hidden forever? Should you say it up front? Should you wait awhile? My deed is already done, but I am curious of other stories. Especially from those who found out that their path wasn't for them when they were in the high school age.

    For those that had adverse reactions, are you better now?

    Sorry...lots of questions
    Both. I was taught by my parents as well as I learned myself. They're still wary of my pagan side, but I don't care much. I just don't bring it up.
    When I told my parents they didn't accept it very well at first. It took a while for them to accept it. There were arguments here and there but in general it was okay. It depends on your parents - if you're afraid you'll not be safe if you tell them - then keep it inside. If you think it'll be fine - it's up to you.

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