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Thread: Should kids be punished for mistakes or errors of judgement?

  1. #11
    Nihilistic Goddess Medusa's Avatar
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    Re: Should kids be punished for mistakes or errors of judgement?

    Eh punishment and corrected are the same thing to a kid getting a spankin.
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    Re: Should kids be punished for mistakes or errors of judgement?

    Spankings are reserved for defiance. An error in judgment can be corrected by having them work to repair damage or simply with an explanation of why they got hurt and how to avoid it the next time.

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    Nihilistic Goddess Medusa's Avatar
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    Re: Should kids be punished for mistakes or errors of judgement?

    Quote Originally Posted by DragonsFriend View Post
    Spankings are reserved for defiance. An error in judgment can be corrected by having them work to repair damage or simply with an explanation of why they got hurt and how to avoid it the next time.
    I'm guessing you never got the chancla?
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    Re: Should kids be punished for mistakes or errors of judgement?

    I only spank for stuff that could kill/maim/severely injur you or someone else. Otherwise grounding and loss of privilege are usually adequate for defiant behavior or repeated bad judgement. First time offenses, extenuating circumstances, and genuine mistakes are more of a "clean up your own mess" and tell me what you learned (which sometimes includes looking something up) from it.

    IE: If you knock the carton of milk on the floor and spill it, you get to clean it up. If you pour the carton of milk on the floor after I tell you to put it away because you are pissed off at being interrupted from *whatever*, that *whatever* is gone.
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    Re: Should kids be punished for mistakes or errors of judgement?

    Oddly I only got spanked once. I was being a brat to my mother and said 'no!' to her in a very snotty way. I was 8 or 9. I'd always been a good kid. But my dad took a belt to me. Just one smack. Didn't even hurt. But my pride was hurt. I huffed and pouted so much he took me to McDonald's for an ice cream cone.

    I guess that wasn't the greatest of stories about spanking. Then again I was 'Daddy's little Princess'. Even had one of those pink shirts with the iron on patch with a kitty kat.


    My mother on the other hand. She hit me in the head with her Movado pearl ring at a restaurant once. I was 14 and a complete snotty one at that. I thanked her years later for not pulling up to the Santa Fe dam and dropping me off in a ditch.
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    Re: Should kids be punished for mistakes or errors of judgement?

    I had a paddle that I made from Lexan. It hung on the living room wall, in plain sight. It was 4 inches wide and 12 inches long. It didn't cause pain but it was good at making noise. I was careful to never use it in anger and most often I had to fight the laughter back. Kids are great and I hated using the paddle but I knew there were times when it was necessary no matter how "cute" they were. How did I know how hard to hit? I tested it on myself! If it stung me it was too hard for my kids! The sound and the shame they felt was enough. Before the spanking I told them why they were being spanked. I reminded them that I didn't like spanking them but their action required it. They would get a swat or two and it was over. I would tell them that when they were through crying they could come out of their room.
    When they came out we were best friends again. We could laugh and cuddle and they knew that I still loved them. I must have done OK because when they had kids they asked to have a paddle to hang on the wall.

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    Head Above Water habbalah's Avatar
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    Re: Should kids be punished for mistakes or errors of judgement?

    Quote Originally Posted by Medusa View Post
    I'm guessing you never got the chancla?
    My parents used kitchen spoons or wooden slats. Spanking never corrected my behavior--it just made me angry.
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    Re: Should kids be punished for mistakes or errors of judgement?

    Quote Originally Posted by habbalah View Post
    My parents used kitchen spoons or wooden slats. Spanking never corrected my behavior--it just made me angry.
    Well why do you think Mexicans are so spicy?
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    Re: Should kids be punished for mistakes or errors of judgement?

    I will admit I wasn't good at handing out consequences of doing wrong when my 2 were very little...
    I had it pretty rough when I was small, often beaten and verbally/mentally abused for the smallest of things, (like accidentally leaving a light on, or knocking over a glass of pop, for instance) it made me a very withdrawn and nervous person, with lots of insecurities, hang-ups and taboos... all of which I tend to have, still...

    I remember my Grans telling my parents off for being so hard on me, and I ended up living with one for a time to keep me safer...

    So I parented in a kind of reverse way, to begin with, because I didn't want my children to suffer as badly as I used to... letting things slide a bit, not picking up on stuff at times when perhaps I should have.
    However, I soon came to realize we all need to know our boundaries, or we grow into people that don't make good society.
    I like to think now I did a good job as people who know them tell me they are "lovely lads".

    I guess it's a case of getting the balance right, and each situation has to be given plenty of careful consideration.

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    Re: Should kids be punished for mistakes or errors of judgement?

    Speaking from personal experience, as an only child who was spanked regularly, spanking was a particularly effective method of punishment for me. Now, my parents were both conservative Christians so seemingly minor things often seemed a bit blown out of proportion. Then again, my parents always had long lectures with me beforehand and made me explain to THEM why I was being spanked in order to make sure that I understood that this was not something they enjoyed doing.

    Their lectures, by the way, were sometimes over an hour long. Any arguing or difference of opinion was regarded as continued defiance so they'd yak at me a bit longer until I finally just gave in and mindlessly repeated whatever trivial bullshit they wanted me to say.

    And I'll tell you what, it was overkill. I was corrected AND punished every time.

    All that to say, there's a time to spank and a time to allow consequence to 'clean up their own mess,' as Thal put it. I also figure that unless you derive pleasure from physically punishing your children, you're probably a decent judge of when those times are.
    No one tells the wind which way to blow.

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