Hiding In Plain Sight

[Medusa]

Re: Hiding In Plain Sight

I feel you. Everyone has their own discipline they have to push upon themselves. Some more than others. But with experience you will learn to do it as old hat. Maybe find a way to do some controlled destruction.

[EndlessCravings]

Re: Hiding In Plain Sight

I feel you. Everyone has their own discipline they have to push upon themselves. Some more than others. But with experience you will learn to do it as old hat. Maybe find a way to do some controlled destruction.

Like what? What do you have in mind?

[Medusa]

Re: Hiding In Plain Sight

Heavy metal my friend. Heavy metal is your friend. I can't tell you how much NIN I listen to to get out all my rage. It's great.

[EndlessCravings]

Re: Hiding In Plain Sight

Heavy metal my friend. Heavy metal is your friend. I can't tell you how much NIN I listen to to get out all my rage. It's great.

Haha, that's funny. I'm not too fond of it, myself. That never seems to work for me.

[anunitu]

Re: Hiding In Plain Sight

It always worked for me too EC,loud and driving...helps with the anger constipation.

[DragonsFriend]

Re: Hiding In Plain Sight

EndlessCravings,
You know yourself well for one of your age. It is said that people with "controllable" ASPD are some of the most successful sales people, politicians and corporate managers.The lack of compassion and morals seems to be necessary to those positions. Accepting the ethical code of society and the etiquette that governs those interactions is the easy part. Faking compassion and interest for others is the hard part. You need to find companions who are less emotional about things in life and perhaps present yourself as less emotional so others don't come to you for comfort. They may come to you for advice when they want an impartial opinion and that is easier for you to do. At your age emotions are expected but if you don't have them don't pretend. Be yourself (within the limits of common ethics) and let those who appreciate that come to you.

[Taulmaril]

Re: Hiding In Plain Sight

"One other thing,when I was in the mental health system,and did the therapist thing(my issue at the time was severe depression) I found the definition of Personality disorder and asked my Therapist if I might be like that. What I found out was,therapist's hate dealing with a person with ASPD because it is one of the most difficult to deal with over all the others."

My question is; did you actually get a diagnosis for ASPD? Because if you did not and all you actually did was self-diagnose from a book (which is never a good idea) then you may not be getting the treatment you need. You said that you had depression? Perhaps what is really going is this or even Bipolar disorder which can sometimes mask as other issues such as ASPD and schizophrenia. If you have never been actually diagnosed I urge you to do so in order to get the proper treatment.

[Prickly Pear]

Re: Hiding In Plain Sight

Haha, that's funny. I'm not too fond of it, myself. That never seems to work for me.

If you are that young, I would second avoiding the label as long as you can. Even if it's spot on, it will change the way people treat you. I completely respect that you know yourself best, but we old farts do know that a whole lot of change happens in your early twenties. You seem to have very good insight, so please don't think I am discounting your judgement. Just asking you to consider a possibility.

As for distraction, have you considered a high adrenaline sport? I have heard that that can help. Something like downhill skiing or rock climbing. Maybe one you can do without working in a team setting. I wouldn't want you to hurt yourself, but the thrill and required focus might be useful. Also burn off anger and frustration.

Again, you seem pretty perceptive. I bet you'll figure it out.

[EndlessCravings]

Re: Hiding In Plain Sight

If you are that young, I would second avoiding the label as long as you can. Even if it's spot on, it will change the way people treat you. I completely respect that you know yourself best, but we old farts do know that a whole lot of change happens in your early twenties. You seem to have very good insight, so please don't think I am discounting your judgement. Just asking you to consider a possibility.

As for distraction, have you considered a high adrenaline sport? I have heard that that can help. Something like downhill skiing or rock climbing. Maybe one you can do without working in a team setting. I wouldn't want you to hurt yourself, but the thrill and required focus might be useful. Also burn off anger and frustration.

Again, you seem pretty perceptive. I bet you'll figure it out.

Consider a possibility of what? I've never considered either of those sports. Oh, and I'm not. It's not wise to tell my business in real life. I just doubt a personality disorder is gonna change like that. Sorry if my sentences aren't making too much sense, I'm tired.

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EndlessCravings,
You know yourself well for one of your age. It is said that people with "controllable" ASPD are some of the most successful sales people, politicians and corporate managers.The lack of compassion and morals seems to be necessary to those positions. Accepting the ethical code of society and the etiquette that governs those interactions is the easy part. Faking compassion and interest for others is the hard part. You need to find companions who are less emotional about things in life and perhaps present yourself as less emotional so others don't come to you for comfort. They may come to you for advice when they want an impartial opinion and that is easier for you to do. At your age emotions are expected but if you don't have them don't pretend. Be yourself (within the limits of common ethics) and let those who appreciate that come to you.

Thanks! Yeah, I had a person I talked to who was really, really emotional. She had a personality disorder, also. She had bpd and I didn't realize it and neither did she until a long time. Anyway, I couldn't help her and be whoever she wanted me to be. She was very, very emotional and was manipulative. Like saying "I'm gonna kill myself" stuff like that, that type of manipulation, lol. Of course, it's so normal for her to do that(sarcasm). And I'm the bad guy because I didn't care. I would say okay and finish saying my point or go do something else. But she was just all out of sorts, she had a lot of issues, We don't talk anymore, though.

[EndlessCravings]

Re: Hiding In Plain Sight

"One other thing,when I was in the mental health system,and did the therapist thing(my issue at the time was severe depression) I found the definition of Personality disorder and asked my Therapist if I might be like that. What I found out was,therapist's hate dealing with a person with ASPD because it is one of the most difficult to deal with over all the others."

My question is; did you actually get a diagnosis for ASPD? Because if you did not and all you actually did was self-diagnose from a book (which is never a good idea) then you may not be getting the treatment you need. You said that you had depression? Perhaps what is really going is this or even Bipolar disorder which can sometimes mask as other issues such as ASPD and schizophrenia. If you have never been actually diagnosed I urge you to do so in order to get the proper treatment.

You must be talking to Anunitu?

[EndlessCravings]

Re: Hiding In Plain Sight

Figured I don't need to be discussing my point with anyone just to talk in this thread. Perfectly content with writing my thoughts down. I've noticed I'm starting to lose interest in my teacher. Life is about to get really boring.

[Medusa]

Re: Hiding In Plain Sight

Figured I don't need to be discussing my point with anyone just to talk in this thread. Perfectly content with writing my thoughts down. I've noticed I'm starting to lose interest in my teacher. Life is about to get really boring.

so why did you start this thread?

[EndlessCravings]

Re: Hiding In Plain Sight

so why did you start this thread?

Because I wanted to talk about my struggles like everyone else and people could comment or offer advice if they "wanted" to.

[Medusa]

Re: Hiding In Plain Sight

Because I wanted to talk about my struggles like everyone else and people could comment or offer advice if they "wanted" to.

Well we are. I hope you aren't discouraged from talking about this subject though. In the end we can only go by what you tell us. It's a safe place here. No one is gonna judge you. Just give you honest feedback in what you want to discuss.

[EndlessCravings]

Re: Hiding In Plain Sight

Well we are. I hope you aren't discouraged from talking about this subject though. In the end we can only go by what you tell us. It's a safe place here. No one is gonna judge you. Just give you honest feedback in what you want to discuss.

Thank you. I'm not discouraged at all.

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I have wondered about myself because I do not mourn people that have died,not for my Father or Mother,or older brother or older sister. I do not feel anything other than the feeling they are no longer here,but no mourning.
Not sure if that is because I do not feel anything,I just have never felt like mourning like I see others do. I will say I have never felt like I belonged anywhere(Stranger in a strange land thing)

The stranger in a strange land thing is interesting. I usually adapt to people's personality. I think that's the right way to say it. I show them traits that I want them to see. I'm pretty in control of my emotions but have episodes rarely. Mourning is weird, weird as in I don't really understand some aspects of it. I've cried over my dead sister that I've never met in my life who is older than me, and have her name tattooed on my back, but I didn't care when my grandmother died. Maybe it was because it just really wasn't a shocking thing. She had already been hospice.