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Reason you Might want to rethink online dating

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    #16
    Re: Reason you Might want to rethink online dating

    It's pretty easy, really:

    -Talk a bit before you go out to get an idea of what they might be like
    -Meet them in crowded public places for the first few dates. Personally, I always met dates at restaurants, galleries, or movie theaters. With my boyfriend, our first five dates were movie-museum-movie-movie-picnic in the park in the middle of the day.
    -Never get in a car with them or go anywhere alone until you have a fairly good idea that they are not an ax murderer. Just wait a bit and keep it in your pants.

    It's not perfect and you will meet creepers. I met a few creepy guys online dating, and friends have even more horror stories. But most of the guys I went out with were nice, normal men who either wanted to meet a girlfriend or meet someone they could date casually (and honestly, there's nothing wrong with that, as long as you're on the same page). I didn't have any chemistry with most of them, but I hope they all found what they were looking for at some point because they were decent people. I love my boyfriend and think he's a gem. I'd probably never have met him offline, because we lived in different parts of the city, had different jobs, and completely different friends.

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      #17
      Re: Reason you Might want to rethink online dating

      OMG that is terrible! I don't think you should get rid of dating sites entirely, because there have been successful relationships due to online dating, but you have to be careful and look out for signs. Like people and catfish who ask those about their financial standings. I've had people befriend me on facebook and talk to me and ask about my finances then tell me they were in Iraq as US Soldiers and had two houses and three cars. Why ask me about my finances? You just have to be careful.
      Anubisa

      Dedicated and devoted to Lord Anubis and Lady Bast. A follower of the path of Egyptian Wicca.

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        #18
        Re: Reason you Might want to rethink online dating

        Originally posted by DanieMarie View Post
        It's pretty easy, really:

        -Talk a bit before you go out to get an idea of what they might be like
        -Meet them in crowded public places for the first few dates. Personally, I always met dates at restaurants, galleries, or movie theaters. With my boyfriend, our first five dates were movie-museum-movie-movie-picnic in the park in the middle of the day.
        -Never get in a car with them or go anywhere alone until you have a fairly good idea that they are not an ax murderer. Just wait a bit and keep it in your pants.
        Absolutely! And bring enough money to pay for the date in case they mysteriously left theirs at home.
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          #19
          Re: Reason you Might want to rethink online dating

          Further updates say that she dated this guy a few times before he did what he did. He does have a history of violence,and did jail time before. Do a search on google news.
          MAGIC is MAGIC,black OR white or even blood RED

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            #20
            Re: Reason you Might want to rethink online dating

            Originally posted by anunitu View Post
            Further updates say that she dated this guy a few times before he did what he did. He does have a history of violence,and did jail time before. Do a search on google news.
            Yikes.

            Though honestly, at that point I don't think meeting someone online has much to do with it. If they can get past your gut after a few dates, they'd easily be able to do so if you met them at a bar or bookstore or something.

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              #21
              Re: Reason you Might want to rethink online dating

              Originally posted by anunitu View Post
              Further updates say that she dated this guy a few times before he did what he did. He does have a history of violence,and did jail time before. Do a search on google news.
              This is the reason why that online dates should have a criminal background check to see if the person is dateable or not.

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                #22
                Re: Reason you Might want to rethink online dating

                Originally posted by Bartmanhomer View Post
                This is the reason why that online dates should have a criminal background check to see if the person is dateable or not.
                That would never happen. What past criminal convictions makes someone undatable is subjective, but more importantly, people with a criminal history could sue for discrimination.

                Being a sex offender is a matter of public record, so it can't hurt to run someone's name through the database before you meet them.
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                  #23
                  Re: Reason you Might want to rethink online dating

                  Originally posted by habbalah View Post
                  That would never happen. What past criminal convictions makes someone undatable is subjective, but more importantly, people with a criminal history could sue for discrimination.

                  Being a sex offender is a matter of public record, so it can't hurt to run someone's name through the database before you meet them.
                  That's what I'm saying. I know it's a double standard for discrimination but it's better safe than sorry.

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                    #24
                    Re: Reason you Might want to rethink online dating

                    Originally posted by Bartmanhomer View Post
                    That's what I'm saying. I know it's a double standard for discrimination but it's better safe than sorry.
                    That's sort of ironic if you think about it. It's ok to list and deny certain groups rights in the name of protection of innocence, even if it only protects a single person. Then go ballistic on others as the collective "You" says it's better to endanger even a single person vice denying a supposed right or recognition to another group.

                    Figure how can you confirm / deny a persons criminal history when even now there are movement's afoot to make it a denial of civil rights to ask about and / or deny a person a job or home / apartment, etc based on prior convictions as the legal system is unbalanced in the number of people of color in the system. The argument being its racial in application due to that in-balance. Even looking a sex offender listing is suspect for most will look and see a name and go no further yet ignore the multiple levels and degree's of convictions that can get you placed upon such a listing. Then the argument for instances about transgender and public bathrooms, again a rule in favor based upon a slanted ideal even if it means a single child might get abused or worse so long as you afford that right to them.

                    Is there a resolution to the situation? I really do not know other than being aware. Yet being realistic the odd's of something happening are probably about the same as being injured, raped, killed, etc by someone you already know and believe you are safe around.

                    Psychologically wise I'd say even your best beliefs and assumptions you can tell a potential aggressor is false given the number of serial killers, rapist, etc have a personality that deceives their victims into allowing them to get close to them.
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                      #25
                      Re: Reason you Might want to rethink online dating

                      Solution for single women doing first dating even online. Carry a small 9mm derringer tucked away somewhere no one can see. (this idea supported by our own DF).
                      One false move,do the double Barrel(yeh,they have dual shot thing).
                      Man that's small.
                      tumblr_mew5790Q7t1rq29x2.jpg

                      also this.


                      - - - Updated - - -

                      Also the new cell phone gun making the rounds.

                      Seen here.


                      - - - Updated - - -

                      On your own explaining why you shot the guy.
                      MAGIC is MAGIC,black OR white or even blood RED

                      all i ever wanted was a normal life and love.
                      NO TERF EVER WE belong Too.
                      don't stop the tears.let them flood your soul.




                      sigpic

                      my new page here,let me know what you think.


                      nothing but the shadow of what was

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                        #26
                        Re: Reason you Might want to rethink online dating

                        Anunitu, Now your crossing into the gun debate and argument. So many slippery slopes to fall down or upon as we try to protect ourselves.
                        I'm Only Responsible For What I Say Not For What Or How You Understand!

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                          #27
                          Re: Reason you Might want to rethink online dating

                          Who's a slippery slope?..is that a derogatory term for a slippery slope that is sometimes known as a slick willy?
                          MAGIC is MAGIC,black OR white or even blood RED

                          all i ever wanted was a normal life and love.
                          NO TERF EVER WE belong Too.
                          don't stop the tears.let them flood your soul.




                          sigpic

                          my new page here,let me know what you think.


                          nothing but the shadow of what was

                          witchvox
                          http://www.witchvox.com/vu/vxposts.html

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                            #28
                            Re: Reason you Might want to rethink online dating

                            Man, life is risk and sometimes you get murdered. Sucks but that's the shit. I think we have so much of an overreaction in terms of personal safety. All we can do is somewhat mitigate risk through common sense. What are the odds of getting murdered off a dating website? Close to zero.

                            Mine aren't because I'm insufferable but that is besides the point.

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                              #29
                              Re: Reason you Might want to rethink online dating

                              Originally posted by anunitu View Post
                              Who's a slippery slope?..is that a derogatory term for a slippery slope that is sometimes known as a slick willy?
                              Sad all I can think of with the term Slick Willy is Bill Clinton. Well that and Monica stating how Hillary couldn't get the "JOB" done which I suppose could be seen as a slippery slope. Of course if we add the gun aspect then there's this Clint Eastwood movie with Sondra Locke titled The Gauntlet where a gun was used for some sexual stimulation's. Which is another slippery slope.
                              I'm Only Responsible For What I Say Not For What Or How You Understand!

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                                #30
                                Re: Reason you Might want to rethink online dating

                                Originally posted by ThePaganMafia View Post
                                Man, life is risk and sometimes you get murdered. Sucks but that's the shit. I think we have so much of an overreaction in terms of personal safety. All we can do is somewhat mitigate risk through common sense. What are the odds of getting murdered off a dating website? Close to zero.

                                Mine aren't because I'm insufferable but that is besides the point.
                                Yes. You cannot be perfectly safe. You can do your best to mitigate risk, but you cannot avoid it completely. With all respect to the real horror of what happened to this woman, I think that there is a tendency to run with these stories because it allows us to create a fiction of safety in our daily lives. If internet dating is unsafe, then not dating that way makes you safer. Which is not true. Your mom's best friend's son could be just as dangerous as the guy from Tinder could. Someone's kid dies in a boating accident, and the parents are supposedly to blame for taking the kid on a boat. Meantime, no one has a problem with parents who take their kids everywhere in cars, which is actually much more of a statistical risk. But we like to create an illusion that if we just follow certain rules no one will get hurt, ever.

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