Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

Meternity leave... Really???

Collapse
X
 
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • Meternity leave... Really???

    So I across this interview with Meghann Foye about her new book "Meterinity". It goes on to say she has never had kids but feels that women, and to a lesser degree, men deserve to take a paid leave to give them "me" time to find themselves mid career. This came about because she was envious of other women who choose to take a more "traditional" role and get knocked up. She feels your more likely to be given some slack if you have to leave to go get your kids then take your girlfriend out for drinks cause she was stood up...

    Meghann Foye, 38, was jealous of co-workers clocking out for maternity leave, and decided she needed a break of her own. Here, the author of the novel “Meternity” (Mira, out now), tells The Post’s …


    So being in the culinary field I can honestly say at least in the places I worked you aren't given slack for having kids in fact you are more likely to get the crappier shifts be skipped over for promotion and advancement and have your thoughts and opinions ignored. She also goes to talk about going through a burn out and how this would help women(who don't have kids) and men keep from having these. "Bottom line: Women are bad at putting themselves first. But when you have a child you learn to self-advocate to put the needs of your family first. A well crafted "meternity" leave can give you these skills."

    Your thoughts and GO!!!
    "If you want to know what a man is like, take a good look at how he treats his inferiors, not his equals." -- Sirius Black

    "Time is an illusion, lunch time doubly so."-- Ford Prefect

  • #2
    Re: Meternity leave... Really???

    I agree with this like I agree with taking 'cig' now known as 'e-cig' breaks at work. My co-worker takes e-cig breaks. I need to start taking a fake vape to work so I too can get these breaks.

    It's like that. At least for me.

    Now my boss ( a male) has two kids with his ex. And he moves us around the schedule due to child issues. So it's a real thing. Not just for women though. I have no children. But many times when asked to change my schedule and I just don't want to, I just say I have a family thing to do. I have to lie because if I just say nah, I want to watch tv on this particular day, I get guilted (or attempted) guilted to come in.
    Satan is my spirit animal

    Comment


    • #3
      Re: Meternity leave... Really???

      The cig break thing drives me crazy, even when I did smoke I didn't take breaks at work but I had guys in the kitchen who got to come in early, clock in, and work because they had to have enough time to get their stuff done and take their smoke breaks.. In a kitchen its def different then retail you wind up covering for them while they take that break in a kitchen as long as we aren't in service you basically are left to your own devices to get your stuff done. No breaks during service. PERIOD.

      The only major time I have been inconvenienced by someone with kids was not their fault but my bosses because she wouldn't say no. I don't mind letting you have every other weekend off because you have your kids(I came from a divorced family I know how it goes) I don't even mind letting you work most day shifts because you have to get them what I mind is when I never get a weekend off because my boss allows you to have every weekend off because you have something to do with your kids.. but I have also had a boss let a guy do that because he was really into sports and needed to be off so he could watch the game.
      "If you want to know what a man is like, take a good look at how he treats his inferiors, not his equals." -- Sirius Black

      "Time is an illusion, lunch time doubly so."-- Ford Prefect

      Comment


      • #4
        Re: Meternity leave... Really???

        It's not real maternity leave or sick leave that causes problems. It's the day to day things. And it's not really about who has kids. It's the people who come in late, gossip and make personal calls, have coffee, and finally kick into gear after lunch, then have to leave early because of an emergency EVERY WEEK. Other people in the same job show up early or on time, get their work done, and are punished for it by being told to help the slackers. They're questioned about why they want to take a vacation day, etc. Telling a boss you need to leave early to let a plumber in is frowned upon, but say the nurse called and Jr. has a fever, and it's fine. THAT is the problem. Everyone needs to help their coworkers out once in a while, but allotted time off is to be respected and not abused or questioned.
        sigpic
        Can you hear me, Major Tom? I think I love you.

        Comment


        • #5
          Re: Meternity leave... Really???

          The issues is that 'me' time is going to be laughed at.
          Yeah I'm effing burnt. I need a day off extra this week.
          no.


          Yeah I have a doctor's appt for my kid.
          No problem.

          I want to go to this grand opening in another state for the weekend.
          nope.

          my kid has a birthday in another state this weekend.

          ok.

          The kid thing comes off more acceptable than saying it's just for your own personal reasons.

          It's not illegal. It's not even a legal issue. It's a society and what does it think is ok. Kid's lives are top of the list. I don't have a kid. Eff a kid. I'm at the top of my list.
          Satan is my spirit animal

          Comment


          • #6
            Re: Meternity leave... Really???

            I get a certain number of hours of paid leave every pay period to take when I want to take it. I don't have to justify it, unless I'm calling out sick that day.

            I'll be honest though, most of my sick time is from sick kids. Lets face it, the building the better immune system time is terrible.
            “You have never answered but you did not need to. If I stand at the ocean I can hear you with your thousand voices. Sometimes you shout, hilarious laughter that taunts all questions. Other nights you are silent as death, a mirror in which the stars show themselves. Then I think you want to tell me something, but you never do. Of course I know I have written letters to no-one. But what if I find a trident tomorrow?" ~~Letters to Poseidon, Cees Nooteboom

            “We still carry this primal relationship to the Earth within our consciousness, even if we have long forgotten it. It is a primal recognition of the wonder, beauty, and divine nature of the Earth. It is a felt reverence for all that exists. Once we bring this foundational quality into our consciousness, we will be able to respond to our present man-made crisis from a place of balance, in which our actions will be grounded in an attitude of respect for all of life. This is the nature of real sustainability.”
            ~~Llewellyn Vaughan-Lee

            "We are the offspring of history, and must establish our own paths in this most diverse and interesting of conceivable universes--one indifferent to our suffering, and therefore offering us maximal freedom to thrive, or to fail, in our own chosen way."
            ~~Stephen Jay Gould, Wonderful Life: The Burgess Shale and the Nature of History

            "Humans are not rational creatures. Now, logic and rationality are very helpful tools, but there’s also a place for embracing our subjectivity and thinking symbolically. Sometimes what our so-called higher thinking can’t or won’t see, our older, more primitive intuition will." John Beckett

            Pagan Devotionals, because the wind and the rain is our Bible
            sigpic

            Comment


            • #7
              Re: Meternity leave... Really???

              Never did the "My kid" thing,but we had My ex's Mother at home with the kids. I would from time to time "Be sick",and all of us that worked in the production mail room did that,mainly because we worked so many hours. 2 hours a day during the week,and 8-10 on Saturday(every Saturday) so we were pulling like 18 hours of OT every week.
              We were told that the overtime was mandatory BUT when I got the labor code book,that was not the case,and it gave us some leverage.
              It came up when we were told we would not get our yearly bonus(based on company profits) percentage on over time,only on the 40 hour week. Considering our overtime amounted to almost 2 extra weeks each month,it hit the fan about not getting our percentage bonus on that amount. That is when we brought the labor code in about OT NOT being mandatory..so do not give us our bonus,then NO overtime period. The bonus was for working hard to bring up the bottom line,and with no OT,the bottom line would shrink.
              We sent out over 100,000 targeted mailings each month.
              It is good to know your rights..we got our bonus on our OT.
              MAGIC is MAGIC,black OR white or even blood RED

              all i ever wanted was a normal life and love.
              NO TERF EVER WE belong Too.
              don't stop the tears.let them flood your soul.




              sigpic

              my new page here,let me know what you think.


              nothing but the shadow of what was

              witchvox
              http://www.witchvox.com/vu/vxposts.html

              Comment


              • #8
                Re: Meternity leave... Really???

                I think my annoyance with it so much is I believe in ME time. I take ME time, and think everyone should too. I don't think maternity leave is about ME time at all, and I guess I don't like that she compares them. You should already have a healthy routine of doing things for you, in my opinion but we know what opinions are like. Hawk I agree 100% don't abuse what you have.
                "If you want to know what a man is like, take a good look at how he treats his inferiors, not his equals." -- Sirius Black

                "Time is an illusion, lunch time doubly so."-- Ford Prefect

                Comment


                • #9
                  Re: Meternity leave... Really???

                  I don't think a women who's not pregnant shouldn't gat a maternal leave. Why because it's like getting a freebie for no reason at all.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Re: Meternity leave... Really???

                    People in general should be given a certain amount of paid leave every year.

                    My sons mother got 3 weeks of unpaid maternity leave. She almost couldn't take it because it was hard to pay the bills. We were both blackjack dealers at a casino. Paid leave accrued so slow I think I may have gotten 2 or 3 paid days in the two years I worked there. You also got no sick days or family days at all. Everything was on a point system. After 10 points accrued you were fired. No questions asked. A missed day equals 2 points. Double if during what they considered a holiday time frame. So if you got the flu Christmas week and didn't come to work for three days because you couldn't get out of bed your ass was looking for a job. One of our dealers got fired because her son was in the hospital after a horrific accident and she didn't come into work.

                    Anyways, a lot of off topic but our workers need guaranteed leave. Paid maternity leave isn't required in the United States. Sick days aren't even required. There are a lot of issue when it comes to workers right in this country. I get that people get frustrated when they can't get time off like people who got kids and personal time off is a legitimate issue but it's fucked up that we live in the richest country ever and we can't give a working mother paid maternity leave.

                    I realize I have not addressed the topic but I think there are some major issues with worker leave that go beyond this.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Re: Meternity leave... Really???

                      I was lucky,had sick leave,4 weeks vacation before I retired,and good health coverage. I thought that everyone had those bennys,but It was California,and the company was good with the benefits. Also California had a VERY strong labor code to protect the workers. Calif. also has it very own OSHA above the federal one.
                      One Governor tried to kill the labor board and labor code as he was running for a second term. That was Wilson...that stance got him bounced as Governor,and also killed his trying to run for POTUS.
                      MAGIC is MAGIC,black OR white or even blood RED

                      all i ever wanted was a normal life and love.
                      NO TERF EVER WE belong Too.
                      don't stop the tears.let them flood your soul.




                      sigpic

                      my new page here,let me know what you think.


                      nothing but the shadow of what was

                      witchvox
                      http://www.witchvox.com/vu/vxposts.html

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Re: Meternity leave... Really???

                        If this woman thinks that women with kids are RELAXING during their maternity leave... I know enough new mothers to know that's just not true.

                        In Australia we get paid me-ternity leave... it's called '4 weeks annual leave' and '2 weeks sick/carers leave'. And if you stay at a job for ten years you then get '13 weeks long service leave'. Mothers get to spend their own sick leave looking after children with the sniffles who aren't allowed to go to daycare that day... then when they run out of sick days they get to take unpaid sick leave in order to look after the kid.

                        I do get frustrated when people with kids are given shift preferences, but I hate when non-parents start whining about how parents get it so much easier at work. My coworker worked at a $15 loss every week because of childcare costs. My sister can't take sick days for herself because she's used them all on the kids and her single mother budget is so tight that an unpaid day of puts her tooshort that week.

                        I think people like that woman need to check their privelege and look at what the real issue here is.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Re: Meternity leave... Really???

                          ^^^ Every place I worked started off with 1 week a year vacation, and 3 or 4 sick days. After 3 years you got 2 weeks/5 days. One place had 10 sick days but you didn't dare use them. So, this is the problem in the USA - imagine how fast those days got used up? Getting cable tv put in? Moving? Plumber, etc.? Most Dr.'s who don't have night hours? Car breakdown? There went your vacation time. People are beyond burnt out.
                          sigpic
                          Can you hear me, Major Tom? I think I love you.

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Re: Meternity leave... Really???

                            Originally posted by HAWKFEATHERS View Post
                            ^^^ Every place I worked started off with 1 week a year vacation, and 3 or 4 sick days. After 3 years you got 2 weeks/5 days. One place had 10 sick days but you didn't dare use them. So, this is the problem in the USA - imagine how fast those days got used up? Getting cable tv put in? Moving? Plumber, etc.? Most Dr.'s who don't have night hours? Car breakdown? There went your vacation time. People are beyond burnt out.
                            Which is what I think the real issue is. Workers' (non)rights in the US boggles my brain. So why is this woman attcking parents who need to be at home with their newborn baby? Does she expect a new mother to pop one out and go back to work the next day.

                            Yes, workers need me-time, but attcking new parents' right to their baby-time is not the way to go about it.

                            (And "self-advocacy for the good of your family"? Since when did sacrificing your paycheck to look after a screaming sick child become self-advocacy? Does she think mothers LIKE taking their kids to the doctor when the appointment is now costing more than she earned that day?)

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Re: Meternity leave... Really???

                              There is no way taking 'Me-ternity leave' could ever achieve what having a child does. This lady doesn't even know what she's talking about. Becoming a parent (especially a mother) tested me to my physical, emotional and spiritual limits. My whole identity was first stripped away as I no longer had 'Me-time' to do the things I once enjoyed and therein lies the idiocy of the comparison. I found my grip on reality loosen significantly as I questioned everything I once thought I was. It was as though I teetered right on the edge of sanity from mental and physical exhaustion. I was tested to my absolute limit and, fortunately , I adapted. There is no way the pressures of new parenthood could ever be replicated in any self-directed soul-searching retreat or whatever meaningful thing she's advocating you do with 'meternity leave' mainly because when such a change is self-directed, you can rarely push yourself so far past limitations in such a short space of time.

                              She is right about a couple of things:
                              But when you have a child, you learn how to self-advocate to put the needs of your family first
                              . This is absolutely true, but it's because you have a little dependent person who doesn't have the ability or insight to speak for itself, not because of some realisation you've had about your own ambitions or self-worth.

                              Work-life balance is tough for everyone, and it happens most when parents and nonparents support and don’t judge each other.
                              My boss is/was an absolute biatch about this one. When I first returned to work, she was extremely unwelcoming and attempted to undermine the support that I knew I had from my all-female, all mothers work group when I had to ring in to take days off. It utterly destroyed all trust and any kind of respect I could ever build for her. From her point of view, she wanted a team she could rely on to give highly consistent results to make herself look good. From my point of view, giving the best I could to my little dependent human who was basically in programming mode was WAY more important. I called her out on it and she thanked me and apologised, but as far as I'm concerned, I know her now. I can't respect the point of view that work productivity over-rides family relationships. At the end of my days, hopefully it's my family that's going to be there with me, not likely my work mates thanking me for coming in even though my son needed me at home one time!

                              So, here's the focal point and the end result that author wants to achieve:
                              ...my "meternity" taught me to live on my own terms and advocate what works for me.
                              Self-awareness and self-advocacy go hand in hand. I think what she is really promoting is a chance to develop that self-awareness. I agree with many of the others here who have pointed out that most people work ridiculous hours. I really feel that many people are under the illusion of freedom. I loved this image: Yoddler_359_MEDIUM.jpg Sometimes I feel like a slave to a huge money machine that I can never see or get a share in. It takes a total change in lifestyle and an act of bravery to quit feeling like that. I feel like I've got one foot partly in the water, but have a ways to go yet!

                              And as I watched my friends take their real maternity leaves, I saw that spending three months detached from their desks made them much more sure of themselves. One friend made the decision to leave her corporate career to create her own business; another decided to switch industries. From the outside, it seemed like those few weeks of them shifting their focus to something other than their jobs gave them a whole new lens through which to see their lives.
                              What the author is witnessing here is part of the loss and renewal of identity I was talking about earlier and there's a few parts to it. One factor is that your understanding of your limitations change as well as your understanding of the value of time. One of my previous bosses mused that she felt so busy before she had kids but remembered taking naps. The other factor that definitely, a break away from something that seems larger than life can break its power. For example, my year away from attending church meetings five times a week gave me the break I needed to honestly consider all I was taught and measure it against my own values and life experience. When you go into something and it's all you think about, it's all you think about! A hiatus can certainly help to put things into perspective.

                              So, I do think she's onto something, but comparing it to maternity leave is just plain silly. The same thing she's talking about could be achieved through a gap year or a backpacking holiday or whatever. I agree with her sentiments, I think she's just worded it all very poorly. Maybe she's simply trying to advertise her new novel.

                              Comment

                              Working...
                              X