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Thread: Meternity leave... Really???

  1. #21
    sea witch thalassa's Avatar
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    Re: Meternity leave... Really???

    Maternity leave is not "me" time. It's "recovering from a 9 month watermelon-sized parasite-tumor that either needed to be cut from your stomach or pushed out a hole that is ordinarily the diameter of a quarter, only to become a dairy cow with perpetual emotional overload" time.

    Those women didn't go off to do better things because of confidence or whatever, but because childcare is so freaking expensive, you might as well keep saying at home and enjoy your kids and go back to work once they are in school (and sure, dads could do this, but society beats them up for it).
    “You have never answered but you did not need to. If I stand at the ocean I can hear you with your thousand voices. Sometimes you shout, hilarious laughter that taunts all questions. Other nights you are silent as death, a mirror in which the stars show themselves. Then I think you want to tell me something, but you never do. Of course I know I have written letters to no-one. But what if I find a trident tomorrow?" ~~Letters to Poseidon, Cees Nooteboom

    “We still carry this primal relationship to the Earth within our consciousness, even if we have long forgotten it. It is a primal recognition of the wonder, beauty, and divine nature of the Earth. It is a felt reverence for all that exists. Once we bring this foundational quality into our consciousness, we will be able to respond to our present man-made crisis from a place of balance, in which our actions will be grounded in an attitude of respect for all of life. This is the nature of real sustainability.”
    ~~Llewellyn Vaughan-Lee

    "We are the offspring of history, and must establish our own paths in this most diverse and interesting of conceivable universes--one indifferent to our suffering, and therefore offering us maximal freedom to thrive, or to fail, in our own chosen way."
    ~~Stephen Jay Gould, Wonderful Life: The Burgess Shale and the Nature of History

    "Humans are not rational creatures. Now, logic and rationality are very helpful tools, but there’s also a place for embracing our subjectivity and thinking symbolically. Sometimes what our so-called higher thinking can’t or won’t see, our older, more primitive intuition will." John Beckett

    Pagan Devotionals, because the wind and the rain is our Bible

  2. #22
    Supporter Hawkfeathers's Avatar
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    Re: Meternity leave... Really???

    I'm glad I grew up in an era where most mothers were home. The economy doesn't allow that now. I don't remember any of my elem. school classmates having working mothers, daycare, etc. Nobody had divorced parents, either. Imagine that!

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    Re: Meternity leave... Really???

    Working women: ruining marriages everywhere, apparently.

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    Supporter Hawkfeathers's Avatar
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    Re: Meternity leave... Really???

    Nah, it's the men who don't earn a million bucks doing that. LOL

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    sea witch thalassa's Avatar
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    Re: Meternity leave... Really???

    I'd also like to add, on the subject of me-ternity time, that people already have that, in the sorts of jobs that this woman likely frequents---its called VACATION TIME. Also, there's a leave of absence, sabbatical, etc...if you financially prepare for it, you can take as much time off as you want. Most American places of business (including the federal government, but excluding military women) require women to take vacation and sick time or be unpaid for their maternity leave. The exception (gov't wise) is the military, which considers post-pregnancy to be convalescent leave--the same as you would get for surgical procedures, etc.

    Also, there's "retirement"--or what the folks I work with nearing that age call "my house is paid off, my car is paid off, my kids are out of the house, I can sell and use the equity to downsize and I have enough retirement income to find a job I like".


    ETA: I know more women that stayed home with the kids and got left high and dry with no income and few job opportunities than stayed together as SAHMs. I think it has less to do with the working (or not) and more to do with the bias against divorce and the financial dependence that women in previous generations had in a vasly more unfair-to-women labor market--my grandparents are miserable together, but have been that way for 60 years, so they might as well keep it up.
    Last edited by thalassa; 04 May 2016 at 01:43.
    “You have never answered but you did not need to. If I stand at the ocean I can hear you with your thousand voices. Sometimes you shout, hilarious laughter that taunts all questions. Other nights you are silent as death, a mirror in which the stars show themselves. Then I think you want to tell me something, but you never do. Of course I know I have written letters to no-one. But what if I find a trident tomorrow?" ~~Letters to Poseidon, Cees Nooteboom

    “We still carry this primal relationship to the Earth within our consciousness, even if we have long forgotten it. It is a primal recognition of the wonder, beauty, and divine nature of the Earth. It is a felt reverence for all that exists. Once we bring this foundational quality into our consciousness, we will be able to respond to our present man-made crisis from a place of balance, in which our actions will be grounded in an attitude of respect for all of life. This is the nature of real sustainability.”
    ~~Llewellyn Vaughan-Lee

    "We are the offspring of history, and must establish our own paths in this most diverse and interesting of conceivable universes--one indifferent to our suffering, and therefore offering us maximal freedom to thrive, or to fail, in our own chosen way."
    ~~Stephen Jay Gould, Wonderful Life: The Burgess Shale and the Nature of History

    "Humans are not rational creatures. Now, logic and rationality are very helpful tools, but there’s also a place for embracing our subjectivity and thinking symbolically. Sometimes what our so-called higher thinking can’t or won’t see, our older, more primitive intuition will." John Beckett

    Pagan Devotionals, because the wind and the rain is our Bible

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    Nihilistic Goddess Medusa's Avatar
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    Re: Meternity leave... Really???

    Quote Originally Posted by thalassa View Post
    Maternity leave is not "me" time. It's "recovering from a 9 month watermelon-sized parasite-tumor that either needed to be cut from your stomach or pushed out a hole that is ordinarily the diameter of a quarter, only to become a dairy cow with perpetual emotional overload" time.

    Those women didn't go off to do better things because of confidence or whatever, but because childcare is so freaking expensive, you might as well keep saying at home and enjoy your kids and go back to work once they are in school (and sure, dads could do this, but society beats them up for it).
    lol. You did the deed, not me!
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    sea witch thalassa's Avatar
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    Re: Meternity leave... Really???

    Quote Originally Posted by Medusa View Post
    lol. You did the deed, not me!
    Yeah, but you aren't making the claim that you need special time off to recuperate just from adulting!
    “You have never answered but you did not need to. If I stand at the ocean I can hear you with your thousand voices. Sometimes you shout, hilarious laughter that taunts all questions. Other nights you are silent as death, a mirror in which the stars show themselves. Then I think you want to tell me something, but you never do. Of course I know I have written letters to no-one. But what if I find a trident tomorrow?" ~~Letters to Poseidon, Cees Nooteboom

    “We still carry this primal relationship to the Earth within our consciousness, even if we have long forgotten it. It is a primal recognition of the wonder, beauty, and divine nature of the Earth. It is a felt reverence for all that exists. Once we bring this foundational quality into our consciousness, we will be able to respond to our present man-made crisis from a place of balance, in which our actions will be grounded in an attitude of respect for all of life. This is the nature of real sustainability.”
    ~~Llewellyn Vaughan-Lee

    "We are the offspring of history, and must establish our own paths in this most diverse and interesting of conceivable universes--one indifferent to our suffering, and therefore offering us maximal freedom to thrive, or to fail, in our own chosen way."
    ~~Stephen Jay Gould, Wonderful Life: The Burgess Shale and the Nature of History

    "Humans are not rational creatures. Now, logic and rationality are very helpful tools, but there’s also a place for embracing our subjectivity and thinking symbolically. Sometimes what our so-called higher thinking can’t or won’t see, our older, more primitive intuition will." John Beckett

    Pagan Devotionals, because the wind and the rain is our Bible

  8. #28
    lady sings the blues DanieMarie's Avatar
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    Re: Meternity leave... Really???

    Gods no. This shouldn't be a thing.
    Where I live, we have "me" time (well I don't, because I'm freelance, but anyone who is employed by someone does). It's called paid holiday, and we're entitled to 24 work days per year per 40-hour weekly contract (scaled down for part-time jobs). I'm all for that, and for sensible hours that let you go and have a life outside of work, but a me-ternity leave is taking it too far. Between our holidays, public holidays, and all that jazz, we already get a fair bit of time off work. Plus we get guaranteed paid sick days (including leave for burnout or mental health...it's so easy to get a note for that. My friend just took two weeks off for burnout, and I did it when I was employed). I think that might be the issue with getting absolutely nothing guaranteed. You have to fight so hard to get something that people take it too far. No one here needs to do that. You're stressed at work and need some "me" time? Go to your doctor and say you're tired all the time. Bam. Sick note, and your employer isn't allowed to question it.

    - - - Updated - - -

    Quote Originally Posted by Rae'ya View Post
    Which is what I think the real issue is. Workers' (non)rights in the US boggles my brain. So why is this woman attcking parents who need to be at home with their newborn baby? Does she expect a new mother to pop one out and go back to work the next day.

    Yes, workers need me-time, but attcking new parents' right to their baby-time is not the way to go about it.

    (And "self-advocacy for the good of your family"? Since when did sacrificing your paycheck to look after a screaming sick child become self-advocacy? Does she think mothers LIKE taking their kids to the doctor when the appointment is now costing more than she earned that day?)
    EXACTLY. Maternity isn't the problem. The lack of worker's rights in the US is the problem.

    - - - Updated - - -

    Quote Originally Posted by Tylluan Penry View Post
    I have always felt that most people work far too long. Everyone would probably be much more productive with more breaks and more holidays. It would even out in the end.
    It does. Germany has very generous work hours and holidays, and we are the most productive country in the world, in terms of productivity per worker. However, productivity has been dropping due to stress and burnout issues, which really corresponds with a drop in the "German" way of working and increasing overtime and such. I think too many managers here read too many American management books and forget that this country was already on the right track.

    That being said, we still get the sick leave for burnout, and I think everyone is better for it.

  9. #29
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    Re: Meternity leave... Really???

    It's called entitlement and plain laziness. Vacation time is "me" time, if you don't like it then start your own business, become freelance or the like.

  10. #30
    lady sings the blues DanieMarie's Avatar
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    Re: Meternity leave... Really???

    Me time as a freelancer?

    HAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA

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