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Thread: Need answers

  1. #1
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    Need answers

    Im not quite sure how to put this. I believe in many things. I am also very skeptical about things as well. I am one who usually needs to see or experience to believe. I have not been to any pagan ceremonies or anything. But recently i have taken part in two events. Now they were not big events or anything. The first was a book signing of a friend of mine. He gave a short talk before hand and then did a couple excercises. These were about focusing your energy. After we did the excercises, i felt very emotional. I believe it leaned towards feeling sad. After years of hiding my emotions i got fairly good at hiding it, because i suppose ive never wanted people to know how i felt. The second time was a couple days ago at a mabon gathering. We had a dinner, before we ate we did dome chanting and some energy gocusing for all the things going on fires, floods, etc. After we were done i again had the heavy emetional feeling. This was the first time i have taken part in anything lime this. I understand that there is a lot of energy flowing. What i dont understsnd is ehy i was feeling sad. I suppose i should also note that when ever i really think about living this life as pagan and embracing it, and about how i currently am living it in a fairly carefree sort of way i have a very similar feeling. I know i should talk to my close friends about this, whom are in a way responsible for reintroducing me to this life, seeing how they are elders in the community, i have always had trouble talking to people who are close to me. Even about things that have no reason to be ashamed, or embarassed about. I apologize for the long post, and for any typos as i am having to type this on my phone. Lol. If anybody may have some insight they may share, i would highly appreciate it. I may want to add something im not sure msy be connected or not. I have been more sexually active recently, due to recently leaving a 3 year relationship which was my first ever at thr age 31, 35 now, and being as i am for the first time really exploring and finding myself. I have noticed that the men i have been with, including my ex amd others whome i was only friends with, i formed a strong connection with. It ma y be my lack of experience in this but it doesnt feel like "puppy love" kind of thing, but a very close bond i seem to form with them, and from my understanding them to I. My apologies again for i know this is a lot at once, but it is something that ends up weighing on me quite heavy, and quite often recently. I thank you for any insight you may have to share.

  2. #2
    Supporter Torey's Avatar
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    Re: Need answers

    Welcome.

    My first impression was that perhaps you are feeling down due to the possibility that you desire a connection to something/someone in your life that has meaning on a larger scale; it may be that attending the group events and stirring your own energies while experiencing the energies of others around you activated a need for that sense of belonging. I may be completely off the mark on that, but that is what comes to mind after reading your story.

    I don't know what your personal enjoyments are or if you are a social individual, but my thoughts would be to encourage you to participate in more of these kinds of group events. Most assuredly speak to your friends if you can pluck up the courage to do so in your own time.
    Last edited by Torey; 11 Sep 2017 at 18:52.

  3. #3
    Opinionated Rae'ya's Avatar
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    Re: Need answers

    I agree with Torey, but I'd also like to add that sometimes when I feel overwhelmed, it feels like 'sad'. I think sometimes when it's an emotion or feeling that we don't know how to process, our mind defaults to 'sad' because it doesn't know what else to feel or how to interpret that feeling.

  4. #4
    Sr. Member Chessa's Avatar
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    Re: Need answers

    I'd agree with Rae'ya here; a lot of people will cry at parties or such because intense experiences kind of spill over. Then coming down from that adrenaline causes some depression.

  5. #5

    Re: Need answers

    Also, it could just be an expression of grief. Sometimes it takes a long time to process. Maybe because you lost an important relationship, maybe because moving forward with paganism means you have to let go of some old beliefs, habits, connections. It sounds like you are in a time of change, which is really exciting, but usually means the death or at least distancing of some things that have been important to you. If it were me, I would move forward with the new things, but with caution : 1. This is a vulnerable time for you, 2. The sadness may be a warning that you are not comfortable with some of the new changes. If you are normally okay emotionally, then cautious forward movement should be okay. If you become overwhelmed, then obviously find some trusted help.

    Also, sex hormones can create a very strong sense of bonding, even if the partner might not be the right one for the long term. It can be such a great feeling, but again, I would suggest taking time before making any big commitments. If it is right, time usually tells you.

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    Re: Need answers

    Thank you all very much. You all have seemed to bring forth exact feelings and desires, and events that have taken place recently. I have been looking for a commu ity and a sense of belonging. I had broken up with my ex earlier this year which really hurt. I have been longing fir another full relationship, but since ill be moving in a year im not looking for one now, but feel totally alone. I look forward to continuing my immersion into the groups i have started to see, but i am nervous about not fully embracing what i see or learn. Like i said before i believe in a lot of things, but have trouble embracing.

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