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    Re: Whatcha thinking about now? (v2)

    So, I have the potential to move to Minnesota until May to get my clinicals done. The funeral home I would be working with is about 6 hours from home. They work primarily with Native families on reservations, and I’d have the opportunity to learn about Native religion and funeral rites and make contacts there, which is awesome. But I would be away from home for months, except for a few weeks here and there. It would be about a $15k/yr increase from where I’m at now financially.


    I plan to ask for my schedule to be 10 days on 4 off so that I can come home for a long weekend every other week, and for two weeks off in December, a week in Feb. and a week in Apr. I’m not expecting to get paid for those 4 weeks, but I need time to come home and be with my family. I have six months left to go, and if I don’t do this, I’m going to fail my clinicals and the program. In the last year I’ve accumulated more in student loans, spent so much time studying and preparing, and I have life dreams that I’m basing on this career path, not to mention fulfilling a spiritual calling. It’s sooo damn important to me.


    But if I do this, I’ll be missing a lot in the first year with our new daughter, not to mention time with my 5yo who will notice that I’m gone that long and probably remember this and hold it against me forever... That may be being a bit dramatic, but who am I kidding, she's a dramatic kid. And that’s making me really sad.
    We are what we are. Nothing more, nothing less. There is good and evil among every kind of people. It's the evil among us who rule now. -Anne Bishop, Daughter of the Blood

    I wondered if he could ever understand that it was a blessing, not a sin, to be graced with more than one love.
    It could be complicated; of course it could be complicated. And it opened one up to the possibility of more pain and loss.
    Still, it was a blessing I would never relinquish. Love, genuine love, was always a cause for joy.
    -Jacqueline Carey, Naamah's Curse

    Service to your fellows is the root of peace.

    Comment


      Re: Whatcha thinking about now? (v2)

      Been sick lately. I've had to go to the doctor twice this week. I went to an Urgent care doctor and pretty much was told to do the basic things for a cold. I went and saw the doctor today and she gave me a magic mouthwash (that's what it is called) and it is to help numb my throat. I've also been wheezing. So she also gave me a work excuse. I've also been having issues with my face. I was trying Proactiv but it made me break out really bad and my face hurt. I followed it to a 't.' So it's not like I didn't do it right. So I had to stop and start Cetaphil yesterday. My life is going crazy this week.
      Anubisa

      Dedicated and devoted to Lord Anubis and Lady Bast. A follower of the path of Egyptian Wicca.

      Comment


        Re: Whatcha thinking about now? (v2)

        Shahaku-
        It sounds like you have worked out a good plan. Hard, but good. You can do all kinds of things to keep up with the 5 year old. Make games and calendars for her to keep track of the plan. Call, Skype, whatever with her and keep up the regular visits. Snail mail is magic to a kid. She will remember the time together more than the absences. The baby is hard, because she won't realize things in the same way- it will be harder on you. She won't remember, and she will resume the bond when she has time with you again. You've put a lot into this, and 6 months is a bearable time to make a better future for yourself and your family. You also have the benefit of other responsible adults to keep up with things at home. If they are okay with it, and you feel confident leaving them on the home front, it sounds sensible. I can only see a long term problem if any of you are feeling strong doubts or if there are pressing relationship issues. Good luck with this; it is a big decision!

        Comment


          Re: Whatcha thinking about now? (v2)

          So I've decided to leave the forum for a while. Apparently I have caused some waves and I feel that I have had a negative backlash. I just wanted to put my opinion out there and I feel judged for it. What's worse is that I have been accused of being ignorant. I could have worded how I felt differently and probably should have, but no one should feel hurt for voicing their opinions. I don't know how long I will be gone to tell the truth. I will do a lot of focusing on myself. A lot of praying, cleansing, talking to Lord Anubis. However, I am too old to feel that I need to explain myself. I am taking a sabbatical. I have a lot of great friends on this website and I am sorry to leave right now. However, I am not going to allow myself to feel this way. I will be back. I have some advice. Forums are for discussions and if you disagree with someone, do not make that person feel bad about themselves. You can still disagree and explain why you feel they are wrong without making it personal.

          Blessings...
          Anubisa

          Dedicated and devoted to Lord Anubis and Lady Bast. A follower of the path of Egyptian Wicca.

          Comment


            Re: Whatcha thinking about now? (v2)

            Shahaku, sorry you are having to make this incredibly difficult choice. It's really hard to be away from small children. It sounds like an amazing opportunity for you. I hope you find yourself at peace with whatever you do!

            Comment


              Re: Whatcha thinking about now? (v2)

              Originally posted by anubisa View Post
              So I've decided to leave the forum for a while. .....Forums are for discussions and if you disagree with someone, do not make that person feel bad about themselves. You can still disagree and explain why you feel they are wrong without making it personal.

              Blessings...
              Great advice I'll take to heart. Thank you for your blessings, I pray they are returned to you in kind.

              Comment


                Re: Whatcha thinking about now? (v2)

                Originally posted by Prickly Pear View Post
                Shahaku-
                It sounds like you have worked out a good plan. Hard, but good. You can do all kinds of things to keep up with the 5 year old. Make games and calendars for her to keep track of the plan. Call, Skype, whatever with her and keep up the regular visits. Snail mail is magic to a kid. She will remember the time together more than the absences. The baby is hard, because she won't realize things in the same way- it will be harder on you. She won't remember, and she will resume the bond when she has time with you again. You've put a lot into this, and 6 months is a bearable time to make a better future for yourself and your family. You also have the benefit of other responsible adults to keep up with things at home. If they are okay with it, and you feel confident leaving them on the home front, it sounds sensible. I can only see a long term problem if any of you are feeling strong doubts or if there are pressing relationship issues. Good luck with this; it is a big decision!
                I know that the baby won't remember, but there is sooo much bonding that happens in the first year, and there are times I feel like a lot of the problems between our gf and our 5 yo is that she wasn't with us the first year. It's not that they have a bad relationship, and it's definitely improved a lot, but the first couple years were really hard. I don't want to end up in the same place with our baby. But this is a huge opportunity, and I can't really afford to pass it up. My gf is hesitant, but my husband really doesn't want my schooling to have gone to waste. They're both being supportive and encouraging.

                Originally posted by Azvanna View Post
                Shahaku, sorry you are having to make this incredibly difficult choice. It's really hard to be away from small children. It sounds like an amazing opportunity for you. I hope you find yourself at peace with whatever you do!
                I'm working hard to stay calm about it all and just take it in stride. I have a conference call scheduled for tomorrow with the owners. We'll see how it goes.
                We are what we are. Nothing more, nothing less. There is good and evil among every kind of people. It's the evil among us who rule now. -Anne Bishop, Daughter of the Blood

                I wondered if he could ever understand that it was a blessing, not a sin, to be graced with more than one love.
                It could be complicated; of course it could be complicated. And it opened one up to the possibility of more pain and loss.
                Still, it was a blessing I would never relinquish. Love, genuine love, was always a cause for joy.
                -Jacqueline Carey, Naamah's Curse

                Service to your fellows is the root of peace.

                Comment


                  Re: Whatcha thinking about now? (v2)

                  It has been a few days and I hope you are feeling a little better about your decision. It sounds like you have a solid plan to stay part of the family culture during this time, which is the important part. I suspect this is a different situation with this baby because you are already fully committed to the baby and the family. You have a good plan to stay involved, so when you are back full time you won't be starting from scratch as a newbie to the family. I know you know the right thing to do, and really don't need advice. I'm sure you will make things work however this turns oul.

                  Comment


                    Re: Whatcha thinking about now? (v2)

                    Originally posted by Prickly Pear View Post
                    It has been a few days and I hope you are feeling a little better about your decision. It sounds like you have a solid plan to stay part of the family culture during this time, which is the important part. I suspect this is a different situation with this baby because you are already fully committed to the baby and the family. You have a good plan to stay involved, so when you are back full time you won't be starting from scratch as a newbie to the family. I know you know the right thing to do, and really don't need advice. I'm sure you will make things work however this turns oul.
                    Thanks. I appreciate the support. I move on Nov 18. It's 7 hours from home.

                    If any of our membership is near Walker, Minnesota, that's where I'll be, and I'd love to match names to faces, if you're willing.
                    We are what we are. Nothing more, nothing less. There is good and evil among every kind of people. It's the evil among us who rule now. -Anne Bishop, Daughter of the Blood

                    I wondered if he could ever understand that it was a blessing, not a sin, to be graced with more than one love.
                    It could be complicated; of course it could be complicated. And it opened one up to the possibility of more pain and loss.
                    Still, it was a blessing I would never relinquish. Love, genuine love, was always a cause for joy.
                    -Jacqueline Carey, Naamah's Curse

                    Service to your fellows is the root of peace.

                    Comment


                      Re: Whatcha thinking about now? (v2)

                      Originally posted by Shahaku View Post
                      Thanks. I appreciate the support. I move on Nov 18. It's 7 hours from home.

                      If any of our membership is near Walker, Minnesota, that's where I'll be, and I'd love to match names to faces, if you're willing.

                      I'm a tad late to this, but I'm in Minnesota. A few hours south of where you're going, but if you want to chat to a local by all means send me a message. As a fellow graduate student nearing the end of the workload but facing that mountain of debt, I feel you.

                      This may be of little solace, but there is a lot of support to the concept that it's the quality of the time you spend with your children and family that matters, not the quantity. The time will go fast and that pay bump would get you and your family a well-deserved vacation to celebrate and make up for the time in the end.

                      Comment


                        Re: Whatcha thinking about now? (v2)

                        Originally posted by Willow View Post
                        I'm a tad late to this, but I'm in Minnesota. A few hours south of where you're going, but if you want to chat to a local by all means send me a message. As a fellow graduate student nearing the end of the workload but facing that mountain of debt, I feel you.

                        This may be of little solace, but there is a lot of support to the concept that it's the quality of the time you spend with your children and family that matters, not the quantity. The time will go fast and that pay bump would get you and your family a well-deserved vacation to celebrate and make up for the time in the end.
                        That would be awesome. We're hoping I'll have enough extra that I'll be able to take a month or two off between finishing school and and taking my boards / starting an internship. And that between that an taking out of retirement, we'll be able to afford to go to psg next summer, and Colorado next winter (2020/2021).
                        We are what we are. Nothing more, nothing less. There is good and evil among every kind of people. It's the evil among us who rule now. -Anne Bishop, Daughter of the Blood

                        I wondered if he could ever understand that it was a blessing, not a sin, to be graced with more than one love.
                        It could be complicated; of course it could be complicated. And it opened one up to the possibility of more pain and loss.
                        Still, it was a blessing I would never relinquish. Love, genuine love, was always a cause for joy.
                        -Jacqueline Carey, Naamah's Curse

                        Service to your fellows is the root of peace.

                        Comment


                          Re: Whatcha thinking about now? (v2)

                          Originally posted by Shahaku View Post
                          That would be awesome. We're hoping I'll have enough extra that I'll be able to take a month or two off between finishing school and and taking my boards / starting an internship. And that between that an taking out of retirement, we'll be able to afford to go to psg next summer, and Colorado next winter (2020/2021).
                          Yay! It helps to plan ahead and while I won't say clinicals / internships go quickly per say, they do end and when they do the sky is the limit and that freedom really is felt. It will all be worth it!

                          Comment


                            Re: Whatcha thinking about now? (v2)

                            I am thinking about the Uluru in Australia

                            Comment


                              Re: Whatcha thinking about now? (v2)

                              I just joined a neighborhood community thing called "nextdoor". Feels like a Facebook for local neighborhoods. I'm still on the fence about whether I like this. But I actually now know the names of my neighbors. I suppose that's something.
                              �Experience is what you get when you didn't get what you wanted. And experience is often the most valuable thing you have to offer.�
                              ― Randy Pausch, The Last Lecture
                              Sneak Attack
                              Avatar picture by the wonderful and talented TJSGrimm.

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                                Re: Whatcha thinking about now? (v2)

                                Originally posted by Dunkeld View Post
                                I am thinking about the Uluru in Australia
                                Originally posted by Juniper View Post
                                I just joined a neighborhood community thing called "nextdoor".

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