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  1. #1
    Magnificent Bastard ThorsSon's Avatar
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    Depression

    Some of y'all may know me... some of y'al may remember that I turned into a bit of an asshole after a while.

    I was in a dark place for a while.

    Do you ever go to bed liking you? Do you ever wake up liking you? In general, do you like you?

    I don't. I don't like me in the morning, in the evening, at noontime or suppertime. I just don't generally care for me. I'm pretty proud of the things I can do, I know, objectively, that I'm a heck of a guy... but I don't really like me. I don't really even think that I should keep wasting oxygen.

    I deal with this, I struggle with this... and I FIGHT every day with this.

    You know someone with depression, whether you know it or not. There is someone that you know and love that is hurting right now.

    Help them if you can.

    I've been diagnosed with depression and OCD, and I'm on medication and in therapy to help (I'm also in AA, and trying to make that work with my atheism).

    I've been mostly absent from PF because I was in a really dark place when I was last frequent here, and I know I made an ass of myself... I will probably continue to be a lurker for a while, but I thought I should say "hi"

    Also, I'm mostly OK right now, this is not a cry for help, but a PSA... I'm kinda down, but not in one of my darker moments. I just wanted to spread the word. I have love and support, but not everyone does.

    Be that love and support to someone if you can.
    Last edited by ThorsSon; 22 Jul 2018 at 00:10.
    "Don't ever miss a good opportunity to shut up." - Harvey Davis "Gramps"

  2. #2
    God in the baking Sean R. R.'s Avatar
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    Re: Depression

    Do feel like I might need that kind of love and support at the moment, TBH.

    You can't be a bad guy if you realize you're one (paradox?). Kudos for your courage when it comes to battling this kind of problems. It ain't easy, I at least know that.

    The best of luck to you, stay strong, stay hydrated.

    Check out my blog! The Daily Satanist

  3. #3
    Live and learn anunitu's Avatar
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    Re: Depression

    I have been down that dark hole,and came out changed and stripped of my anger at life and the jumble of existence.

    Hang in there.
    MAGIC is MAGIC,black OR white or even blood RED

    all i ever wanted was a normal life and love.
    NO TERF EVER WE belong Too.
    don't stop the tears.let them flood your soul.




    http://www.paganforum.com/image.php?type=sigpic&userid=186&dateline=1330020104

    my new page here,let me know what you think.


    nothing but the shadow of what was

  4. #4
    PF God-Empress Juniper's Avatar
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    Re: Depression

    Welcome back TS. It's been a minute. Always great to see you.
    “Experience is what you get when you didn't get what you wanted. And experience is often the most valuable thing you have to offer.”
    ― Randy Pausch, The Last Lecture
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    Avatar picture by the wonderful and talented TJSGrimm.

  5. #5

    Re: Depression

    Oh yeah. Depression is the gift that keeps on giving. And OCD is a twisted, nasty companion. They've been known to haunt our house as well. It is good to hear that you have some support. Wishing you continued strength and courage.

  6. #6
    Opinionated Rae'ya's Avatar
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    Re: Depression

    Welcome back, TS. I've been there, and I was a bit of an asshole while I was in that hole too. I'm lucky that my depresion was temporary and related to a situation that I was able to change... but I wouldn't wish that particular dark place on my worst enemy. And it has made me a pretty good 'love and support' person (at least Ithink so).

    Keep spreading the word. We all gotta look out for each other.

  7. #7
    bibliophibian volcaniclastic's Avatar
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    Re: Depression

    Heya buddy.

    Never for a minute thought you were a dick. Welcome back!
    “The world is big and I want to have a good look at it before it gets dark.” – John Muir

    Mostly art.

  8. #8
    PF Ordo Hereticus MaskedOne's Avatar
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    Re: Depression

    Welcome back!
    "It is not simply enough to know the light…a Jedi must feel the tension between the two sides of the Force…in himself and in the universe."
    ―Thon

    "When to the Force you truly give yourself, all you do expresses the truth of who you are,"

    Yoda

    Yoda told stories, and ate, and cried, and laughed: and the Padawans saw that life itself was a lightsaber in his hands; even in the face of treachery and death and hopes gone cold, he burned like a candle in the darkness. Like a star shining in the black eternity of space.

    Yoda: Dark Rendezvous

    "But those men who know anything at all about the Light also know that there is a fierceness to its power, like the bare sword of the law, or the white burning of the sun." Suddenly his voice sounded to Will very strong, and very Welsh. "At the very heart, that is. Other things, like humanity, and mercy, and charity, that most good men hold more precious than all else, they do not come first for the Light. Oh, sometimes they are there; often, indeed. But in the very long run the concern of you people is with the absolute good, ahead of all else..."

    John Rowlands, The Grey King by Susan Cooper

    "You come from the Lord Adam and the Lady Eve", said Aslan. "And that is both honour enough to erect the head of the poorest beggar, and shame enough to bow the shoulders of the greatest emperor on earth; be content."

    Aslan, Prince Caspian by CS Lewis



  9. #9
    Silver Member anubisa's Avatar
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    Re: Depression

    Welcome back! I understand what it means to have depression. I have to take meds for my depression. It's hard when you're really depressed. I hope you feel better soon though.
    Anubisa

    Dedicated and devoted to Lord Anubis and Lady Bast. A follower of the path of Egyptian Wicca.

    Reading is Love | Serenity Hutchinson (Online Resume)

  10. #10
    Live and learn anunitu's Avatar
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    Re: Depression

    I think sometimes,I am right on the edge of depression,another person that lived here,just died. He did go quickly,no lingering death,so I count him lucky. Living in an elder housing,low rent but people disappear from day to day. SO,I feel a bit depressed,most of the time. A friend from many years ago,he was in his 80's,and he said the bad part of living so long is having to see your friends go away. and being now myself kind of in that position,I agree with his take on seeing friends die,it eats at your heart.

    - - - Updated - - -

    This song by Leonard Cohen now runs in my head a lot.

    Who by Fire??


    - - - Updated - - -

    This is how I imagine the portal into eternity.

    MAGIC is MAGIC,black OR white or even blood RED

    all i ever wanted was a normal life and love.
    NO TERF EVER WE belong Too.
    don't stop the tears.let them flood your soul.




    http://www.paganforum.com/image.php?type=sigpic&userid=186&dateline=1330020104

    my new page here,let me know what you think.


    nothing but the shadow of what was

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