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Thread: Funeral Rites

  1. #1
    Apprentice of Doom Shahaku's Avatar
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    Funeral Rites

    A "traditional" funeral often includes several elements. A person is typically embalmed. There's a visitation where family comes to say goodbye and get that last look at their loved one. There is usually a funeral service that includes music, readings, a eulogy, and symbolism. There is typically a graveside committal where loved ones physically say goodbye in some way. Some place flowers in or on the grave, other take turns shoveling, etc. And there is typically some sort of gathering afterwards.

    Each of these elements has a purpose. They contribute to this hierarchy of needs that we have to have met to complete the grieving process. Accepting the reality of the death, recalling our loved one, finding support from our community, expressing our feeling for the deceased, finding meaning in their life and death, and transcending the experience.

    More and more people are going the route of direct cremation, and I can totally understand why. It's much more affordable, it's the only option that a lot of county assistance programs offer (if one is even available where you live), and sometimes people feel like they're cheating the funeral home instead of the funeral home cheating them. Honestly, I don't see anything wrong with cremation and avoiding the funeral home so long as you're making an effort to heal your grief and get those needs met in some other way.

    There are other options starting to pop up.

    Green burial is starting to rise. And so are death doulas. These movements encourage the family to hold visitations and services in their homes and to run them themselves. Even if that means everyone is uncomfortably packed together for a time. They teach people how to care for their own dead and provide the items or resources to find what they need to do so. And many states allow a family to set up a family cemetery on their own land, which could go on to serve your family for generations. Learning what your local laws are is really important.

    Green burial cemeteries are also a rising thing. They provide a place for a person to be buried naturally, outside of a tomb, typically in a shroud, but sometimes in an alternative biodegradable container or urn if they chose to be cremated.

    Those who have chosen to be cremated can have their ashes feed a tree and thus become a tree. You can also have your ashes spread in space for something like $2500. And many people are choosing to have their loved ones ashes mixed into glass trinkets.

    When it comes to planning for your own death, I think it's important to remember those left behind. Almost everyone I know says they just want to be cremated, and not to do anything else. But that takes away from the time and support that the family gets through having some sort of funeral service.

    So, all of that being said. If you could go all out, what would you want your funeral to look like? Or if that's too personal, if you had to run a funeral for someone in your faith, what would you want it to look like? What traditions or rites would you pull from? What music would you want included? What quotes or readings? Would you want any symbols (like a pentagram, etc) placed with you? Are you a part of any military or fraternal organizations? Would you want an aspect of that included in your funeral or not?
    We are what we are. Nothing more, nothing less. There is good and evil among every kind of people. It's the evil among us who rule now. -Anne Bishop, Daughter of the Blood

    I wondered if he could ever understand that it was a blessing, not a sin, to be graced with more than one love.
    It could be complicated; of course it could be complicated. And it opened one up to the possibility of more pain and loss.
    Still, it was a blessing I would never relinquish. Love, genuine love, was always a cause for joy.
    -Jacqueline Carey, Naamah's Curse

    Service to your fellows is the root of peace.

  2. #2
    Live and learn anunitu's Avatar
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    Re: Funeral Rites

    when i go i want someone like you to handle my demise so i can depart to the stars

    - - - Updated - - -

    i would want a prayer to the goddess to accept my spirit
    MAGIC is MAGIC,black OR white or even blood RED

    all i ever wanted was a normal life and love.
    NO TERF EVER WE belong Too.
    don't stop the tears.let them flood your soul.




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    Re: Funeral Rites

    I'd go for a sky burial. If it was legal.

  4. #4
    Live and learn anunitu's Avatar
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    Re: Funeral Rites

    you mean on a raised pallet?

    - - - Updated - - -

    you mean open to the sky and nature?
    MAGIC is MAGIC,black OR white or even blood RED

    all i ever wanted was a normal life and love.
    NO TERF EVER WE belong Too.
    don't stop the tears.let them flood your soul.




    http://www.paganforum.com/image.php?type=sigpic&userid=186&dateline=1330020104

    my new page here,let me know what you think.


    nothing but the shadow of what was

    witchvox
    http://www.witchvox.com/vu/vxposts.html

  5. #5
    God in the baking Sean R. R.'s Avatar
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    Re: Funeral Rites

    While I do believe the soul transcends the body, the body deserves respect and consideration for carrying out our every whim. It is the tool of our Will.

    I'd like it to be a show, a performance of sorts. A scene, my body inside a wooden effigy representing my biggest achievements. Fire would be set to it, and the flames rising high up, elevating my feats into the sky, spreading the ashes of my actions in the wind.

    Check out my blog! The Daily Satanist

  6. #6
    Live and learn anunitu's Avatar
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    Re: Funeral Rites

    I like that sean very nice not crying really celebrating your accent,I like it YES.

    - - - Updated - - -

    i found an alternative to twitter
    MAGIC is MAGIC,black OR white or even blood RED

    all i ever wanted was a normal life and love.
    NO TERF EVER WE belong Too.
    don't stop the tears.let them flood your soul.




    http://www.paganforum.com/image.php?type=sigpic&userid=186&dateline=1330020104

    my new page here,let me know what you think.


    nothing but the shadow of what was

    witchvox
    http://www.witchvox.com/vu/vxposts.html

  7. #7
    Apprentice of Doom Shahaku's Avatar
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    Re: Funeral Rites

    Quote Originally Posted by SeanRave View Post
    While I do believe the soul transcends the body, the body deserves respect and consideration for carrying out our every whim. It is the tool of our Will.

    I'd like it to be a show, a performance of sorts. A scene, my body inside a wooden effigy representing my biggest achievements. Fire would be set to it, and the flames rising high up, elevating my feats into the sky, spreading the ashes of my actions in the wind.
    What would you want done with your bones? I doubt that they would burn. Just curious. I've thought about requesting that my bones not be processed, in case a family member would like to have them intact. I know there were traditions where knuckle bones were used for divination for instance.

    Quote Originally Posted by prometheus View Post
    I'd go for a sky burial. If it was legal.
    I've always found the idea of sky burial somewhat compelling, though slightly disturbing. I heard about in college, and it makes sense seeing as they can't bury their dead since the ground is frozen. And your body goes to the cycle of nature by feeding vultures/etc. But it's still one of the more morbid funeral rites I've learned about.
    We are what we are. Nothing more, nothing less. There is good and evil among every kind of people. It's the evil among us who rule now. -Anne Bishop, Daughter of the Blood

    I wondered if he could ever understand that it was a blessing, not a sin, to be graced with more than one love.
    It could be complicated; of course it could be complicated. And it opened one up to the possibility of more pain and loss.
    Still, it was a blessing I would never relinquish. Love, genuine love, was always a cause for joy.
    -Jacqueline Carey, Naamah's Curse

    Service to your fellows is the root of peace.

  8. #8
    God in the baking Sean R. R.'s Avatar
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    Re: Funeral Rites

    Quote Originally Posted by Shahaku View Post
    What would you want done with your bones? I doubt that they would burn. Just curious.
    Wait. They wouldn't?
    Oh. I didn't think of that possibility. Even in very big burning wooden structure that would burn for some time? Well in that case, once the show's over I guess my family (or close friends if I have no family at the time) can just take them and bury them or cremate them.

    But none of this is legal in France.

    Check out my blog! The Daily Satanist

  9. #9
    Live and learn anunitu's Avatar
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    Re: Funeral Rites

    i would like my bones to be carved into a magic wand or handle for a ritual knife,perhaps not legal,but you known and roll those bones yes.
    MAGIC is MAGIC,black OR white or even blood RED

    all i ever wanted was a normal life and love.
    NO TERF EVER WE belong Too.
    don't stop the tears.let them flood your soul.




    http://www.paganforum.com/image.php?type=sigpic&userid=186&dateline=1330020104

    my new page here,let me know what you think.


    nothing but the shadow of what was

    witchvox
    http://www.witchvox.com/vu/vxposts.html

  10. #10
    Apprentice of Doom Shahaku's Avatar
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    Re: Funeral Rites

    Quote Originally Posted by SeanRave View Post
    Wait. They wouldn't?
    Oh. I didn't think of that possibility. Even in very big burning wooden structure that would burn for some time? Well in that case, once the show's over I guess my family (or close friends if I have no family at the time) can just take them and bury them or cremate them.

    But none of this is legal in France.
    Even in the extreme temps of a retort (the kiln type device used for cemations) whats left is bone shards made of calcium deposits that won't burn that are then processed. Once the bone shards are put through a grinder, what's left is "ashes". There's a movement among funeral directors to stop referring to them as ashes because it's misleading. Cremated human remains is the term they're encouraging us to use.

    And while it may not be legal, it's still a good mental exercise to think about, IMO.

    Quote Originally Posted by anunitu View Post
    i would like my bones to be carved into a magic wand or handle for a ritual knife,perhaps not legal,but you known and roll those bones yes.
    That would be interesting. Whoever had the knife/wand/etc would have to carry a burial transit permit with them anywhere they went.
    We are what we are. Nothing more, nothing less. There is good and evil among every kind of people. It's the evil among us who rule now. -Anne Bishop, Daughter of the Blood

    I wondered if he could ever understand that it was a blessing, not a sin, to be graced with more than one love.
    It could be complicated; of course it could be complicated. And it opened one up to the possibility of more pain and loss.
    Still, it was a blessing I would never relinquish. Love, genuine love, was always a cause for joy.
    -Jacqueline Carey, Naamah's Curse

    Service to your fellows is the root of peace.

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