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Thread: To smack or not to smack?

  1. #11
    Bronze Member Bartmanhomer's Avatar
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    Re: To smack or not to smack?

    This topic is definitely belong to debate. This is just my opinion I think spanking should be illegal because it's child abuse.

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    Silver Member monsno_leedra's Avatar
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    Re: To smack or not to smack?

    Quote Originally Posted by B. de Corbin View Post
    A. Let the kid do anything
    B. Smack the kid

    These are the only two options you see?

    Fallacy of the excluded middle.
    Ah, please show me where I said beating or spanking is the only option, I said speaking to them is not going to cut it. Discipline is a broad spectrum and ranges from physical (not bodily harm) to discussion when it is applicable. Never said physical is a first resort nor said that it is the only resort. But I am not foolish enough to presume that trying to talk is the only resort either.
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    Supporter Hawkfeathers's Avatar
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    Re: To smack or not to smack?

    There are some kids who let things roll off them, and some who internalize everything. Parents "should" know the difference, in a perfect world, but that's not the case. It's easy to say "I was spanked and I turned out fine", but you may not be fine at all. I was a kid who NEVER should have been hit. I stopped trusting my parents very early in life. They weren't "abusive" by any stretch. I was extremely sensitive and highly anxious. They didn't see that. They had no idea what was going on in my little head.
    So, I'm pretty much against it. It's one of those things where it's best to err on the side of caution.

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  4. #14
    The Gaze of the Abyss B. de Corbin's Avatar
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    Re: To smack or not to smack?

    Quote Originally Posted by monsno_leedra View Post
    Ah, please show me where I said beating or spanking is the only option, I said speaking to them is not going to cut it. Discipline is a broad spectrum and ranges from physical (not bodily harm) to discussion when it is applicable. Never said physical is a first resort nor said that it is the only resort. But I am not foolish enough to presume that trying to talk is the only resort either.
    I quoted you in the post. But, to be clear, in the context of this discussion (to smack or not to smack), the only other possibility you described is ineffectual speaking. So - talking that does nothing doesn't work allowing children to run wild (beat dogs to death, deck a parent), leaving smacking as the only other option.

    But I accept the clarification - smacking is a last resort, when all else fails.
    Last edited by B. de Corbin; 25 Mar 2019 at 16:26.
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  5. #15

    Re: To smack or not to smack?

    There's also numerous studies that claim evidence in SUPPORT of spanking. (Just googled it because I was curious about what you said; the scientific community is effectively split on the issue.)

    How you discipline your kids is your choice; how I discipline my own kids is my choice. Either way, the government should stay out of both of our business in that regard. There's a big difference between discipline and child abuse; a lot of people seem to fail at making that distinction.

    All I can say is that I've seen how effective spankings can be at getting results. Granted, it definitely shouldn't be the one and only form of discipline, but it shouldn't be banned by the Government either; they've already made criminals out of every single one of us as it is. (At least in America; we have mountains and mountains of thousands of pages of laws, so much so that it's effectively impossible to be able to follow every single one of them....and there's studies to prove it hahaha. )

  6. #16
    Sr. Member faye_cat's Avatar
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    Re: To smack or not to smack?

    Can you link to those studies?

    The thing is, not many parents/guardians know where that line is. You yourself said you overreacted with your niece, which means you crossed that line---so why is it okay?
    “I am Cat and I walk alone and all ways are the same to me.” ~Rudyard Kipling, The Cat Who Walks By Himself

  7. #17

    Re: To smack or not to smack?

    Quote Originally Posted by B. de Corbin View Post
    smacking is a last resort, when all else fails.
    I think I might disagree with that; MOST of the time it should be a last resort, but other times it should be the first thing you do so that the child knows how seriously bad what they just did was, like with the story of my niece almost drowning to death because she wandered away from her mother and nearly a mile away from home. She could barely speak english; spanking was the only thing I knew to do that would make her realize how huge of a mistake she'd just made. And it worked; she never ran away again after that; she even asks permission to go outside. She's turning out to be a little angel; excellent manners and respect for her elders, plays well with her friends, has a helpful spirit; the whole works.

    Haha, and almost EVERY single kid I've met whose parents refused to spank them turned out to be a spoiled little brat; I've been CUSSED OUT at by a five year old, (my cousin's daughter), I leapt out of my seat to spank her and she FREAKED OUT, and continued to cuss me out while saying her mommy was going to kill me if I spanked her. I was in charge of her at the time though, so I managed to wrestle her into position, having to lock her legs between my legs because she was trying to kick, scratch, and BITE me, (I have never seen such a monster of a child before or since haha), after I spanked her about twenty times, (until the swear words stopped coming out of her mouth hahaha), I sent her to her room for her to pull herself together.

    Her mother absolutely came unglued on me when she'd found out I spanked her daughter for disrespecting me. Funnily enough though, I NEVER had any problems from her whenever I had to babysit her in the future, and her and I became best friends. And she NEVER swears at me haha. And my cousin eventually got over it as well; saying her daughter had really turned her attitude around after spending time with me.
    Last edited by Sollomyn; 25 Mar 2019 at 16:45.

  8. #18
    Sr. Member faye_cat's Avatar
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    Re: To smack or not to smack?

    Sollomyn I don't know if you know where the line is.
    “I am Cat and I walk alone and all ways are the same to me.” ~Rudyard Kipling, The Cat Who Walks By Himself

  9. #19

    Re: To smack or not to smack?

    Quote Originally Posted by faye_cat View Post
    Can you link to those studies?
    I didn't actually read them all; I just did a google search and skimmed through the pages enough to determine that there were plenty of studies in BOTH arenas.

    Here's one haha: https://goodparent.org/corporal-puni...nary-spanking/

    There's plenty more where that came from just like there's plenty more studies saying the opposite. My point is that studies are pointless in this regard because there's too many variables and too many people who are biased one way or the other.

    Quote Originally Posted by faye_cat View Post
    You yourself said you overreacted with your niece, which means you crossed that line---so why is it okay?
    I'm pretty sure I already said why it's okay; my niece never ran away and nearly got herself killed ever again hahaha. Clearly it worked at preventing another episode like that, perhaps one where I didn't make it to the pond in time and had to fish out her cute, limp, lifeless body instead.

    Quote Originally Posted by faye_cat View Post
    Sollomyn I don't know if you know where the line is.
    I have my own line; no bruising, no blood, no contusions, and no permanent injury.

    So far I've never crossed it.
    Last edited by Sollomyn; 25 Mar 2019 at 16:59.

  10. #20
    Sr. Member faye_cat's Avatar
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    Re: To smack or not to smack?

    From the article you linked:
    The two-swat spank procedure was found to be the most effective, most preferred and most practical of all measures tested.
    So you think that 15-20 squats for disrespect is not abuse, but discipline? Especially after having to essentially bodily hold down a 5 year old? That doesn't seem a bit less like discipline and more like something that could leave lasting effects--negative, psychological effects--on a child? Please tell me, where's the line between discipline and abuse. Is it not having the kid die? Is it having the kid never repeat the behavior? Because abused kids don't always die during a beating, and they do their best not to repeat the behavior...

    Are parents the only ones allowed to determine that line? IS a babysitter or teacher allowed to use their own judgement on where the line is---regardless of what the parent wants?

    Is abuse justified to keep someone from dying? If studies are pointless then why even have a debate, because opinions are pointless,hm? Also the study you linked is from at least 2005 referencing studies even older--not all studies are created equal. So where's the line between abuse and discipline, between educating your child and forcing your child to obey.

    I have my own line; no bruising, no blood, no contusions, and no permanent injury.
    20 whacks wouldn't bruise? and do you count physical or mental or emotional injury, or just physical?
    Last edited by faye_cat; 25 Mar 2019 at 17:07.
    “I am Cat and I walk alone and all ways are the same to me.” ~Rudyard Kipling, The Cat Who Walks By Himself

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