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Thread: I Feel Like I Should Unfriended My Mentally Unstable Friend On Facebook

  1. #1
    Bronze Member Bartmanhomer's Avatar
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    I Feel Like I Should Unfriended My Mentally Unstable Friend On Facebook

    Ok, here the story. I know this guy at my old childhood school. He's into cosplay and he always goes through drama about his girlfriend and all crazy stuff. This isn't the first time it happens. He went to his mental breakdown by committing suicide and the cops were at his house. Which leads to deactivating his Facebook account. A few months later he reactivated his Facebook and got help. Things were turning out great until this morning before work I saw his Facebook post about his mother hating him and saw. I was very supported of him and he was angry at me for being supported. Then later that day he wanted me to call him on Facebook. I just realized that this guy didn't even want me to supported and he just a psycho and wants ulterior motives. I also feel like he really needs serious help and I feel like it was a waste of time putting up with this BS no matter how many times I was being supported to him. So what do you think? Should I continue being friends with him or dump him and move on.

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    Silver Member anubisa's Avatar
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    Re: I Feel Like I Should Unfriended My Mentally Unstable Friend On Facebook

    He sounds like he is going through a really rough time. When people are going through rough times they tend to snap at those closest to them. They need support. He might have been trying to reach out to you because he wanted to apologize. I might see how it goes for a little while longer and if he still is acting like he has been and not respecting you trying to reach out and helping you then cut ties respectfully. You never know when you will see him again.
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    Bronze Member Bartmanhomer's Avatar
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    Re: I Feel Like I Should Unfriended My Mentally Unstable Friend On Facebook

    Quote Originally Posted by anubisa View Post
    He sounds like he is going through a really rough time. When people are going through rough times they tend to snap at those closest to them. They need support. He might have been trying to reach out to you because he wanted to apologize. I might see how it goes for a little while longer and if he still is acting like he has been and not respecting you trying to reach out and helping you then cut ties respectfully. You never know when you will see him again.
    I know that. I always supported him but I just feel that all that support is being wasted.

  4. #4

    Re: I Feel Like I Should Unfriended My Mentally Unstable Friend On Facebook

    BH,

    Friendships and other relationships with depressed people are extremely difficult sometimes. I can't tell you to hang in there with your friend, because I don't know all of the ins and outs of the friendship, and I don't know how much of your own emotional resources you have left. If you need a break, take a break. Maybe your friend is toxic enough to make it a permanent break. You have to decide for yourself how you feel about that. But do remember that when people are not mentally healthy they sometimes act in ways that they wouldn't otherwise. If this is just a temporary kind of bad friend behavior, you may want to cut him some slack. If it is a consistent pattern than consider a more permanent break- you don't need to stay in a friendship that is harmful to you.

    Also, just a tip that I have found useful. When someone I care about is really showing their mental illness, I try to separate times when the real person is talking to me and and times when the illness is talking to me or acting out. Sometimes it can feel like the illness talks most of the time, but usually the times when I am talking to the real person start to become most of the time. Making a distinction helps me have patience when the illness is dominating. If you have never or almost never seen or talked to the "real" friend, then maybe this friendship is asking too much of you. If the '"real" friend has just temporarily disappeared, then maybe it is worth finding your patience.

    - - - Updated - - -

    BH,

    Friendships and other relationships with depressed people are extremely difficult sometimes. I can't tell you to hang in there with your friend, because I don't know all of the ins and outs of the friendship, and I don't know how much of your own emotional resources you have left. If you need a break, take a break. Maybe your friend is toxic enough to make it a permanent break. You have to decide for yourself how you feel about that. But do remember that when people are not mentally healthy they sometimes act in ways that they wouldn't otherwise. If this is just a temporary kind of bad friend behavior, you may want to cut him some slack. If it is a consistent pattern than consider a more permanent break- you don't need to stay in a friendship that is harmful to you.

    Also, just a tip that I have found useful. When someone I care about is really showing their mental illness, I try to separate times when the real person is talking to me and and times when the illness is talking to me or acting out. Sometimes it can feel like the illness talks most of the time, but usually the times when I am talking to the real person start to become most of the time. Making a distinction helps me have patience when the illness is dominating. If you have never or almost never seen or talked to the "real" friend, then maybe this friendship is asking too much of you. If the '"real" friend has just temporarily disappeared, then maybe it is worth finding your patience.

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    Bronze Member Bartmanhomer's Avatar
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    Re: I Feel Like I Should Unfriended My Mentally Unstable Friend On Facebook

    Quote Originally Posted by Prickly Pear View Post
    BH,

    Friendships and other relationships with depressed people are extremely difficult sometimes. I can't tell you to hang in there with your friend, because I don't know all of the ins and outs of the friendship, and I don't know how much of your own emotional resources you have left. If you need a break, take a break. Maybe your friend is toxic enough to make it a permanent break. You have to decide for yourself how you feel about that. But do remember that when people are not mentally healthy they sometimes act in ways that they wouldn't otherwise. If this is just a temporary kind of bad friend behavior, you may want to cut him some slack. If it is a consistent pattern than consider a more permanent break- you don't need to stay in a friendship that is harmful to you.

    Also, just a tip that I have found useful. When someone I care about is really showing their mental illness, I try to separate times when the real person is talking to me and times when the illness is talking to me or acting out. Sometimes it can feel like the illness talks most of the time, but usually, the times when I am talking to the real person start to become most of the time. Making a distinction helps me to have patience when the illness is dominating. If you have never or almost never seen or talked to the "real" friend, then maybe this friendship is asking too much of you. If the '"real" friend has just temporarily disappeared, then maybe it is worth finding your patience.

    - - - Updated - - -

    BH,

    Friendships and other relationships with depressed people are extremely difficult sometimes. I can't tell you to hang in there with your friend, because I don't know all of the ins and outs of the friendship, and I don't know how much of your own emotional resources you have left. If you need a break, take a break. Maybe your friend is toxic enough to make it a permanent break. You have to decide for yourself how you feel about that. But do remember that when people are not mentally healthy they sometimes act in ways that they wouldn't otherwise. If this is just a temporary kind of bad friend behavior, you may want to cut him some slack. If it is a consistent pattern than consider a more permanent break- you don't need to stay in a friendship that is harmful to you.

    Also, just a tip that I have found useful. When someone I care about is really showing their mental illness, I try to separate times when the real person is talking to me and times when the illness is talking to me or acting out. Sometimes it can feel like the illness talks most of the time, but usually, the times when I am talking to the real person start to become most of the time. Making a distinction helps me to have patience when the illness is dominating. If you have never or almost never seen or talked to the "real" friend, then maybe this friendship is asking too much of you. If the '"real" friend has just temporarily disappeared, then maybe it is worth finding your patience.
    I understand that and I'm a very compassionate person but when a person who's very unstable and want to push you away from getting any support from them, you really need to ask yourself should I continue being friends with that person? If yes, there you should continue being friends with that person. If not, then it time to cut off your friendship with that person and move on.

  6. #6

    Re: I Feel Like I Should Unfriended My Mentally Unstable Friend On Facebook

    Yes. You cannot save them. They have to decide to help themselves.You just have to decide if they are worth some extra effort. If they consistently push you away, maybe it is time to let go.

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    Bronze Member Bartmanhomer's Avatar
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    Re: I Feel Like I Should Unfriended My Mentally Unstable Friend On Facebook

    Quote Originally Posted by Prickly Pear View Post
    Yes. You cannot save them. They have to decide to help themselves. You just have to decide if they are worth some extra effort. If they consistently push you away, maybe it is time to let go.
    Exactly and I'm not being a jerk about cutting my friendship out with unstable people. If they're pushing me away multiple times then I'm done with them. And I'm not sorry for cutting my friendship off for them.

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    Supporter Torey's Avatar
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    Re: I Feel Like I Should Unfriended My Mentally Unstable Friend On Facebook

    I don't really know the full context of your relationship or what has happened, but the way that I approach such things is with boundaries. You must set boundaries in your life - and if someone crosses those boundaries or uses you, it's a matter of weighing the value of that relationship and what you are willing to put up with and for how long.
    Last edited by Torey; 06 Apr 2019 at 20:55.

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    Moderator Azvanna's Avatar
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    Re: I Feel Like I Should Unfriended My Mentally Unstable Friend On Facebook

    Have you considered just blocking him? As in, don't unfriend him, just block? That way, you can't see what he writes but he won't get that feeling of being dumped.

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    Bronze Member Bartmanhomer's Avatar
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    Re: I Feel Like I Should Unfriended My Mentally Unstable Friend On Facebook

    Quote Originally Posted by Torey View Post
    I don't really know the full context of your relationship or what has happened, but the way that I approach such things is with boundaries. You must set boundaries in your life - and if someone crosses those boundaries or uses you, it's a matter of weighing the value of that relationship and what you are willing to put up with and for how long.
    Ad I mentioned before he's a friend from my childhood school.
    Quote Originally Posted by Azvanna View Post
    Have you considered just blocking him? As in, don't unfriend him, just block? That way, you can't see what he writes but he won't get that feeling of being dumped.
    Yes, I've thought about it long and hard. It's better than unfriend him.
    Last edited by Bartmanhomer; 07 Apr 2019 at 06:13.

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