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Thread: Respect

  1. #1
    Silver Member anubisa's Avatar
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    Respect

    I had a lady call me the other day at work and she told me that she went to one of the rudest AE stores. There were a lot of teenagers working there (nothing against them) and they just seemed extremely disrespectful to her. When she called she was extremely angry. By the time I ended the call she was very happy because I gave her 20% off her purchase of a dress and 2-day shipping. Best call I have ever done so far.

    So why am I posting this? Well I have noticed that it seems like nobody shows respect to anyone anymore. Yesterday I went to get my hair cut at Walmart and parked my buggy if front of the hair place. Right after I finished I came out and found the buggy was stolen. Also it's like if you accidentally step in front of someone in the grocery, they don't say excuse me, you have to. I was raised in the 80s. I was taught to say 'yes mam, no mam, yes sir, no sir, etc...' Why is it that nowadays this has not passed on to our children? Or even people my age are seeming to forget their manners. I'm sick of it. People need to teach their children right and I know some of you may say that I don't know anything because I'm not a mother. However, I raised my nephew practically and have taught him his manners and still bitch (not really bitch) at him when he is disrespectful. What do you all think? I just want an opinion.
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    Bronze Member Bartmanhomer's Avatar
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    Re: Respect

    Quote Originally Posted by anubisa View Post
    I had a lady call me the other day at work and she told me that she went to one of the rudest AE stores. There were a lot of teenagers working there (nothing against them) and they just seemed extremely disrespectful to her. When she called she was extremely angry. By the time I ended the call she was very happy because I gave her 20% off her purchase of a dress and 2-day shipping. Best call I have ever done so far.

    So why am I posting this? Well I have noticed that it seems like nobody shows respect to anyone anymore. Yesterday I went to get my hair cut at Walmart and parked my buggy if front of the hair place. Right after I finished I came out and found the buggy was stolen. Also it's like if you accidentally step in front of someone in the grocery, they don't say excuse me, you have to. I was raised in the 80s. I was taught to say 'yes mam, no mam, yes sir, no sir, etc...' Why is it that nowadays this has not passed on to our children? Or even people my age are seeming to forget their manners. I'm sick of it. People need to teach their children right and I know some of you may say that I don't know anything because I'm not a mother. However, I raised my nephew practically and have taught him his manners and still bitch (not really bitch) at him when he is disrespectful. What do you all think? I just want an opinion.
    People are very disrespectful nowadays especially in this time. I've mention this to in another thread about that I have to deal with a rude caller at my receptionist job not so long ago. But I remain professional and handled it very well. I guess you can kill them with kindness.

  3. #3
    Sr. Member Eleanor's Avatar
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    Re: Respect

    Yeah, it's not just your feeling that people seem more disrespectfull these days. It's a fact. It makes for especially dangerous situations on the road as well. People just try to push you out of the way with their cars when going 120 km an hour...

    In the Netherlands we have this organization who addresses societal subjects like this. Recently they came up with a hashtag: #DoeEsLief, meaning something like #BeKind. So you could use that against rude people on the internet, or just say it whenever someone in public is being rude to you. Just a friendly reminder that people need to chill and not get so grumpy and rude so fast over nothing.
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    God in the baking Sean R. R.'s Avatar
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    Re: Respect

    Quote Originally Posted by anubisa View Post
    By the time I ended the call she was very happy because I gave her 20% off her purchase of a dress and 2-day shipping.
    I'd be happy, too.

    Quote Originally Posted by anubisa View Post
    I was taught to say 'yes mam, no mam, yes sir, no sir, etc...' Why is it that nowadays this has not passed on to our children?
    Maybe what we/they consider "good manners" and "respect" have changed over time. Maybe the "yes mam, no sir" is no longer the paradigm of respect of where you live, but an archaic construct that is obsolete for the younger generation.

    Quote Originally Posted by anubisa View Post
    Or even people my age are seeming to forget their manners.
    Or maybe they have moved on from their ways, and adapted to the current time by changing the way they communicate.

    Quote Originally Posted by anubisa View Post
    People need to teach their children right
    But what is right? Your ways? Their ways? How do you feel more 'respected' by being addressed as "mam"? Maybe people of the younger generation are not inclined to those 'manners' for they bear no meaning for them.

    Quote Originally Posted by anubisa View Post
    I raised my nephew practically and have taught him his manners and still bitch (not really bitch) at him when he is disrespectful.
    Is he really being disrespectful? Or are you simply imposing unto him your own notion of respect?

    Quote Originally Posted by anubisa View Post
    What do you all think? I just want an opinion.
    I personally think the way we communicate is changing a lot with the advent of the internet. There are no longer needs for introductions, our usernames and avatars do that for us. We favor a more direct approach of information and as such have eliminated formulaic sentences and expressions that nowadays only cause clutter in the bulk of information. Because of instant messaging, we no longer have need for Hellos and Byes, as the connection and conversation is never really interrupted between individuals. We now juggle several social interactions simultaneously which has brought the need to condense our messages further and further, so we are able to effectively maintain clear and easy-to-understand conversations with many people so as to being able to quickly re-read some of the previous messages to get ourselves into context.

    And this way-of-doing of the internet it's transitioning to our face-to-face interactions. We don't have time for politeness, and we've realized that even if it might sound "nice" (as we were taught, and therefore conditioned, to perceive it as nice), formulas of "respect", don't really add anything to the conversation other than point out perceived social status, and quite honestly I don't understand how not using those formulas is a sign of disrespect other than the ingrained idea that a formulaic expression devoid of real meaning is somehow something that constitutes respect. Also, I've noticed that respect is no longer owed, but rather gained, in today's social interactions. What we consider today to be the bare minimum amount of respect, is simply not going out of our way to disrespect. But any apologies are to be deserved.

    Personally, outside of a professional context, where many rules and formulas of politeness still bear true and stand (somewhat) strong, I don't really use any "polite" formulas. But I do smile. It's a way to convey sympathy without cluttering the air with meaningless words.

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    Supporter kalynraye's Avatar
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    Re: Respect

    I'm from the south and have moved to the far North. I have been yelled at and screamed at by customers for calling them ma'am and sir. Because here that's a sign of age not respect. In fact one of the V.P.'s of the company yells at me regularly for calling him sir: "That's my father, not me, I'm just Shawn". Every region is culturally different and what is considered respectful for some in not for others.

    Being respectful doesn't necessarily mean saying ma'am and sir. Also not everyone deserves respect, respect like trust needs to be earned. People assume, and by people I am talking older generations, I am a millennial, that because they are older that they automatically deserve the respect of younger people, and I don't agree with that.

    This little blib does a fantastic job of explaining the difference in thank you/no problem. https://didyouknowfacts.com/why-youn...eople-hate-it/
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  6. #6
    PF Ordo Hereticus MaskedOne's Avatar
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    Re: Respect

    https://proto-knowledge.blogspot.com...today.html?m=1

    I fully expect that new generations will meet the approval of the older generations some time right after an asteroid kills us all. Having issues with the manners of the young is a tradition older than most existing countries let alone any of us.

    Other than that, if you are looking for respectful behavior in a retail environment then you probably are looking in the wrong place. Retail environments attract

    A. Illiterate ("Sir, this coupon doesn't work here. It lists the stores that accept it on the back."), idiotic (if you are carrying a smartphone in your pocket with a built in calculator and they all have a built in calculator, you do not need me to do mental math to work out your pricing), entitled ("No sir, we do not give extra discounts just because you are from out of town."), irresponsible (really, if you remember that you're a parent before your child kicks part a $500 chess set 30 feet then I won't ban your little demonspawn from my board) locusts who destroy (take a closing shift at a major clothing store on Black Friday) everything in their path. Individual represenatives of the plague described here are known as customers. It is not a term of endearment.

    B. The jaded, poorly paid staff who by company policy have to pretend that the individuals in category A are deserving of the title of human being.

    If you walk into an environment populated by the above two classes of individual looking for courteous and respectful behavior, I'm not sure I can help you. I mean yes, the staff is paid (badly) to be polite but they also view you as a customer until you prove yourself interesting in some way and not all retail staff are equally capable liars.
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  7. #7
    Supporter Hawkfeathers's Avatar
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    Re: Respect

    I was raised pretty strictly and in a culture of "When you're older, people will do these things for you" (such as giving up a seat on the bus, helping with yardwork, etc.) They don't. I spent a lot of time being seen and not heard, doing favors, helping out, etc., and it didn't come back at all. I think it was all a big scam!

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    Sleepy Optimistic discord's Avatar
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    Re: Respect

    What a lot of people tend to not realise is that many of the previous generations ideas of acceptable manners/behaviour all ultimately stem from two things.
    War and class.

    If we just look at the late 1800s and early 1900s as an example you can clearly see the impact of tye ongoing militarisation of society.

    This really kicked off in the UK post the Great War, when when social reform encouraged a military style of society and education, and despite many social problems of the time, reinforced the class structure.

    - - - Updated - - -

    but then I think that many people underestimate how much we are still affected by the two world wars to this day, or how long it takes for society to heal. This is evidenced by the growing belief that because a law was passed, then something is not a problem, or if it happened a while ago, it's not having an impact today.

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    The Gaze of the Abyss B. de Corbin's Avatar
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    Re: Respect

    Anyone who considers protocol unimportant has never dealt with a cat. Robert A. Heinlein

    For me, politeness is a sine qua non of civilization. Robert A. Heinlein

    Never insult anyone by accident. Robert A. Heinlein

    “Moving parts in rubbing contact require lubrication to avoid excessive wear. Honorifics and formal politeness provide lubrication where people rub together. Often the very young, the untravelled, the naive, the unsophisticated deplore these formalities as "empty," "meaningless," or "dishonest," and scorn to use them. No matter how "pure" their motives, they thereby throw sand into machinery that does not work too well at best.”Robert Heinlein

    An armed society is a polite society. Manners are good when one may have to back up his acts with his life. Robert A. Heinlein

    Having a set of rituals when dealing with others is a part of every social animal's normal behavior. Humans call these rituals "manners." These sets of manners - which differ from one culture to another - constitute a significant part of what we call "culture" and "society." It is the acceptance and use of these socially accepted norms that allow a diverse population to live in close proximity, without killing eachother more than is absolutely necessary. If large portions of society reject these socially negotiated norms of polite society, people - just as animals do - will use force to ensure they are not treated badly. B. de Corbin
    Last edited by B. de Corbin; 05 Apr 2019 at 13:36.
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  10. #10
    Silver Member anubisa's Avatar
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    Re: Respect

    Respect is earned. You are not automatically assigned it. The famous golden rule applies in my opinion. Treat others as you would want to be treated. I appreciate everyone's opinions. Thank you for your replies.
    Anubisa

    Dedicated and devoted to Lord Anubis and Lady Bast. A follower of the path of Egyptian Wicca.

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