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Thread: Respect

  1. #21
    sea witch thalassa's Avatar
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    Re: Respect

    Quote Originally Posted by anubisa View Post
    So why am I posting this? Well I have noticed that it seems like nobody shows respect to anyone anymore. Yesterday I went to get my hair cut at Walmart and parked my buggy if front of the hair place. Right after I finished I came out and found the buggy was stolen.
    Was there stuff in it? Because the hair cut places at any Walmart I've been in are in the front, and any empty cart in the front without a nearby person is fair game--the chance that someone dumped it there is more likely than the chance that someone is coming back to get it if its empty.

    Also it's like if you accidentally step in front of someone in the grocery, they don't say excuse me, you have to. I was raised in the 80s. I was taught to say 'yes mam, no mam, yes sir, no sir, etc...' Why is it that nowadays this has not passed on to our children? Or even people my age are seeming to forget their manners. I'm sick of it.
    I was raised in the 80s as well. I would never say excuse me to someone that stepped in front of me, that's their fault for not watching where they were going. Now, I'd say it to someone I stepped in front of or went around, that that's because I'm intentionally getting in their way.

    Ma'am and sir-ing people was not part of etiquette where I am from, my children are probably the only children in the town where we live (in GA) that do not ma'am and sir people. Additionally, having been in the Navy in particular, ma'am and sir are for officers---people you have to demonstrably show respect for but probably have no clue what you actual do and have likely not shown they are actually worthy of said respect, not people that work for a living and actually know what they are talking about. In short, sir and ma'am are *not* actually respectful in many cases, they are a tic mark in a check box.

    I'm not trying to pick on your interpretation of these behaviors, I'm just pointing out that they are not universal interpretations. Manners are subjective and cultural. IMO, the south is fake nice. I'll be happy when I leave...I'd rather have honest communication and basic courtesy than pretent obsequiousness followed by backstabbing rumormongering 'bless their heart' BS any day. Personally, sir and ma'am mean you don't have enough respect or interest to find out who I am before you start telling me your business or telling me what for...



    Quote Originally Posted by B. de Corbin View Post
    Begin with an equal playing field, then regrade the field as needed. No lords, no peons; show which rank you fall into via your own actions.
    This. Or, to paraphrase Theodore Parker, I believe in acting like "you are as good as I am" not like "I am as good as you are." ...because there is an attitude difference in the two.

    (the actual quote: Democracy means not “I am as good as you are,” but “You are as good as I am.)
    Last edited by thalassa; 09 Apr 2019 at 10:54.
    “You have never answered but you did not need to. If I stand at the ocean I can hear you with your thousand voices. Sometimes you shout, hilarious laughter that taunts all questions. Other nights you are silent as death, a mirror in which the stars show themselves. Then I think you want to tell me something, but you never do. Of course I know I have written letters to no-one. But what if I find a trident tomorrow?" ~~Letters to Poseidon, Cees Nooteboom

    “We still carry this primal relationship to the Earth within our consciousness, even if we have long forgotten it. It is a primal recognition of the wonder, beauty, and divine nature of the Earth. It is a felt reverence for all that exists. Once we bring this foundational quality into our consciousness, we will be able to respond to our present man-made crisis from a place of balance, in which our actions will be grounded in an attitude of respect for all of life. This is the nature of real sustainability.”
    ~~Llewellyn Vaughan-Lee

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    "Humans are not rational creatures. Now, logic and rationality are very helpful tools, but there’s also a place for embracing our subjectivity and thinking symbolically. Sometimes what our so-called higher thinking can’t or won’t see, our older, more primitive intuition will." John Beckett

    Pagan Devotionals, because the wind and the rain is our Bible

  2. #22
    Silver Member Tylluan Penry's Avatar
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    Re: Respect

    I have never responded well to people who demand my respect. Couldn't even get me to stand for the national anthem in the cinema when I was a child, which was very daring back in those days...

    That said, I consider myself polite. I try to be kind and compassionate. Just don't demand my respect because chances are, it will not be forthcoming.
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    Phantom Turnips never die.... they just get stewed occasionally....

  3. #23
    PF Ordo Hereticus MaskedOne's Avatar
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    Re: Respect

    Quote Originally Posted by thalassa View Post
    In short, sir and ma'am are *not* actually respectful in many cases, they are a tic mark in a check box.
    ^ This.

    I use both terms rather frequently because I deal with a lot of people that I need to move from one point to another and calling across a room, "Hey You!" doesn't actually work well. Sir and Ma'am are relatively safe forms of address (just pay enough attention to get the gender right, it's embarassing when you don't) to get the attention of someone I neither know nor care about long enough to give them instructions so I can deal with the next person who I also neither know nor care about. They have a purpose and I exploit them frequently but they aren't terms of respect. They are useful formalities that help me get my job done with minimal unnecessary stress.
    "It is not simply enough to know the light…a Jedi must feel the tension between the two sides of the Force…in himself and in the universe."
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    Yoda told stories, and ate, and cried, and laughed: and the Padawans saw that life itself was a lightsaber in his hands; even in the face of treachery and death and hopes gone cold, he burned like a candle in the darkness. Like a star shining in the black eternity of space.

    Yoda: Dark Rendezvous

    "But those men who know anything at all about the Light also know that there is a fierceness to its power, like the bare sword of the law, or the white burning of the sun." Suddenly his voice sounded to Will very strong, and very Welsh. "At the very heart, that is. Other things, like humanity, and mercy, and charity, that most good men hold more precious than all else, they do not come first for the Light. Oh, sometimes they are there; often, indeed. But in the very long run the concern of you people is with the absolute good, ahead of all else..."

    John Rowlands, The Grey King by Susan Cooper

    "You come from the Lord Adam and the Lady Eve", said Aslan. "And that is both honour enough to erect the head of the poorest beggar, and shame enough to bow the shoulders of the greatest emperor on earth; be content."

    Aslan, Prince Caspian by CS Lewis



  4. #24
    Silver Member Tylluan Penry's Avatar
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    Re: Respect

    I always called all my bosses, male and female, 'Sir.' Spelled C U R. One very nice woman boss was known as 'Chief.'

    IME A little bit of rebellion always went a long way.
    www.thewolfenhowlepress.com


    Phantom Turnips never die.... they just get stewed occasionally....

  5. #25
    Silver Member monsno_leedra's Avatar
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    Re: Respect

    Quote Originally Posted by thalassa View Post
    I was raised in the 80s as well. I would never say excuse me to someone that stepped in front of me, that's their fault for not watching where they were going. Now, I'd say it to someone I stepped in front of or went around, that that's because I'm intentionally getting in their way.
    I wasn't raised in the 80's but if I'm saying "excuse me" to someone stepping out in front of me it sure doesn't have an apology tone attached to it.

    Ma'am and sir-ing people was not part of etiquette where I am from, my children are probably the only children in the town where we live (in GA) that do not ma'am and sir people. Additionally, having been in the Navy in particular, ma'am and sir are for officers---people you have to demonstrably show respect for but probably have no clue what you actual do and have likely not shown they are actually worthy of said respect, not people that work for a living and actually know what they are talking about. In short, sir and ma'am are *not* actually respectful in many cases, they are a tic mark in a check box.
    Coming from the South Yes Ma'am, No Ma'am, Yes Sir, No Sir can be equated from respectful to screw you and anything in between depending upon tone and body posture. It's like saying "Aren't You Precious" could be saying they are actually precious to they are a bloom'n idiot. Yet we were always told we had to say it regardless.

    Being in the Navy if I really didn't respected an officer I always addressed them by their rank when I spoke to them. Never yes Sir or Ma'am Was pretty lucky didn't run into to many I didn't respect so was never to big of an issue. Though have to admit early in my career I was a screaming Seaman an happened to be walking to work and saw a Marine Sargent I knew driving a car so I waved to him. Got to work and he gave me and the guy walking with me a thrashing because we waved to him but failed to salute the Commandant of the Marine Corp who he was acting as the duty drive for. Never noticed the lights were on or that red flag with stars on the the car.

    I'm not trying to pick on your interpretation of these behaviors, I'm just pointing out that they are not universal interpretations. Manners are subjective and cultural. IMO, the south is fake nice. I'll be happy when I leave...I'd rather have honest communication and basic courtesy than pretent obsequiousness followed by backstabbing rumormongering 'bless their heart' BS any day. Personally, sir and ma'am mean you don't have enough respect or interest to find out who I am before you start telling me your business or telling me what for...
    Yep the South has lots of fake mannerisms, especially in some of the more political area's. There's what is said to your face and then what is said behind your back and in the community gossip circuit. The higher the circle at times the more the gossip and the faker the manners many times.

    "Bless their Heart" that's the other one you hear that has multiple meanings.. growing up that was one the women used to use mostly
    I'm Only Responsible For What I Say Not For What Or How You Understand!

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