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Thread: A Reintroduction after Many Years

  1. #1
    Sr. Member Siloh's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2012
    Southeastern US
    Boku wa shin-sekai no kami da!

    A Reintroduction after Many Years

    Hello Pagan Forum,

    I was once an avid reader and frequent poster here, not long after I finished my first degree.

    Like clockwork, I return again being nearly a full year out from finishing a graduate degree.

    Raised first an Orthodox and then much less orthodox Jew, the faith and culture of my adopters, I have always approached religion with the heart of an atheist and spirituality with the mind of a scholar.

    As a lifelong seeker, Iíve mostly been taken with atheistic Satanism and Buddhism.

    Iíve often been called a witch, though I never claimed anything of the sort. As I have learned more about my natural mother, Iíve sometimes wondered whether there were something to the indictment, but as a lover of LaVey, I typically choose to chalk it up to both me and my mother having been thrust into similar circumstances, the consequence of which was an intuitive understanding of the Lesser Magic of Satanic witches.

    I am now staring down my weddingóthis Halloween. My partner is no atheist nor religious whatsoever. He often says things that would make me think he were a devout Satanist, but I donít say so because he was raised in a rigidly Southern Baptist nook of Appalachia, where I have often been asked what text Jews follow (just as an example of the willful, clannish ignorance and insularity they harbor).

    But something strange has been happening since we first got together, and now that I have the luxury of time to think and read without the oppressive demands of rigorous syllabi, Iíve wanted to come back here to read and share.

    There is a trend in our relationship that became impossible to ignore after our first year together. Even then, it started as a joke. When we first became friends, I told him he was the most wanton hedonist Iíd ever met, a word heíd never heard. I embraced his spirit of hedonism. The shared love we have of entheogens was integral to bringing us together, and our practice of psychonautics has been one of the most important pastimes between us.

    But there was and is a predictable pattern in our relationship that is as reliable as a clock. Every time we push the boundaries of hedonistic experience, especially when we involve entheogens, the most profound good fortune follows within 2-5 days. Neither of us are very superstitious, but after observing this trend for a full year and never seeing it break once, we began to joke that we had caught the attention and garnered the affection of some spirit or deity.

    Itís been three years now, and the pattern remains unbroken. We push the limits of sensual experience; an unlikely windfall follows.

    Now Iím interested in doing just a little bit more to connect, I guess. I never meant to be a believer in any god but myself, but I find myself very much believing in an interceder. I have often wondered if Bacchus might be our benefactor, but I donít feel much connection there. Really, I donít know that it matters too much who I call this apparent force or even if it matters to personify it at all. We nicknamed it our lesser hedonist deity. But maybe itís Voluptas herself?

    I think I probably sound mad, but it feels as though I have been a seeker forever, and instead of finding my spirituality, it found me.

    Enough blabbering. Thank you for keeping this community going.

  2. #2
    Silver Member anubisa's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2013
    Egyptian Wiccan
    Morgantown, WV
    Daughter of Lord Anubis and Lady Bast.

    Re: A Reintroduction after Many Years

    Welcome back to the forum! Looking forward to hear what you have to say!

    Dedicated and devoted to Lord Anubis and Lady Bast. A follower of the path of Egyptian Wicca.

  3. #3
    Silver Member Bartmanhomer's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2015
    New York, NY USA

    Re: A Reintroduction after Many Years

    Hello Siloh and welcome back to Pagan Forum.

  4. #4
    Newbie Laika's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2020
    Atheist/Marxist Materialism

    Re: A Reintroduction after Many Years

    Welcome back to the Pagan Forum Siloh. I hope you have a great time here.

  5. #5
    PF Ordo Hereticus MaskedOne's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2009
    The ability to destroy a planet is insignificant compared to the power of the Force.

    Re: A Reintroduction after Many Years

    Welcome back!
    "It is not simply enough to know the lightÖa Jedi must feel the tension between the two sides of the ForceÖin himself and in the universe."

    "When to the Force you truly give yourself, all you do expresses the truth of who you are,"


    Yoda told stories, and ate, and cried, and laughed: and the Padawans saw that life itself was a lightsaber in his hands; even in the face of treachery and death and hopes gone cold, he burned like a candle in the darkness. Like a star shining in the black eternity of space.

    Yoda: Dark Rendezvous

    "But those men who know anything at all about the Light also know that there is a fierceness to its power, like the bare sword of the law, or the white burning of the sun." Suddenly his voice sounded to Will very strong, and very Welsh. "At the very heart, that is. Other things, like humanity, and mercy, and charity, that most good men hold more precious than all else, they do not come first for the Light. Oh, sometimes they are there; often, indeed. But in the very long run the concern of you people is with the absolute good, ahead of all else..."

    John Rowlands, The Grey King by Susan Cooper

    "You come from the Lord Adam and the Lady Eve", said Aslan. "And that is both honour enough to erect the head of the poorest beggar, and shame enough to bow the shoulders of the greatest emperor on earth; be content."

    Aslan, Prince Caspian by CS Lewis

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