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Thread: I'm Going Through A Lot Of Baggage Right Now

  1. #1
    Silver Member Bartmanhomer's Avatar
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    I'm Going Through A Lot Of Baggage Right Now

    Hey everybody. I'm going through a lot of baggage. Ever since my friend mother died, I was questioning my faith. I feel like that God gave me a middle finger for praying that my friend mother will get better. Well, guess how that turned out?! �� I feel like God really hates me at this point. ��
    Last edited by Bartmanhomer; 15 Apr 2020 at 15:05.

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    Re: I'm Going Through A Lot Of Baggage Right Now

    Hey BH,

    I don't have the answer to reconciling faith with death. I do want to point out that no one gets to escape death indefinitely. Your friend's mother's death was not about your faith alone. It was about her time and way to die. Your prayers and beliefs have to have been at least somewhat secondary in priority, or we would all full- heartedly expect death to halt whenever we ask. Maybe we are all getting the middle finger.

    I don't want to spout platitudes, or profess to know what all of this is about. I just think that you cannot expect your prayers alone to save anyone. That is too much responsibility on you, if nothing else!

    Anger, though. I get the anger. I don't know the whys of death, but I can sure tell you that I get sick and tired of the shock and grief and endlessness of it. And especially now, when everything is up in the air and all predictions seem pretty awful. The wheel of fortune seems to be turning in high gear and we had all just better hang on the best we can until it settles to a slower pace.

    Be angry, be sad, be happy for your memories, be happy you are still alive, feel whatever you feel. But I promise, you were not responsible for her death because you and your God are not getting along, or you didn't pray right, or enough or whatever.

    I'm sending you my own love, prayers, whatever. Because you are a human being right in the center of a global disaster that we really have never seen before, and you have only normal human emotions and skills to cope with it. Keep yourself safe and cut yourself some slack.

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    Silver Member Bartmanhomer's Avatar
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    Re: I'm Going Through A Lot Of Baggage Right Now

    Quote Originally Posted by Prickly Pear View Post
    Hey BH,

    I don't have the answer to reconciling faith with death. I do want to point out that no one gets to escape death indefinitely. Your friend's mother's death was not about your faith alone. It was about her time and way to die. Your prayers and beliefs have to have been at least somewhat secondary in priority, or we would all full-heartedly expect death to halt whenever we ask. Maybe we are all getting the middle finger.

    I don't want to spout platitudes or profess to know what all of this is about. I just think that you cannot expect your prayers alone to save anyone. That is too much responsibility on you if nothing else!

    Anger, though. I get the anger. I don't know the whys of death, but I can sure tell you that I get sick and tired of the shock and grief and endlessness of it. And especially now, when everything is up in the air and all predictions seem pretty awful. The wheel of fortune seems to be turning in high gear and we had all just better hang on the best we can until it settles to a slower pace.

    Be angry, be sad, be happy for your memories, be happy you are still alive, feel whatever you feel. But I promise you we're not responsible for her death because you and your God are not getting along, or you didn't pray right, or enough or whatever.

    I'm sending you my own love, prayers, whatever. Because you are a human being right in the centre of a global disaster that we really have never seen before, and you have only normal human emotions and skills to cope with it. Keep yourself safe and cut yourself some slack.
    So you want me to forget about her and brush it off? Is that what you're trying to say here. If so no I won't and I'm not going to brush it off. My anger and emotions are very understandable. If you have a loved one well you'll feel the same way that I've been. And when I hear "cut yourself some slack." It's another phrase to forget about it. Which I find it to be a bit insulting.

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    Silver Member anubisa's Avatar
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    Re: I'm Going Through A Lot Of Baggage Right Now

    No one is trying to say that. What Prickly Pear is basically saying is that you need to understand that it isn't your fault that your friend's mother died. Don't get angry with someone who is trying to be sympathetic with you. That's rude.
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    Silver Member Bartmanhomer's Avatar
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    Re: I'm Going Through A Lot Of Baggage Right Now

    Quote Originally Posted by anubisa View Post
    No one is trying to say that. What Prickly Pear is basically saying is that you need to understand that it isn't your fault that your friend's mother died. Don't get angry with someone who is trying to be sympathetic with you. That's rude.
    I'm sorry. My apologies to Prickly Pear. I'm just going through emotions right now. I know that she mean well.

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    Thane Doc_Holliday's Avatar
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    Re: I'm Going Through A Lot Of Baggage Right Now

    Hope you're able to get better Bartman, sorry about what happened.
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    The Maple Leaf Forever.

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    Silver Member Bartmanhomer's Avatar
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    Re: I'm Going Through A Lot Of Baggage Right Now

    Quote Originally Posted by Doc_Holliday View Post
    Hope you're able to get better Bartman, sorry about what happened.
    Thank you.

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    Re: I'm Going Through A Lot Of Baggage Right Now

    Honestly BMH how we handle death is as import as how we handle life. That is one of the reasons Christianity was able to replace so many of the elder religions. It addressed not only how we handle death but the idea of what occurs to our "soul" or "Spirit" after death. It's an idea we see develop through many cults and religion's to aid us in handling our grief and pain at the passing of both our own loved one's but also the very idea of death and facing it. To be honest it's even evolved within society in how we handle the "body" and the rites and rituals we utilize in honoring "it" and the departed.

    Now you question your beliefs / religion / spirituality because in part you have survivors guilt. Your alive in these times and she died. You prayed to your God and it didn't help. That makes you question your God's truths and the dogma surrounding him. But it is also deeper than that IMHO. Your in a hot spot of activity right now for the virus. So you question your own life and survival and the comfort your religious beliefs should be providing you in these times.

    The net is full of Meme's, Pray and He will deliver you. You did and it didn't work. But in my humble opinion your being tested against the idea that Christianity in the real world is not based against the idea of the individual but against the group. The individual is saved in their belief and via dogma in the afterlife. That's where salvation is assured, not via prayer for this life. That's where that idea of belief comes into play IMHO. To put yourself fully into His hands. To find comfort and solace in that belief which gives them strength to endure the hardships and receive the strength to survive this life while awaiting the rewards of the afterlife. Of course that is my opinion again.

    You asked about forgetting her and brushing it off. Yet it's not about forgetting her and brushing it off. Spiritual wise she's slipped the bonds that ensnared her and gone to a better place and is free of pain. Realistically she'll be laid to rest in hallowed ground which is sacred and become part of the communal memory so not lost until the communal memory is lost. Hopefully there will be someone to sing her travelling song and tell her story and let the ancestor's know of her passing and herald her arrival before the gates. Perhaps you can be one of the singers of her song if she meant that much to you. Be the writer of her story and read it upon the wind to carry it forth if you can not sing it.

    But all in all your being human right now and experiencing the emotions of death and pain. The things your belief system and spirituality should be helping you face and to some degree answer regarding an afterlife. But also testing regarding do you really believe about your belief system and its message and purpose.
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    Live and learn anunitu's Avatar
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    Re: I'm Going Through A Lot Of Baggage Right Now

    thing is bart we all go throuh this we lose family and friends in my life time i have "lost" a large number of people i was close to,but their passing was not something i ever had any control over both my mother and father are gone as well as my older sister and my older brother,now it is just my sister and myself left from our birth family to live life is to lose others you become close to even at some time my sister will lose me and she knows that that is not on her ever and she will deal with my passing and in her way honor my life in her way.
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    Silver Member anubisa's Avatar
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    Re: I'm Going Through A Lot Of Baggage Right Now

    I understand you are going through a lot now. We all handle death in different ways and it is natural to question our faith at times. However, we eventually will face death. We can't control death. It is unfortunate that she got CoVid, but she may have been taken because she was in a lot of pain. No one ever understands why our loved ones are taken. All we can do is remember the good times with them. I still talk with my loved ones that have passed. So try doing that if you feel very lonely or in need to feel her.
    Anubisa

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