I am here to look for a bit of enlightenment or pointing in the right direction if possible. I have always been interested in the spiritual side of things and looking back on my life so far, I have had a number of experiences which are quite difficult to explain to the modern day individual of rationale and logic. I haven't really tried to explain these experiences in depth to anyone, but at the same time I've never really felt this to be a negative thing and more something to be treasured as my own personal experience and discovery of truth.
The main aspect that I am hoping to get some advice/explanation on, has been gnawing away at the periphery of my conscious/subconscious for the past while. It relates to two specific experiences which I had namely in relation to two people, both females, who I met on two different internet music forums back in the early 2000's. I have never met these ladies in person to this day, and for what it's worth (if anything) I am a male. The story is as follows:
The first lady, who I spoke to on MSN Messenger (blast from the past!) every other night, claimed to be a white witch. I didn't (and still don't) know a lot about white witches, but she assured me that this was a good thing. She was from New York, I lived in France at the time. As we got to know each other, I felt this sort of connection with her- it's hard to explain and it was unspoken between us. It was almost like experiencing a feeling of elevated energy, like we were far apart but there was this kind of telepathic radiance which was constantly between us.This relationship did, for whatever reason, start to peter out and we only sporadically spoke after a while.
Then when I moved back to Scotland less than a year later, I spoke to another lady on a different music forum from South America- I shall call her Lady 2. Lady 2 came across as a real believer in love, and was very mystical. I don't know what her specific beliefs were, or if she had any. She told me things like we were siamese twins in a past life and although that would probably sound absurd to most people, I accepted this with an opened mind. During this time I felt a similar connection with her as to Lady 1, maybe even stronger a bond in some ways, but at the same time I didn't really feel I had the capacity to understand what our relationship meant or was about at all- probably down to my lack of depth in understanding to her level. During this time, I also had some vivid dreams- for example I dreamt of sitting around an ancient, glowing tree with golden leaves. There were some people sat around with me (one of these was a random person who I had met once or twice who lived above me in the student halls where I was staying, who spoke to me about astral travel, another was a female with her face blurred out). I told of this dream to Lady 2 and she explained to me that it was the tree of life.
Anyway to get to the most interesting part of the story for me... One day I was quite annoyed and was playing the guitar in my room, and all of a sudden I thought something very negative/dark directed towards Lady 2. I don't know how to explain the nature of the thought, but it shot out of my head like a bolt of lightning. I do remember wondering at the time whether she had picked up this thought. Very shortly after I read an email from her saying something along the lines of 'I don't know what game you are playing, but you had better not contact me again'. I did manage to speak to her over email a couple of more times but she told me in no uncertain terms not to contact her again until I had sorted myself out (I was a bit of a mess at the time).
So somewhat naturally after this instance I gravitated towards Lady 1 again and I spoke to her on MSN and explained what happened with Lady 2. She gave me a bit of advice and then asked me to sit back in my chair and relax which I did. I then felt what is best described as a compression in my head, as if my brain was being squeezed... and then she started telling me all these things about my current life (past and present) - things which she absolutely could not know as I had not told her. She then asked me to visualise and tell her what clothes she was wearing- I had absolutely no idea, got no vision whatsoever and took a stab in the dark and said something black I was wrong of course...
So anyway, in relation to the above I have not heard from either Lady 1 or Lady 2 in over 15 years- I tried to email them a few years ago and got no response. This does not worry me at all, but recently these experiences have been gnawing away at me a bit... questions like what does this mean, why me, how many people have these experiences and things like that. I don't consider myself to be gifted like the two ladies in question, but I am extremely intuitive and can very quickly understand the depths of a person and make them feel at ease with who they are. I don't know if, quite simply, this is the reason why I had these experiences, or whether there is something more to it. They have certainly opened my mind to the infinite realm of possibility, so perhaps in this sense, the experiences have served their purpose? At the same time, the spirit of enquiry, especially recently, has made me want to understand how people are able to cultivate these powers and I would really like to speak to someone who could provide me with answers in this light. Any help/pointers/suggestions would be much appreciated!
The main aspect that I am hoping to get some advice/explanation on, has been gnawing away at the periphery of my conscious/subconscious for the past while. It relates to two specific experiences which I had namely in relation to two people, both females, who I met on two different internet music forums back in the early 2000's. I have never met these ladies in person to this day, and for what it's worth (if anything) I am a male. The story is as follows:
The first lady, who I spoke to on MSN Messenger (blast from the past!) every other night, claimed to be a white witch. I didn't (and still don't) know a lot about white witches, but she assured me that this was a good thing. She was from New York, I lived in France at the time. As we got to know each other, I felt this sort of connection with her- it's hard to explain and it was unspoken between us. It was almost like experiencing a feeling of elevated energy, like we were far apart but there was this kind of telepathic radiance which was constantly between us.This relationship did, for whatever reason, start to peter out and we only sporadically spoke after a while.
Then when I moved back to Scotland less than a year later, I spoke to another lady on a different music forum from South America- I shall call her Lady 2. Lady 2 came across as a real believer in love, and was very mystical. I don't know what her specific beliefs were, or if she had any. She told me things like we were siamese twins in a past life and although that would probably sound absurd to most people, I accepted this with an opened mind. During this time I felt a similar connection with her as to Lady 1, maybe even stronger a bond in some ways, but at the same time I didn't really feel I had the capacity to understand what our relationship meant or was about at all- probably down to my lack of depth in understanding to her level. During this time, I also had some vivid dreams- for example I dreamt of sitting around an ancient, glowing tree with golden leaves. There were some people sat around with me (one of these was a random person who I had met once or twice who lived above me in the student halls where I was staying, who spoke to me about astral travel, another was a female with her face blurred out). I told of this dream to Lady 2 and she explained to me that it was the tree of life.
Anyway to get to the most interesting part of the story for me... One day I was quite annoyed and was playing the guitar in my room, and all of a sudden I thought something very negative/dark directed towards Lady 2. I don't know how to explain the nature of the thought, but it shot out of my head like a bolt of lightning. I do remember wondering at the time whether she had picked up this thought. Very shortly after I read an email from her saying something along the lines of 'I don't know what game you are playing, but you had better not contact me again'. I did manage to speak to her over email a couple of more times but she told me in no uncertain terms not to contact her again until I had sorted myself out (I was a bit of a mess at the time).
So somewhat naturally after this instance I gravitated towards Lady 1 again and I spoke to her on MSN and explained what happened with Lady 2. She gave me a bit of advice and then asked me to sit back in my chair and relax which I did. I then felt what is best described as a compression in my head, as if my brain was being squeezed... and then she started telling me all these things about my current life (past and present) - things which she absolutely could not know as I had not told her. She then asked me to visualise and tell her what clothes she was wearing- I had absolutely no idea, got no vision whatsoever and took a stab in the dark and said something black I was wrong of course...
So anyway, in relation to the above I have not heard from either Lady 1 or Lady 2 in over 15 years- I tried to email them a few years ago and got no response. This does not worry me at all, but recently these experiences have been gnawing away at me a bit... questions like what does this mean, why me, how many people have these experiences and things like that. I don't consider myself to be gifted like the two ladies in question, but I am extremely intuitive and can very quickly understand the depths of a person and make them feel at ease with who they are. I don't know if, quite simply, this is the reason why I had these experiences, or whether there is something more to it. They have certainly opened my mind to the infinite realm of possibility, so perhaps in this sense, the experiences have served their purpose? At the same time, the spirit of enquiry, especially recently, has made me want to understand how people are able to cultivate these powers and I would really like to speak to someone who could provide me with answers in this light. Any help/pointers/suggestions would be much appreciated!
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