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Thread: A life without children

  1. #11
    bibliophibian volcaniclastic's Avatar
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    Re: A life without children

    Quote Originally Posted by Hawkfeathers View Post
    Well, that totally made my day! Thanks. Good luck with the sterilization procedure! I had looked into it when I was around your age and got the old "you'll change your mind" speech. I only went to a couple of doctors, as I had to stay in my insurance network, and I kind of knew what I'd be up against. I've gotten attached to some kids in my life - an ex-bf had two who were 5 & 7 when we met - today one's a math teacher and the other's finishing med school. (I'm not in touch with them but I snoop every now and then. )
    I was pleasantly surprised that I didn't get any of that from the doctor. I got asked why I wanted it, and I was informed it is irreversible, and that was it. I was expecting more patriarchy pushback.

    I haven't told anyone in my family yet. My grandparents keep expecting me to pop out a kid any day now, and my mother honestly doesn't care enough about my life for me to tell her anyhow. Whatever her opinion is on it, can wait until it's irreversible.

    But I've been telling just about anyone else who'll listen! I'm excited - just another stress of life that I'll no longer have to worry about.
    “The world is big and I want to have a good look at it before it gets dark.” – John Muir

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  2. #12
    Apprentice of Doom Shahaku's Avatar
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    Re: A life without children

    I had a child, but it was a huge pain getting my tubes tied even so. I was 24. The doctor who performed the csection denied that the paperwork was on file for a tubal, so I had to come back months later for it. I had to go through the whole spiel with four different people (the nurse practitioner, the doctor at the clinic, the surgeon, then a second surgeon when my first was called off for an emergency c-section).

    All of them tried to talk me out of it. One of them asked what I would do if something happened to my baby... like, you do realize popping out another one doesn't replace the first or take away the pain of losing a kid, right?

    I was so done with their BS but needed the tubal. It's stupid.
    We are what we are. Nothing more, nothing less. There is good and evil among every kind of people. It's the evil among us who rule now. -Anne Bishop, Daughter of the Blood

    I wondered if he could ever understand that it was a blessing, not a sin, to be graced with more than one love.
    It could be complicated; of course it could be complicated. And it opened one up to the possibility of more pain and loss.
    Still, it was a blessing I would never relinquish. Love, genuine love, was always a cause for joy.
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  3. #13
    Supporter kalynraye's Avatar
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    Re: A life without children

    Two months after I turned 30 I had Monster. He will be four in two weeks, and I can say with 100% honesty had I not been without insurance for 3 months and unable to get my birth control during that time I would not have a child at all. That being said I love my son deeply. I would do anything to protect him and give everything I can to ensure I don't raise an asshole(yes I typed it out Mask you can censor but I mean what I say!).

    All that to say I have only ever had very small windows in my life where I wanted children. Sorry I have five brothers and two sisters and am currently sitting at twenty, yes I said it TWENTY nieces and nephews and half of them barely know me. I grew up very poor and it was not an easy existance. I remember empty cabinets and stressed out parents and I never wanted to put that on a child ( I knew I was deeply loved, that I was cherished and given every thing that they could afford to give me but that doesn't wash away the memories I have).

    The questions and commnets I get now are:
    "So when are you having another?"
    "Don't you want to try for a girl?"
    "He needs a little sister/brother, maybe that one will look like KP instead of you!"
    "He's going to be lonely without a sibling, that's not fair to him!"

    Fun fact I have twenty nieces and nephews he is not lonely!
    Last edited by volcaniclastic; 21 Oct 2020 at 19:51. Reason: hueh hueh
    "If you want to know what a man is like, take a good look at how he treats his inferiors, not his equals." -- Sirius Black

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  4. #14
    PF Ordo Hereticus MaskedOne's Avatar
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    Re: A life without children

    I mean, if you're going to summon me by name to censor your language then I probably should but that particular term is only on my censor on sight list if I see it in quantity or you conspire to actively irritate me so for the moment you're safe unless someone else on the staff decides to censor you because while I don't have any pressing need to mod your post, I'm also not going to stop anyone else if any of the other staff disagree with me.
    "It is not simply enough to know the light…a Jedi must feel the tension between the two sides of the Force…in himself and in the universe."
    ―Thon

    "When to the Force you truly give yourself, all you do expresses the truth of who you are,"

    Yoda

    Yoda told stories, and ate, and cried, and laughed: and the Padawans saw that life itself was a lightsaber in his hands; even in the face of treachery and death and hopes gone cold, he burned like a candle in the darkness. Like a star shining in the black eternity of space.

    Yoda: Dark Rendezvous

    "But those men who know anything at all about the Light also know that there is a fierceness to its power, like the bare sword of the law, or the white burning of the sun." Suddenly his voice sounded to Will very strong, and very Welsh. "At the very heart, that is. Other things, like humanity, and mercy, and charity, that most good men hold more precious than all else, they do not come first for the Light. Oh, sometimes they are there; often, indeed. But in the very long run the concern of you people is with the absolute good, ahead of all else..."

    John Rowlands, The Grey King by Susan Cooper

    "You come from the Lord Adam and the Lady Eve", said Aslan. "And that is both honour enough to erect the head of the poorest beggar, and shame enough to bow the shoulders of the greatest emperor on earth; be content."

    Aslan, Prince Caspian by CS Lewis



  5. #15
    Supporter kalynraye's Avatar
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    Re: A life without children

    Lol I try and refrain from my swear words in the threads where I am not allowed to use them, however I feel when we are talking about raising a human being that particular word is the perfect description of what I don't want to raise him to be. I also know that I am breaking the rules and accept it being censored if needed so I admit my fault and don't try to play dumb.
    "If you want to know what a man is like, take a good look at how he treats his inferiors, not his equals." -- Sirius Black

    "Time is an illusion, lunch time doubly so."-- Ford Prefect

  6. #16
    PF Ordo Hereticus MaskedOne's Avatar
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    Re: A life without children

    Quote Originally Posted by kalynraye View Post
    Lol I try and refrain from my swear words in the threads where I am not allowed to use them, however I feel when we are talking about raising a human being that particular word is the perfect description of what I don't want to raise him to be. I also know that I am breaking the rules and accept it being censored if needed so I admit my fault and don't try to play dumb.
    The profanity rules have a degree of leeway. There are one or two terms where standing precedent is that they get removed from your post on sight if we see them in any public board and there are a number where if we see them once or twice in a given post (and you (in the general sense) don't use this as an opportunity to add a single curse to every post because malicious rules lawyering will result in malicious rules modification and ex post facto adminning) then we will let you get away with it. You're in mostly safe territory, barring V's desire to play with fonts and mod powers. I wouldn't even have commented except that I was amused to be summoned by name.
    "It is not simply enough to know the light…a Jedi must feel the tension between the two sides of the Force…in himself and in the universe."
    ―Thon

    "When to the Force you truly give yourself, all you do expresses the truth of who you are,"

    Yoda

    Yoda told stories, and ate, and cried, and laughed: and the Padawans saw that life itself was a lightsaber in his hands; even in the face of treachery and death and hopes gone cold, he burned like a candle in the darkness. Like a star shining in the black eternity of space.

    Yoda: Dark Rendezvous

    "But those men who know anything at all about the Light also know that there is a fierceness to its power, like the bare sword of the law, or the white burning of the sun." Suddenly his voice sounded to Will very strong, and very Welsh. "At the very heart, that is. Other things, like humanity, and mercy, and charity, that most good men hold more precious than all else, they do not come first for the Light. Oh, sometimes they are there; often, indeed. But in the very long run the concern of you people is with the absolute good, ahead of all else..."

    John Rowlands, The Grey King by Susan Cooper

    "You come from the Lord Adam and the Lady Eve", said Aslan. "And that is both honour enough to erect the head of the poorest beggar, and shame enough to bow the shoulders of the greatest emperor on earth; be content."

    Aslan, Prince Caspian by CS Lewis



  7. #17
    bibliophibian volcaniclastic's Avatar
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    Re: A life without children

    Quote Originally Posted by MaskedOne View Post
    The profanity rules have a degree of leeway. There are one or two terms where standing precedent is that they get removed from your post on sight if we see them in any public board and there are a number where if we see them once or twice in a given post (and you (in the general sense) don't use this as an opportunity to add a single curse to every post because malicious rules lawyering will result in malicious rules modification and ex post facto adminning) then we will let you get away with it. You're in mostly safe territory, barring V's desire to play with fonts and mod powers. I wouldn't even have commented except that I was amused to be summoned by name.
    Heh, I did that just to see if you'd catch it, Masked.
    “The world is big and I want to have a good look at it before it gets dark.” – John Muir

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  8. #18
    PF Ordo Hereticus MaskedOne's Avatar
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    Re: A life without children

    Quote Originally Posted by volcaniclastic View Post
    Heh, I did that just to see if you'd catch it, Masked.
    I mean, I have to be at least half as all-knowing as I pretend to be or people start thinking that there isn't an omnipresent oppressor just waiting to make object lessons for the smallest of excuses. Where would we be if people started thinking they had freedom around here?
    "It is not simply enough to know the light…a Jedi must feel the tension between the two sides of the Force…in himself and in the universe."
    ―Thon

    "When to the Force you truly give yourself, all you do expresses the truth of who you are,"

    Yoda

    Yoda told stories, and ate, and cried, and laughed: and the Padawans saw that life itself was a lightsaber in his hands; even in the face of treachery and death and hopes gone cold, he burned like a candle in the darkness. Like a star shining in the black eternity of space.

    Yoda: Dark Rendezvous

    "But those men who know anything at all about the Light also know that there is a fierceness to its power, like the bare sword of the law, or the white burning of the sun." Suddenly his voice sounded to Will very strong, and very Welsh. "At the very heart, that is. Other things, like humanity, and mercy, and charity, that most good men hold more precious than all else, they do not come first for the Light. Oh, sometimes they are there; often, indeed. But in the very long run the concern of you people is with the absolute good, ahead of all else..."

    John Rowlands, The Grey King by Susan Cooper

    "You come from the Lord Adam and the Lady Eve", said Aslan. "And that is both honour enough to erect the head of the poorest beggar, and shame enough to bow the shoulders of the greatest emperor on earth; be content."

    Aslan, Prince Caspian by CS Lewis



  9. #19
    Supporter Hawkfeathers's Avatar
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    Re: A life without children

    Quote Originally Posted by MaskedOne View Post
    I mean, I have to be at least half as all-knowing as I pretend to be or people start thinking that there isn't an omnipresent oppressor just waiting to make object lessons for the smallest of excuses. Where would we be if people started thinking they had freedom around here?
    He who harvests the brains of others for pizza should always himself wear a helmet.

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  10. #20
    PF Ordo Hereticus MaskedOne's Avatar
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    Re: A life without children

    Quote Originally Posted by Hawkfeathers View Post
    He who harvests the brains of others for pizza should always himself wear a helmet.
    Those things are designed for mortal skulls. They don't really come in the appropriate form for extra-dimensional horrors. My meat puppets might enjoy them but meat puppets are expendable to start with.
    "It is not simply enough to know the light…a Jedi must feel the tension between the two sides of the Force…in himself and in the universe."
    ―Thon

    "When to the Force you truly give yourself, all you do expresses the truth of who you are,"

    Yoda

    Yoda told stories, and ate, and cried, and laughed: and the Padawans saw that life itself was a lightsaber in his hands; even in the face of treachery and death and hopes gone cold, he burned like a candle in the darkness. Like a star shining in the black eternity of space.

    Yoda: Dark Rendezvous

    "But those men who know anything at all about the Light also know that there is a fierceness to its power, like the bare sword of the law, or the white burning of the sun." Suddenly his voice sounded to Will very strong, and very Welsh. "At the very heart, that is. Other things, like humanity, and mercy, and charity, that most good men hold more precious than all else, they do not come first for the Light. Oh, sometimes they are there; often, indeed. But in the very long run the concern of you people is with the absolute good, ahead of all else..."

    John Rowlands, The Grey King by Susan Cooper

    "You come from the Lord Adam and the Lady Eve", said Aslan. "And that is both honour enough to erect the head of the poorest beggar, and shame enough to bow the shoulders of the greatest emperor on earth; be content."

    Aslan, Prince Caspian by CS Lewis



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