A very sensitive, but widely discussed topic these days: people who (either by choice or not) live a life without children. It's still very much the norm that you 'ought to' get married and then as a logical follow-up have kids. People don't ask if you want children. They ask when you'll have them. If by any circumstance you end up having no children there is (apparently) something wrong with you or your life choices.
There are of course a thousand reasons why people don't have kids. Not wanting them is but one. Some are not physically able to have children, or they didn't find the right partner, or life simply got in the way. I'm 32 years old and I have never had any desire to have children. Don't get me wrong. I like children. Just the idea of looking after a mini-me never appealed to me.
These are some of the comments I've heard when I tell others I don't want children:
- "Just you wait, you're still young..." AKA "Tick, tock..."
- "Why? Do you hate children?"
- "That's a bit selfish, don't you think?" => someone please explain this one to me
- "But you'll get so much love in return! You'll miss all that!"
- "You don't know what true love is until you have children."
- "Don't you think it's about time you start trying?"
- "Aren't you afraid you'll end up all alone?"
- "You'll regret it." => definitely the one I've heard the most
In my country, but I'm sure in most of western culture we're brought up with the typical picture-perfect idea of what the ideal life looks like and having kids is part of that. It is as most people think 'normal' and because of that the thought of not having children can be a scary one for some. Especially that fear of regret or dying alone can really be something that keeps people up at night.
These ideas of what life looks like with/without children can only change through discussion. So I'm curious about what you guys think about this topic. I'll throw in some questions (you don't have to answer them all):
- Do you have children? Or are you childless/childfree? (not a fan of either of these words, but for lack of a better one...)
- Is/was not having children your own choice?
- How are you experiencing life without children? What are the best/worst things about not having them?
- How do you imagine your life without kids will be like as you get older?
- What are some of the things people say to you when you tell them you don't have children? What do you say in response?
Or if you do have children:
- Have you always wanted to have children? Was it a conscious choice?
- Did having children meet your expectations? Is it easier/harder than you thought?
- How are you experiencing life with children? What are the best/worst things about it?
- Would you do it again if you could go back in time?
Or of course anything that comes to your mind.
(Lastly, just a little reminder to please stay respectful to other people's opinions and experiences. As I mentioned earlier, this can be a very sensitive and sometimes even painful topic).
There are of course a thousand reasons why people don't have kids. Not wanting them is but one. Some are not physically able to have children, or they didn't find the right partner, or life simply got in the way. I'm 32 years old and I have never had any desire to have children. Don't get me wrong. I like children. Just the idea of looking after a mini-me never appealed to me.
These are some of the comments I've heard when I tell others I don't want children:
- "Just you wait, you're still young..." AKA "Tick, tock..."
- "Why? Do you hate children?"
- "That's a bit selfish, don't you think?" => someone please explain this one to me
- "But you'll get so much love in return! You'll miss all that!"
- "You don't know what true love is until you have children."
- "Don't you think it's about time you start trying?"
- "Aren't you afraid you'll end up all alone?"
- "You'll regret it." => definitely the one I've heard the most
In my country, but I'm sure in most of western culture we're brought up with the typical picture-perfect idea of what the ideal life looks like and having kids is part of that. It is as most people think 'normal' and because of that the thought of not having children can be a scary one for some. Especially that fear of regret or dying alone can really be something that keeps people up at night.
These ideas of what life looks like with/without children can only change through discussion. So I'm curious about what you guys think about this topic. I'll throw in some questions (you don't have to answer them all):
- Do you have children? Or are you childless/childfree? (not a fan of either of these words, but for lack of a better one...)
- Is/was not having children your own choice?
- How are you experiencing life without children? What are the best/worst things about not having them?
- How do you imagine your life without kids will be like as you get older?
- What are some of the things people say to you when you tell them you don't have children? What do you say in response?
Or if you do have children:
- Have you always wanted to have children? Was it a conscious choice?
- Did having children meet your expectations? Is it easier/harder than you thought?
- How are you experiencing life with children? What are the best/worst things about it?
- Would you do it again if you could go back in time?
Or of course anything that comes to your mind.
(Lastly, just a little reminder to please stay respectful to other people's opinions and experiences. As I mentioned earlier, this can be a very sensitive and sometimes even painful topic).
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