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A life without children

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    #16
    Re: A life without children

    Originally posted by kalynraye View Post
    Lol I try and refrain from my swear words in the threads where I am not allowed to use them, however I feel when we are talking about raising a human being that particular word is the perfect description of what I don't want to raise him to be. I also know that I am breaking the rules and accept it being censored if needed so I admit my fault and don't try to play dumb.
    The profanity rules have a degree of leeway. There are one or two terms where standing precedent is that they get removed from your post on sight if we see them in any public board and there are a number where if we see them once or twice in a given post (and you (in the general sense) don't use this as an opportunity to add a single curse to every post because malicious rules lawyering will result in malicious rules modification and ex post facto adminning) then we will let you get away with it. You're in mostly safe territory, barring V's desire to play with fonts and mod powers. I wouldn't even have commented except that I was amused to be summoned by name.
    life itself was a lightsaber in his hands; even in the face of treachery and death and hopes gone cold, he burned like a candle in the darkness. Like a star shining in the black eternity of space.

    Yoda: Dark Rendezvous

    "But those men who know anything at all about the Light also know that there is a fierceness to its power, like the bare sword of the law, or the white burning of the sun." Suddenly his voice sounded to Will very strong, and very Welsh. "At the very heart, that is. Other things, like humanity, and mercy, and charity, that most good men hold more precious than all else, they do not come first for the Light. Oh, sometimes they are there; often, indeed. But in the very long run the concern of you people is with the absolute good, ahead of all else..."

    John Rowlands, The Grey King by Susan Cooper

    "You come from the Lord Adam and the Lady Eve", said Aslan. "And that is both honour enough to erect the head of the poorest beggar, and shame enough to bow the shoulders of the greatest emperor on earth; be content."

    Aslan, Prince Caspian by CS Lewis


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      #17
      Re: A life without children

      Originally posted by MaskedOne View Post
      The profanity rules have a degree of leeway. There are one or two terms where standing precedent is that they get removed from your post on sight if we see them in any public board and there are a number where if we see them once or twice in a given post (and you (in the general sense) don't use this as an opportunity to add a single curse to every post because malicious rules lawyering will result in malicious rules modification and ex post facto adminning) then we will let you get away with it. You're in mostly safe territory, barring V's desire to play with fonts and mod powers. I wouldn't even have commented except that I was amused to be summoned by name.
      Heh, I did that just to see if you'd catch it, Masked.


      Mostly art.

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        #18
        Re: A life without children

        Originally posted by volcaniclastic View Post
        Heh, I did that just to see if you'd catch it, Masked.
        I mean, I have to be at least half as all-knowing as I pretend to be or people start thinking that there isn't an omnipresent oppressor just waiting to make object lessons for the smallest of excuses. Where would we be if people started thinking they had freedom around here?
        life itself was a lightsaber in his hands; even in the face of treachery and death and hopes gone cold, he burned like a candle in the darkness. Like a star shining in the black eternity of space.

        Yoda: Dark Rendezvous

        "But those men who know anything at all about the Light also know that there is a fierceness to its power, like the bare sword of the law, or the white burning of the sun." Suddenly his voice sounded to Will very strong, and very Welsh. "At the very heart, that is. Other things, like humanity, and mercy, and charity, that most good men hold more precious than all else, they do not come first for the Light. Oh, sometimes they are there; often, indeed. But in the very long run the concern of you people is with the absolute good, ahead of all else..."

        John Rowlands, The Grey King by Susan Cooper

        "You come from the Lord Adam and the Lady Eve", said Aslan. "And that is both honour enough to erect the head of the poorest beggar, and shame enough to bow the shoulders of the greatest emperor on earth; be content."

        Aslan, Prince Caspian by CS Lewis


        Comment


          #19
          Re: A life without children

          Originally posted by MaskedOne View Post
          I mean, I have to be at least half as all-knowing as I pretend to be or people start thinking that there isn't an omnipresent oppressor just waiting to make object lessons for the smallest of excuses. Where would we be if people started thinking they had freedom around here?
          He who harvests the brains of others for pizza should always himself wear a helmet.
          sigpic
          Can you hear me, Major Tom? I think I love you.

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            #20
            Re: A life without children

            Originally posted by Hawkfeathers View Post
            He who harvests the brains of others for pizza should always himself wear a helmet.
            Those things are designed for mortal skulls. They don't really come in the appropriate form for extra-dimensional horrors. My meat puppets might enjoy them but meat puppets are expendable to start with.
            life itself was a lightsaber in his hands; even in the face of treachery and death and hopes gone cold, he burned like a candle in the darkness. Like a star shining in the black eternity of space.

            Yoda: Dark Rendezvous

            "But those men who know anything at all about the Light also know that there is a fierceness to its power, like the bare sword of the law, or the white burning of the sun." Suddenly his voice sounded to Will very strong, and very Welsh. "At the very heart, that is. Other things, like humanity, and mercy, and charity, that most good men hold more precious than all else, they do not come first for the Light. Oh, sometimes they are there; often, indeed. But in the very long run the concern of you people is with the absolute good, ahead of all else..."

            John Rowlands, The Grey King by Susan Cooper

            "You come from the Lord Adam and the Lady Eve", said Aslan. "And that is both honour enough to erect the head of the poorest beggar, and shame enough to bow the shoulders of the greatest emperor on earth; be content."

            Aslan, Prince Caspian by CS Lewis


            Comment


              #21
              Re: A life without children

              Originally posted by MaskedOne View Post
              Those things are designed for mortal skulls. They don't really come in the appropriate form for extra-dimensional horrors. My meat puppets might enjoy them but meat puppets are expendable to start with.
              Ah yes, I see. They function like egg cartons, to protect the future food. LMAO!

              Which kinda brings me back to the topic as I was reminded of kids and bicycle helmets. I think people who don't have kids have to be a lot tougher when it comes to standing up for themselves and such. It's easy to be out somewhere with a child and stop for ice cream, because of course the child can't do it alone. But to ask for oneself can cause anxiety in a very child-focused society. There's a kind of dance people do to maintain their own childhood enjoyment of things by "reliving" it through their kids. Well, the rest of us enjoy those things too, but if a single adult gets a ticket for the bumper cars at a carnival, they'll be looked at strangely. Adults aren't encouraged to actually PLAY unless children are involved, which is kinda sad.
              sigpic
              Can you hear me, Major Tom? I think I love you.

              Comment


                #22
                Re: A life without children

                Originally posted by Shahaku View Post
                I had a child, but it was a huge pain getting my tubes tied even so. I was 24. The doctor who performed the csection denied that the paperwork was on file for a tubal, so I had to come back months later for it. I had to go through the whole spiel with four different people (the nurse practitioner, the doctor at the clinic, the surgeon, then a second surgeon when my first was called off for an emergency c-section).

                All of them tried to talk me out of it. One of them asked what I would do if something happened to my baby... like, you do realize popping out another one doesn't replace the first or take away the pain of losing a kid, right?

                I was so done with their BS but needed the tubal. It's stupid.
                How long was the healing process? Did you get your tubes clamped, or removed? My surgery will be total removal of the fallopian tubes (a 0% pregnancy chance after), and I've been told it's pretty easy going...but the last time I had a "minor" surgery, it took me almost 3 months before I was back to normal.

                I'm not at all nervous about what I am doing to my body, but I am nervous about the procedure. I'm missing about a week of school, and my partner offered to come over and cook me a couple of meals, so that's really sweet of him. My roomie is taking care of me the day of, but yeah. A little nervous.


                Mostly art.

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                  #23
                  Re: A life without children

                  Had I been more lucky in love and relationships in my twenties and early thirties I would have loved to have a couple kids. But the older I got and the more I saw of my friends when they had kids, I took on a different thought which was "I'd rather spend my money on me" and not be tied down. As much as I would have liked kids, I don't think I would have been happy giving up my freedom, so I feel it was the right move for me.

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                    #24
                    Re: A life without children

                    I had surgery on Monday. It went well, but I don't think I realized just how frequently I use my ab muscles. It hurts to do everything.

                    Worth it. Zero babies in this person's future.


                    Mostly art.

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                      #25
                      Re: A life without children

                      Congrats, V. I know you've been looking forward to it. Blessings for a quick healing.
                      We are what we are. Nothing more, nothing less. There is good and evil among every kind of people. It's the evil among us who rule now. -Anne Bishop, Daughter of the Blood

                      I wondered if he could ever understand that it was a blessing, not a sin, to be graced with more than one love.
                      It could be complicated; of course it could be complicated. And it opened one up to the possibility of more pain and loss.
                      Still, it was a blessing I would never relinquish. Love, genuine love, was always a cause for joy.
                      -Jacqueline Carey, Naamah's Curse

                      Service to your fellows is the root of peace.

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                        #26
                        Re: A life without children

                        so good to hear the surgery went well - I am sure they told you but NO HEAVY LIFTING - this means no gallons of milk or water - buy half gallons - I have been through several abdominal surgeries - you do not want to risk getting hernias from lifting... be blessed

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                          #27
                          Re: A life without children

                          Originally posted by CottonIchor View Post
                          so good to hear the surgery went well - I am sure they told you but NO HEAVY LIFTING - this means no gallons of milk or water - buy half gallons - I have been through several abdominal surgeries - you do not want to risk getting hernias from lifting... be blessed
                          It's funny you say this...

                          They may have told me no heavy lifting, but I also don't remember any of the discharge instructions. I went to Costco last night with my roommate because I wanted a chance to walk further than the confines of the house, and I couldn't even lift a 10lb bag of sugar. I tried, and it was way too heavy for me. I've been (mostly) good about it. I want a fast recovery so I can a) start having sex again, but more importantly, b) go back to the gym quickly before I see too much loss of progress. Oh, and also, my job and all that.

                          My friends and roommates have all been really good - I have two friends alternating coming to pick my dog up for walks for me, the roomie has been helping me do my share of the housechores (and driving me places when I ask, since I don't think my reaction time is quite there yet), my partner (who is young and not very experienced with cooking) came over and made me a bunch of treats. I've got a good little network of humans making sure I don't fuck this up haha.


                          Mostly art.

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                            #28
                            Re: A life without children

                            I think that alot of people seek the "ideal life" because alot of people find happiness in it. I have five children. Living creatures tend to think that there's value in creating more life...imagine that.

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                              #29
                              Re: A life without children

                              Really happy for you! Hope you have a speedy recovery.
                              You remind me of the babe
                              What babe?
                              The babe with the power
                              What power?
                              The Power of voodoo
                              Who do?
                              You do!
                              Do what?
                              Remind me of the babe!

                              Army of Darkness: Guardians of the Chat

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                                #30
                                Re: A life without children

                                People can be incredibly insensitive regarding life choices such as having kids. As was stated, there are MANY reasons why you may want or not want to have kids. Some of us have a choice, and some of us don't. Nothing you can ever do will be good enough for some people. I had my daughter at age 33 (I'm 53 now) and I was very happy and also very overwhelmed with just her. I had people get on to me A LOT for only having one. They would say things like, "Don't do that to her" and "what if something happens to both you and your husband and she has no one..." just horrible things to say to someone, in my opinion.

                                Having a child or children is not something to be taken lightly at all, and I respect anyone's decision one way or the other. You are responsible for another human being - it's a huge responsibility. You will love them so much it's scary. With that said, I wouldn't change a thing.

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