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Thread: A life without children

  1. #21
    Supporter Hawkfeathers's Avatar
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    Re: A life without children

    Quote Originally Posted by MaskedOne View Post
    Those things are designed for mortal skulls. They don't really come in the appropriate form for extra-dimensional horrors. My meat puppets might enjoy them but meat puppets are expendable to start with.
    Ah yes, I see. They function like egg cartons, to protect the future food. LMAO!

    Which kinda brings me back to the topic as I was reminded of kids and bicycle helmets. I think people who don't have kids have to be a lot tougher when it comes to standing up for themselves and such. It's easy to be out somewhere with a child and stop for ice cream, because of course the child can't do it alone. But to ask for oneself can cause anxiety in a very child-focused society. There's a kind of dance people do to maintain their own childhood enjoyment of things by "reliving" it through their kids. Well, the rest of us enjoy those things too, but if a single adult gets a ticket for the bumper cars at a carnival, they'll be looked at strangely. Adults aren't encouraged to actually PLAY unless children are involved, which is kinda sad.

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  2. #22
    bibliophibian volcaniclastic's Avatar
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    Re: A life without children

    Quote Originally Posted by Shahaku View Post
    I had a child, but it was a huge pain getting my tubes tied even so. I was 24. The doctor who performed the csection denied that the paperwork was on file for a tubal, so I had to come back months later for it. I had to go through the whole spiel with four different people (the nurse practitioner, the doctor at the clinic, the surgeon, then a second surgeon when my first was called off for an emergency c-section).

    All of them tried to talk me out of it. One of them asked what I would do if something happened to my baby... like, you do realize popping out another one doesn't replace the first or take away the pain of losing a kid, right?

    I was so done with their BS but needed the tubal. It's stupid.
    How long was the healing process? Did you get your tubes clamped, or removed? My surgery will be total removal of the fallopian tubes (a 0% pregnancy chance after), and I've been told it's pretty easy going...but the last time I had a "minor" surgery, it took me almost 3 months before I was back to normal.

    I'm not at all nervous about what I am doing to my body, but I am nervous about the procedure. I'm missing about a week of school, and my partner offered to come over and cook me a couple of meals, so that's really sweet of him. My roomie is taking care of me the day of, but yeah. A little nervous.
    “The world is big and I want to have a good look at it before it gets dark.” – John Muir

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  3. #23
    Member Eryx_UK's Avatar
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    Re: A life without children

    Had I been more lucky in love and relationships in my twenties and early thirties I would have loved to have a couple kids. But the older I got and the more I saw of my friends when they had kids, I took on a different thought which was "I'd rather spend my money on me" and not be tied down. As much as I would have liked kids, I don't think I would have been happy giving up my freedom, so I feel it was the right move for me.

  4. #24
    bibliophibian volcaniclastic's Avatar
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    Re: A life without children

    I had surgery on Monday. It went well, but I don't think I realized just how frequently I use my ab muscles. It hurts to do everything.

    Worth it. Zero babies in this person's future.
    “The world is big and I want to have a good look at it before it gets dark.” – John Muir

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  5. #25
    Apprentice of Doom Shahaku's Avatar
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    Re: A life without children

    Congrats, V. I know you've been looking forward to it. Blessings for a quick healing.
    We are what we are. Nothing more, nothing less. There is good and evil among every kind of people. It's the evil among us who rule now. -Anne Bishop, Daughter of the Blood

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    It could be complicated; of course it could be complicated. And it opened one up to the possibility of more pain and loss.
    Still, it was a blessing I would never relinquish. Love, genuine love, was always a cause for joy.
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  6. #26
    Member CottonIchor's Avatar
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    Re: A life without children

    so good to hear the surgery went well - I am sure they told you but NO HEAVY LIFTING - this means no gallons of milk or water - buy half gallons - I have been through several abdominal surgeries - you do not want to risk getting hernias from lifting... be blessed

  7. #27
    bibliophibian volcaniclastic's Avatar
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    Re: A life without children

    Quote Originally Posted by CottonIchor View Post
    so good to hear the surgery went well - I am sure they told you but NO HEAVY LIFTING - this means no gallons of milk or water - buy half gallons - I have been through several abdominal surgeries - you do not want to risk getting hernias from lifting... be blessed
    It's funny you say this...

    They may have told me no heavy lifting, but I also don't remember any of the discharge instructions. I went to Costco last night with my roommate because I wanted a chance to walk further than the confines of the house, and I couldn't even lift a 10lb bag of sugar. I tried, and it was way too heavy for me. I've been (mostly) good about it. I want a fast recovery so I can a) start having sex again, but more importantly, b) go back to the gym quickly before I see too much loss of progress. Oh, and also, my job and all that.

    My friends and roommates have all been really good - I have two friends alternating coming to pick my dog up for walks for me, the roomie has been helping me do my share of the housechores (and driving me places when I ask, since I don't think my reaction time is quite there yet), my partner (who is young and not very experienced with cooking) came over and made me a bunch of treats. I've got a good little network of humans making sure I don't fuck this up haha.
    “The world is big and I want to have a good look at it before it gets dark.” – John Muir

    Mostly art.

  8. #28

    Re: A life without children

    I think that alot of people seek the "ideal life" because alot of people find happiness in it. I have five children. Living creatures tend to think that there's value in creating more life...imagine that.

  9. #29
    Silver Member iris's Avatar
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    Re: A life without children

    Really happy for you! Hope you have a speedy recovery.
    You remind me of the babe
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  10. #30
    Newbie Zephyr's Avatar
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    Re: A life without children

    People can be incredibly insensitive regarding life choices such as having kids. As was stated, there are MANY reasons why you may want or not want to have kids. Some of us have a choice, and some of us don't. Nothing you can ever do will be good enough for some people. I had my daughter at age 33 (I'm 53 now) and I was very happy and also very overwhelmed with just her. I had people get on to me A LOT for only having one. They would say things like, "Don't do that to her" and "what if something happens to both you and your husband and she has no one..." just horrible things to say to someone, in my opinion.

    Having a child or children is not something to be taken lightly at all, and I respect anyone's decision one way or the other. You are responsible for another human being - it's a huge responsibility. You will love them so much it's scary. With that said, I wouldn't change a thing.

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