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Thread: My Female Co-Worker Is Being Abused At My Job

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    Silver Member Bartmanhomer's Avatar
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    My Female Co-Worker Is Being Abused At My Job

    Ok, I never thought that I'm going to post this type of thread but one of my female co-workers at my job has been complaining that her supervisor is being verbally abusive to her for my mistake instead of them telling me my mistakes. And this has been an on-going issue for weeks now. I told her to complain to Human Resources about this problem but she said it was useless and she already tried it. I don't know what to do at this point, can anyone give me some good advice on how to resolve this issue, please?

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    Apprentice of Doom Shahaku's Avatar
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    Re: My Female Co-Worker Is Being Abused At My Job

    There's isn't enough info here to really help you. She can always report it outside the company if the company won't do anything about it, but she'll probably lose her job.

    Does the supervisor think she's making the mistakes? Why aren't they addressing it to you directly? Are they venting inappropriately? Have you talked to the supervisor about it? Are you working on fixing these mistakes?
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    Silver Member Bartmanhomer's Avatar
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    Re: My Female Co-Worker Is Being Abused At My Job

    Quote Originally Posted by Shahaku View Post
    There's isn't enough info here to help you. She can always report it outside the company if the company won't do anything about it, but she'll probably lose her job.

    Does the supervisor think she's making the mistakes? Why aren't they addressing it to you directly? Are they venting inappropriately? Have you talked to the supervisor about it? Are you working on fixing these mistakes?
    Of course, I'm working on my mistakes. I don't know why they didn't address it personally. I take my job very seriously. What I do at my job is to check people's temperature for only people who work at my job and sign their name in their book and ask them if they have COVID.

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    Silver Member monsno_leedra's Avatar
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    Re: My Female Co-Worker Is Being Abused At My Job

    Honestly BMH there is not enough here to even make a suggestion about.

    If she is complaining to you then is she truly being "B*tched" at or is she using that as a motivator to correct you? Definitely unprofessional for her to be coming to you and complaining about her boss. Even more unprofessional to be complaining about the HR department and their lack of response if she is in fact complaining. From a professional perspective honestly would make me question if she has even gone to her supervisor or HR with a complaint.

    However, I have seen that used as an indirect method to "motivate" and "chastise" someone who you are responsible for. It's part of the guilt trip method of doing things. You get them to step up and improve hopefully by suggesting you are being harmed through their irresponsible actions since you are directly responsible for them and / or their training.

    Sometimes it is effective, sometimes its not. Depends upon the person it's being directed at and their ethics to be honest.

    But like I said to little info here in my opinion to really say one way or the other.
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    PF Ordo Hereticus MaskedOne's Avatar
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    Re: My Female Co-Worker Is Being Abused At My Job

    Quote Originally Posted by monsno_leedra View Post
    However, I have seen that used as an indirect method to "motivate" and "chastise" someone who you are responsible for. It's part of the guilt trip method of doing things. You get them to step up and improve hopefully by suggesting you are being harmed through their irresponsible actions since you are directly responsible for them and / or their training.

    Sometimes it is effective, sometimes its not. Depends upon the person it's being directed at and their ethics to be honest.
    I've never seen much point in this trick. I'm generally not suffering for the foul-ups of trainees and other coworkers except possibly to do extra work cleaning up after them and I can't be bothered to pretend I will. My warnings tend to be in the form of, "<insert GM's name> has limited patience for fixing people's screw-ups. Get it right because when her patience runs out then she's going to send back everything connected to your position that's been done wrong and order you to fix it. She'll keep doing this till you stop screwing up." As I've actually seen the woman do this and once years ago, she did it to me, it has the benefit of being completely honest. I'm quite fond of my boss but her patience for stupidity has limits and it's best to be somewhere else when she finally reaches them.

    Regarding the OP, is the coworker in question a supervisor herself catching flak from an overall manager or is she one of your peers?
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    Silver Member Bartmanhomer's Avatar
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    Re: My Female Co-Worker Is Being Abused At My Job

    Quote Originally Posted by MaskedOne View Post
    I've never seen much point in this trick. I'm generally not suffering for the foul-ups of trainees and other coworkers except possibly to do extra work cleaning up after them and I can't be bothered to pretend I will. My warnings tend to be in the form of, "<insert GM's name> has limited patience for fixing people's screw-ups. Get it right because when her patience runs out then she's going to send back everything connected to your position that's been done wrong and order you to fix it. She'll keep doing this till you stop screwing up." As I've actually seen the woman do this and once years ago, she did it to me, it has the benefit of being completely honest. I'm quite fond of my boss but her patience for stupidity has limits and it's best to be somewhere else when she finally reaches them.

    Regarding the OP, is the coworker in question a supervisor herself catching flak from an overall manager or is she one of your peers?
    She's one of my peers.

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    Silver Member monsno_leedra's Avatar
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    Re: My Female Co-Worker Is Being Abused At My Job

    Quote Originally Posted by MaskedOne View Post
    I've never seen much point in this trick. I'm generally not suffering for the foul-ups of trainees and other coworkers except possibly to do extra work cleaning up after them and I can't be bothered to pretend I will. My warnings tend to be in the form of, "<insert GM's name> has limited patience for fixing people's screw-ups. Get it right because when her patience runs out then she's going to send back everything connected to your position that's been done wrong and order you to fix it. She'll keep doing this till you stop screwing up." As I've actually seen the woman do this and once years ago, she did it to me, it has the benefit of being completely honest. I'm quite fond of my boss but her patience for stupidity has limits and it's best to be somewhere else when she finally reaches them.

    Regarding the OP, is the coworker in question a supervisor herself catching flak from an overall manager or is she one of your peers?

    Truthfully never saw much use of that tactic myself.

    On the civilian side it was usually employed by mostly women who were acting like mothers to the sub-performing employee. I think they though they were protecting them to be honest. Either they were taking on the responsibility and at times the accountability for the sub-performing employee. That, or they used the tactic to try and encourage the employee to do better by acting like it was them who was suffering because of the employee doing poorly.

    In the military it seemed to be those who disliked confrontation. Many times junior personnel who were assigned supervisory roles over the person but didn't want to confront the person about their lack of performance. To avoid taking a supervisory role thus avoiding confronting the person they claimed they were the ones getting called to task. That or like the mothering role they used it to try and encourage the person to do better vice actually supervising the person and holding them accountable for their actions or lack there of.

    But as I said above BMH really doesn't give enough info in his posting to say either way IMHO. We can't say if the female is being punished and HR fails to do anything or if she is really being punished at all. She could just be crying to BMH trying to get him to change for all we know. Truthfully we don't even know that based upon a one sided story.

    - - - Updated - - -

    Quote Originally Posted by Bartmanhomer View Post
    She's one of my peers.
    BMH, you ever thought that maybe your her scape-goat? Instead of them being your errors and she doesn't go to HR because they aren't complaining about you they are complaining about her. Don't know what the so called abuse is but from being a supervisor one of the most common things I heard was it was not my fought it was someone else's. Many times they didn't go to HR because they couldn't push that lie to HR when the facts were staring them in the face.

    - - - Updated - - -

    Quote Originally Posted by Bartmanhomer View Post
    She's one of my peers.
    BMH, you ever thought that maybe your her scape-goat? Instead of them being your errors and she doesn't go to HR because they aren't complaining about you they are complaining about her. Don't know what the so called abuse is but from being a supervisor one of the most common things I heard was it was not my fought it was someone else's. Many times they didn't go to HR because they couldn't push that lie to HR when the facts were staring them in the face.
    I'm Only Responsible For What I Say Not For What Or How You Understand!

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