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Basketball Quagmire

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    Basketball Quagmire

    My oldest (7th grade) daughter tried out for the basketball team, and made it. I was thrilled and proud of her. After the second practice, she came in the door, sat down, and started crying. I asked her what happened, did someone do something to hurt her? She told me that the coach started out the practice with a prayer session, that everyone was asked to say the Lord's Prayer. She said she just kinda mumbled it because she didn't know all of it. After the prayer, the coach said "If you are not a religious person, the basketball team is not the place for you." I can not begin to describe the rage that built up in me in that moment, but I breathed deeply and thought about how I should handle this.

    Now, I am openly pagan living in the backwaters of Georgia. I am used to criticism and outright bigotry. I have raised my children to be open-minded but skeptical. Some time last year, my daughter decided that she is atheist (which I fully support). I told her to be careful what she says when she is approached about her beliefs, but she was open about it last year and it spread like wildfire and was just as painful when it came back on her. Pretty much all of her class knows about it.

    This incident is especially difficult, though. I asked her if she wanted me to talk to the coach, but she insisted she would be ok, that I didn't have to say anything. She says that she respects their beliefs and would just mumble along. I feel contrary to that. I think that religion should not play a determining role in a public school basketball team. I don't think a child should have to fake religious views in order to maintain a position on the team. Shouldn't a religious practice be optional, not coerced? I want her beliefs to be respected as equally as she respects those of others. However, I do not want to pick a battle that will adversely affect her.

    Any thoughts of how I could handle this diplomatically?

    #2
    Re: Basketball Quagmire

    I'd talk to the principal and let him know your concerns. If you start going to a bunch of different people and not the person who can do something about this, it will end up being a big gossip fest. Explain to your daughter this isn't about emotions or fitting in etc. It's about THE LAW. Try to be as calm as possible. Don't let it be about having your Pagan beliefs etc etc. It's about the LAW. Anything otherwise will end up making it a side track issue. Know what I mean? And good luck!
    Satan is my spirit animal

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      #3
      Re: Basketball Quagmire

      Pretty much what Medusa said. That's some serious discrimination, there. If the school is a public school, funded by tax-payer dollars, you have a couple of legs to stand on & need to make your case to the principal/dean/board of administrators. If nothing gets done, contact a local ACLU office - they might have some extra resources for you.
      Last edited by Ophidia; 09 Nov 2011, 18:25.
      The forum member formerly known as perzephone. Or Perze. I've shed a skin.

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        #4
        Re: Basketball Quagmire

        Oh, wow...I think you've gotten some good advice...good luck!
        Great Grandmother's Kitchen

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          #5
          Re: Basketball Quagmire

          That's totally unacceptable in a public school. I'd talk to the principal and if that falls on deaf ears, I'd make a ton of noise about it to whatever body governs schools over there.

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            #6
            Re: Basketball Quagmire

            Thank you all for the wonderful advice. I'll update once I follow up to see what is going to be done about it. The principal said the issue would have to be brought up during a closed-door BOE session.

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              #7
              Re: Basketball Quagmire

              It is totally unacceptable, it is discrimination, and it is also illegal.

              However, you can not force people to be reasonable, even with the law on your side. If you decide to fight it out, you may be able to end the public display of bigotry, but that is likely to force it underground where it is much harder to deal with, and can actually cause it to become more overtly vicious.

              If this is the kind of fight that you want you and your daughter to be involved in for a long time, then do it. But if you let it go, it might well be far easier in the long run.

              It's your choice, but do consider all the possible likely outcomes before you decide.
              Every moment of a life is a horrible tragedy, a slapstick comedy, dark nihilism, golden illumination, or nothing at all; depending on how we write the story we tell ourselves.

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