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Coming out of the Broom Closet

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    #61
    Re: Coming out of the Broom Closet

    [quote author=Amelia-Mary link=topic=49.msg29490#msg29490 date=1295382699]
    You'll be fine, Good luck x
    [/quote]

    Thanks. I'm hoping and praying.

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      #62
      Re: Coming out of the Broom Closet

      I'll light a candle for you aswell
      "Otwarty świat; rany zamknięte."
      - Open world; Wounds closed.

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        #63
        Re: Coming out of the Broom Closet

        Thank you, I really appreciate it. I'll let everyone know how it goes.

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          #64
          Re: Coming out of the Broom Closet

          Sorry this is kinda long...

          So, I've been some form of pagan since I was eleven, and for those counting: it's been ten years, nearly half of my life, and never once have I mentioned this to my family. My friends know (kind of), but when it comes to conversations with family, especially my parents, I don't say I don't believe in God, but I don't say I do either. I avoid the topic like the plague. It's worked, mostly.

          But my life is different now. I got "sick," I was hospitalized, and it's been two months since and I still don't feel the same as I did, and I'm damn tired of skirting the subject and hiding. It takes too much effort to avoid these things. I'm moving in with my mother, my (Catholic) uncle (my mother's brother, for the record) and his two daughters soon, and I want an alter, I want to wear my pagan symbols without skirting the issue when asked about them. I want my family to know, because it means something to me, and I want to be part of their lives with the first time in my life.

          My problem is I don't know where to begin. My father will probably freak out, but I won't be living with him anymore next week anyway. My mother probably won't care, but I don't want my uncle to think I'm going to be a bad influence of his kids. I don't want to have, like, some epic sit-down conversation, but I don't know if suddenly having an alter and just answering religious questions truthfully will be better or worse. It's stressing me out, a little.

          Also: Therapists/psychaitrists/case-workers like to ask about what religion you are, and I'm switching to a new program next week. Normally when they ask me about religion I say I have none, but I feel like maybe I should be truthful? Does it MATTER? I'm scared that my therapist won't understand I have legit beliefs and this isn't some outcry/manifestation of my being mentally ill. I mean, you say you belief in one God, and therapists sign you up for fifty-thousand Church-basement groups, but I feel like mentioning that I have, like, spirit guides and what-not will just get me more medication and questions about whether this is me acting out for attention because I have this-personality-disorder-or-another. I know I probably SHOULDN'T worry, but the mental health system is a strange and backwards place (and often involves church basements).

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            #65
            Re: Coming out of the Broom Closet

            I'm happy to see you are well enough to get out of the hospital. I hope you have recovered or are recovering well.

            Originally posted by Anu View Post

            My problem is I don't know where to begin. My father will probably freak out, but I won't be living with him anymore next week anyway. My mother probably won't care, but I don't want my uncle to think I'm going to be a bad influence of his kids. I don't want to have, like, some epic sit-down conversation, but I don't know if suddenly having an alter and just answering religious questions truthfully will be better or worse. It's stressing me out, a little.
            Without knowing your family it's hard to say. Even then things are still dicey. My family was ok with my religious views and my dad even defended my views. That was, until I performed rituals. Then they got uncomfortable. You have to consider how often they asked you about your religious views. They may have had an inkling years before you realize.

            Also: Therapists/psychaitrists/case-workers like to ask about what religion you are, and I'm switching to a new program next week. Normally when they ask me about religion I say I have none, but I feel like maybe I should be truthful? Does it MATTER? I'm scared that my therapist won't understand I have legit beliefs and this isn't some outcry/manifestation of my being mentally ill. I mean, you say you belief in one God, and therapists sign you up for fifty-thousand Church-basement groups, but I feel like mentioning that I have, like, spirit guides and what-not will just get me more medication and questions about whether this is me acting out for attention because I have this-personality-disorder-or-another. I know I probably SHOULDN'T worry, but the mental health system is a strange and backwards place (and often involves church basements).
            I've never had an experience with a therapist save speech therapists, but for what it's worth I know a couple and those who have gone to one...or many. The therapist is allegedly asking to rule out certain conditions (do they have a belief that anyone can speak to God, or do they think God's divine plan is for them to start a hamster circus?) Also sometimes having a like-viewed group (at least in religious views) can help some people.

            This article seems helpful on the topic:


            Wanted to add this one too:
            Last edited by Caelia; 02 Feb 2011, 14:18.
            my etsy store
            My blog


            "...leave me curled up in my ball,
            surrounded by plush, downy things,
            ill prepared, but willing,
            to descend."

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              #66
              Re: Coming out of the Broom Closet

              I'm not really in the broom closet but I am not really out of it either. When I first started out I was 17 and still living at home so I told my parents almost straight away. It was more of a 'this is what I've been reading and I think I might be really interested in exploring it more' than anything else. My parents have always been great believers in letting their kids find their own paths in life so other than a discussion about not getting involved in any dangerous cults they were fine with it.
              I also went through that almost typical newbie stage of wanting to tell everyone who sat still for too long but found most people really weren't that interested.

              Now I don't really discuss it at all. If people ask I am happy to tell them I am currently trying to work it out but have definite Pagan leanings. The thing is, most people just don't ask. The only aside to that is when it comes to relationships, I have just started seeing someone new who is not, and I quote, 'a fan of religion' so it is difficult to know when and if it should be brought up.
              http://thefeministpagan.blogspot.co.uk/

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                #67
                Re: Coming out of the Broom Closet

                Originally posted by Caelia View Post
                I'm happy to see you are well enough to get out of the hospital. I hope you have recovered or are recovering well.

                I've never had an experience with a therapist save speech therapists, but for what it's worth I know a couple and those who have gone to one...or many. The therapist is allegedly asking to rule out certain conditions (do they have a belief that anyone can speak to God, or do they think God's divine plan is for them to start a hamster circus?) Also sometimes having a like-viewed group (at least in religious views) can help some people.

                This article seems helpful on the topic:


                Wanted to add this one too:
                http://www.depression-guide.com/therapist.htm
                Oh, I am well-versed on finding a therapist. I'm on my third or fourth one in three months? Third psychiatrist. Third case-worker. And this isn't even counting the doctors I had while in the hospital (I was in the psych ward, for the record). I think my primary worry come from the fact a lot of therapists don't know what to do with me to begin with. It's one thing if I just had depression, but because I'm borderline, too, almost everything I say or do gets questioned (often with good reason, mind), and while I've been pagan for many years before my diagnosis, it's hard to judge a therapist's response to something they aren't used to. My new therapist is a wonderful man, and actually helped me while in the hospital/in various programs, despite not being one of his patients. That's part of the reasons I'm switching to him. But I still have that worry that while he seems adept at dealing with the rest of my problems, the mental health facilities here are still very Christian/Jewish-centered, and he'll have an adverse response.

                Comment


                  #68
                  Re: Coming out of the Broom Closet

                  Firstly, I just want to say Anu, I wish you all the best with what's going on. I've been dealing with the mental health hoops for 11 years now (you and I are about the same age, if my math is right) and it's never easy. Congrats on being well enough to be out of the hospital and I hope things are looking up for you. As far as therapists go, since I've been Pagan I've only had two and both were very open to the idea, though a little surprised. They are poor therapists if they can't work with someone and put the effort into helping them just because of a difference in religion. If you're worried about some of your Pagan practices coming across as mental illness (I worry about this sometimes myself), leave them out, at least until you know your therapist better and are more comfortable sharing with them. Nothing wrong with saying "Pagan," and leaving it at that or giving them a brief, cut-and-dried description of the umbrella term "Pagan" or "Neo-Paganism." I very openly say it, but I also don't go into details of meditations in which I talk to deities and spirit guides or that I do spellwork,etc. ... Just my two cents.

                  But on the topic of my own coming out of the broom closet...I've been some form of Pagan since I was 16 and I've always been open with my friends about it. My family is another story (all Christians), but I've tried telling my mother. She knew I was looking into Christo-Paganism for awhile (long ago) and that I had Paganish ideas about deity being both male and female. I think she saw it as a phase, much like the one she went through right after high school where she said she "dabbled" in witchcraft. No clue to this day what she meant by that. After that we never really talked about religion.

                  So here's where it gets weird...*does the please please pleeeeeeeeease can I vent dance*...

                  The past few weeks I've been dropping hints about being Pagan to my Christian mother. They started out as very subtle hints and then got bigger and bigger, but I was still erring on the side of caution in case she had a major blowup about it. I've told her I'm lucid dreaming quite often now. We talk about spirits and meditation and mythology a lot. Two weeks ago we had an argument 'cause I couldn't get her to understand why "Paganism" is more of an umbrella term for lots of beliefs than one single religion. I've specifically mentioned awful dreams I've had in the last year where I've told my biological father that "I'm not a Christian" and he tries to kill me. I use the word Pagan in every day conversation, like the other day when I pondered aloud to her about whether or not the PAGAN holiday of Imbolc had any significant connections to Groundhog's day. Yesterday, after reading the Kemetic forums here, I told her all about the Egyptian afterlife for half an hour (but then started talking about wolpertingers in Germany, so maybe she thought I was on some mythology kick?). I really don't know many more ways to fit Pagan topics into every day conversation without feeling like some fanatic who is beating her over the head with an I'M PAGAN LOOK AT ME! hammer.

                  *sigh* So today we were in the car talking about religion and religious extremes and religious tolerance...I told her about this one time downtown where I live, when these guys were handing out mini New Testament Bibles. I told my mom how I told them I already had several copies of the Bible (true) and that they should give it to someone who could really appreciate it. "I didn't want to be like, 'I'm not a Christian, I don't want one,' because I was trying to be polite," I said to her. She keeps talking for another 2-3 minutes, stops dead after her last sentence and says, "So you've decided you're not a Christian anymore?" *face palm* "I told you that, Mom. This has been kind of an ongoing thing..." Then five minutes of awkward silence, which I eventually called her out on, and she said she wasn't trying to be awkward and then started talking about what movies we were going to rent.

                  So now I'm sorta out to my mom and have no idea where to go with this...ugh. Keep in mind (I've picked this up in conversations with her) that my mother's idea of "real Paganism" is what she saw in Mists of Avalon.

                  Comment


                    #69
                    Re: Coming out of the Broom Closet

                    Just wanted to give you an update of my situation: I saw my parents, and though they kept trying to get me alone, I didn't let them. Ultimately the subject wasn't brought up *big sigh*. It seems they are going to ignore it and hope it goes away, which is fine with me.

                    Comment


                      #70
                      Re: Coming out of the Broom Closet

                      I recently de-friended some Christian cultists on fb, boy were they weird. Intolerant, cruel, harassing, etc. Jesus would smack them upside the head. LOL
                      sigpic
                      Can you hear me, Major Tom? I think I love you.

                      Comment


                        #71
                        Re: Coming out of the Broom Closet

                        Reminds me of the old bumper sticker that said something like, " God protect us from your followers."
                        Sleep, my friend, and you will see
                        That dream is my reality

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                          #72
                          Re: Coming out of the Broom Closet

                          Originally posted by calfhill View Post
                          Reminds me of the old bumper sticker that said something like, " God protect us from your followers."
                          Exactly. It's one thing to have house rules for your own house, but these folks wanted to impose them on everyone's house.
                          sigpic
                          Can you hear me, Major Tom? I think I love you.

                          Comment


                            #73
                            International Pagan Coming Out Day

                            found out about this on http://wildhunt.org/blog/2011/02/pag...-and-more.html

                            The article has links to the organization and some more information. I strongly suggest anyone in the broom closet - or anyone with friends in there - take a look and consider coming out this May to stand proud with your fellow pagans.
                            Be Excellent to each other - or something will Happen to you.

                            Comment


                              #74
                              Re: International Pagan Coming Out Day

                              Almost everyone who knows me, knows that I am Pagan--even at work. The difficulty with wearing my Pentacle out at work is that most of our customers are Christians. Bad for business. Yes, I know that I can't get fired for it, but I want our store to continue to be successful. At least all of my friends and almost all of my family know. (The exception being Mom. She would blame herself for me falling away from the "one true God.")
                              Sleep, my friend, and you will see
                              That dream is my reality

                              Comment


                                #75
                                Re: Coming out of the Broom Closet

                                I'm not secretive about my religion, but I'm not very chatty about it either. There are certain people I refuse to discuss the topic with because it just causes pointless aggravation. My mother is a good example of this- about eight years ago she found out that I had been researching pagan religions and threw a crying fit. Not so much because she's religious and feared for my soul, but because paganism isn't respectable and we are a respectable family, darnit. It wasn't pretty and since then she's chosen a state of denial, which suits me fine. I ignore her denial and everybody gets along during the holidays, yay.

                                Most people I don't bring it up unless asked and even then I keep my answers short and simple. I like people to get to know me as the fairly normal person I am first since I'm aware of the snap judgements that can be made when words like "pagan" come into the picture. The most challenging relationship issues I've had stem from my hubby who is deeply uncomfortable with religion and is very big on fitting in now that we live in his small, childhood community.
                                "Gardens are not made by singing "Oh, how beautiful," and sitting in the shade." - Rudyard Kipling

                                Mathbatu: A Canaanite Polytheist's Blog
                                Sparrow Wings: A Personal Blog

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