why not practice polygyny?

[anunitu]

Re: why not practice polygyny?

I kinda got from that opening post....I want it,I want it,why can't I have it.....Not so much asking about where monogamy started or what social issues allowed more than one wife. Sometimes it was a matter of having a lot of kids to help with farm work,and easier sharing the births among many women rather than one woman having 20 kids. Many kids didn't live past 5-10 years. When the living got easier,and not to many died young,you could have a single wife.

[Yazichestvo]

Re: why not practice polygyny?

I'll grant that Christianity definitely amped up the stigma associated with having multiple partners. I don't think there should be a stigma. It's fine in theory, but putting it into practice is another thing altogether.

However, as others have more-or-less said, it's a little simplistic to say that we are naturally polygynous. As a man, I'll admit we have the drive to be polygynous, but there are other motivations that conflict with it, like not wanting to hurt the woman we're with This makes biological sense: there are evolutionary benefits to spreading your seed far and wide, but there are also evolutionary benefits to staying and caring for your mate and offspring. In nature we see this trade-off frequently.

[Medusa]

Re: why not practice polygyny?

I'm a Satanist. Yet I believe in monogamy.
I also believe in Mahogany..do you know...where you're going to......

[GabrielWithoutWings]

Re: why not practice polygyny?

I'll grant that Christianity definitely amped up the stigma associated with having multiple partners. I don't think there should be a stigma. It's fine in theory, but putting it into practice is another thing altogether.

I'm not sure why. It can be inferred that the practice wasn't frowned upon at first.

This is a true saying: If a man desire the office of bishop, he desireth a good work. A bishop then must be blameless, the husband of one wife, vigilant, sober, of good behavior, given to hospitality, apt at teaching; not given to wine, not violent, not greedy for filthy lucre, but patient, not a brawler, not covetous; one who ruleth well his own house, having his children in subjection with all dignity.

[Omidottir]

Re: why not practice polygyny?

Here's a running joke at our house. I'm not sure how accurate the info is, but it's funny.

"The Chinese symbol for happiness is a house with a woman and a pig under the roof. The symbol for unhappiness is a house with two women under the roof."

[Jembru]

Re: why not practice polygyny?

Here's a running joke at our house. I'm not sure how accurate the info is, but it's funny.

"The Chinese symbol for happiness is a house with a woman and a pig under the roof. The symbol for unhappiness is a house with two women under the roof."

I wish my kanji was good enough to know which symbols this refers to. Neither of the kanji I know for 'happy' and 'sad' look like a house to me. I'm scared of centipedes, so I remember 'sad', 悲 as the symbol for heart with a centipede on it's head ^^

There will be other kanji I don't know though, because what I know is like the equivalent of knowing the Roman alphabet from A to E and only being able to read words with these letters in. ^^

Oh but there is one thing that is similar to what you're saying. Although not Chinese, the Japanese have a saying based on the kanji 姦 (Japanese uses Chinese characters too write btw)...

'Onna sannin yoreba kashimashii'

This means something like, 'When there are three women, there is chaos' (I wanted to say 'a racket' but I don't know if this expression is used outside the UK.. it means kinda stressfully noisy anyway)..

That kanji actually IS three ladies and none of the words it is used in have pleasant meanings. Kinda sexist but who am I to argue with an ancient writing system? Although I don't know, a lot of Japanese sayings are translations of Chinese ones, so this might be similar to your saying. There are a few members here who could possibly clear that up.

Either way, this saying would certainly imply that the idea of having more than one woman in a home, doesn't sit well with Japanese (and probably Chinese) men!

[anunitu]

Re: why not practice polygyny?

All that works(many women in a house) when women were property,BUT came the revolution when women were set free,men suddenly heard this. "Who was that blonde you were talking to at the pool(angry crazy look), Where were you,did you go to the bar again?,I have to buy you some good cloths,you embarrass me when we are out...Ok,Ok we guys know we make you ladies crazy,we kinda do it on propose,cause inside we are still 5 years old.

[Yazichestvo]

Re: why not practice polygyny?

I'm not sure why. It can be inferred that the practice wasn't frowned upon at first.

You must know why. There may have been Christians who allowed for such things, especially when they were first converting heathens, and didn't want to force too much change on them at once. For instance, many of the first Christian rulers could get away with it. Yet the condemnation of polygamy in Christianity goes back way before the medieval period. The New Testament does seem to put monogamous marriage on a pedestal.

[Gunnarr]

Re: why not practice polygyny?

friends monogamy was a christian invention.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Polygyny#Christianity

before christianity, Europe was a polygynous nation. roman emperors and wealthy men of Rome used to marry more than one woman.if we give up all religion, why we stick to monogamy which is solely christian contribution?


man is not made to be happy with one woman. that's why he always seeks new woman. the widespread practice of adultery, bigamy, concubine are the evidence of man's nature. if man is so made to be happy with one woman, all the above mentioned offenses will not exist.

in the country where polyandry was practiced, there also men are attracted by other women. this also shows that man is made to be polygynous.

why not be polygynous again?

what do you think?

This generalisation is not right the southern aspect of europe might have practiced this polygyny, but I would be interested in a reference to this happening within Northen Europe. When I say credible I mean a book that is well respected.

As for the rest of the OP it may just be this mans nature, it is certainly not mine, and the use of a genetic fallacy is weak.

[thalassa]

Re: why not practice polygyny?

Mating systems among humans appear to be best linked to inheritance issues and how different cultures address them, tbh.

[B. de Corbin]

Re: why not practice polygyny?

Mating systems among humans appear to be best linked to inheritance issues and how different cultures address them, tbh.

True in terms of the specific way they manifest - they manifest to suite the needs of a particular culture at a particular time. But, if you take the range of variations in the ways humans arrange these things, you'll also have a good grasp of the range of arrangements that constitute "human normal." One can not impose, except through draconian means, arrangements that are not within the range of human normal (i.e. - what a majority can find palatable). That's why, I'd think, that priests have such a hard time being celibate - because, while there are people who can live perfectly happily celibate, they are a minority (i.e. - most people do not find celibacy palatable), and so counting on people's willingness to self police is a bit foolish, or idealistic... Unless one is willing to pre-select very carefully.

[Taliesyn]

Re: why not practice polygyny?

my two cents? If there was a woman (or man) that omisdottir and I loved as much as each other, and wanted to have that relationship with, both other peole would have to hit me over the head with a stick and drag me down before i would even consider the idea. I am not sticing my foot willingly in that. If you can get it to work for you, fine. I tried it once, it was like Asopes dog with the bone, you know? I am very content with what I have

---------- Post added at 07:36 AM ---------- Previous post was at 07:34 AM ----------

Here's a running joke at our house. I'm not sure how accurate the info is, but it's funny.

"The Chinese symbol for happiness is a house with a woman and a pig under the roof. The symbol for unhappiness is a house with two women under the roof."

I got this from the novel "shogun" . I dont know if it's accurate either, but it's funny.

[Madness]

Re: why not practice polygyny?

I've always thought that the fact that childbirth was rather dangerous lead to more polygamous relationships in ancient cultures. If you had a bunch of kids and your wife dies, who is take care of them? Wife number two of course! It actually makes sense from a family continuity standpoint back then. Now it seems that it has more propensity to be disruptive to the family unit - but that could be because of our cultural bias against it.

[Dez]

Re: why not practice polygyny?

I've always thought that the fact that childbirth was rather dangerous lead to more polygamous relationships in ancient cultures. If you had a bunch of kids and your wife dies, who is take care of them? Wife number two of course! It actually makes sense from a family continuity standpoint back then. Now it seems that it has more propensity to be disruptive to the family unit - but that could be because of our cultural bias against it.

Good point, madness. Notice, too, that it's men in power like kings and emperors, or the most wealthy guy in the village, who had more then one wife or concubines. I really don't think it's ever been "everyone" in a particular culture. At that point, it's on par with serial monogamists like Limbaugh.

[Gunnarr]

Re: why not practice polygyny?

Good point, madness. Notice, too, that it's men in power like kings and emperors, or the most wealthy guy in the village, who had more then one wife or concubines. I really don't think it's ever been "everyone" in a particular culture. At that point, it's on par with serial monogamists like Limbaugh.

Dez,

Can you provide some references for your post as it is an interesting observation, and since we are both interested in the Norse references in that area would be preferable.

Thanks in advance