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Resources for Pre-Parent Planning?

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    Resources for Pre-Parent Planning?

    Hello,

    If you've read my intro thread you may already know but...

    My husband and I have been married for almost 2 years now and together for 5 and are now discussing having a baby tentatively next year.
    I'm a planner so I'm already looking for stuff to have an idea about the pregnancy, birth, parenting, and so on.
    There isn't a manual out there for Granola-Hippy Mom, Alpha-Male Dad and how to raise a baby in a a pagan polyamorist organic household...or I would have found it by now surely!
    So I'm looking for resources.
    I'd love some on pagan parenting, poly-household parenting (we have a girlfriend who may or may not want to be more involved with the process...we're talking about it), natural home birthing, attachment parenting, minimalist parenting, evacuation communication or diaper free baby, midwifery, organic parenting, breastfeeding, etc.
    There's just sooooo much information out there but so much of it is conflicting and it makes my head spin. I would love to know if there were any websites or books that you all feel are the go-to guides for any topic in pregnancy, birth or parenting. I know no one site or book is gonna cover everything I need but even if one site covers one topic I'm considering it would be super helpful.

    thanks,
    Dawn

    #2
    Re: Resources for Pre-Parent Planning?

    Hey there DCorobane!

    I'm afraid you won't get much help from me...one of the biggest lessons I have learned at this point is that with parenting, at least half of what you expect to happen will go right out the window.

    Not a big fan of concepts like evacuation communication, either, so I'm going to skip that, but what works best for me has been attachment parenting concepts while my children were babies (I agree with the idea that it is impossible to spoil a baby), giving them a strong foundation to encourage independence once they start getting to toddler stages. One of the best ways to do that I found was using slings and other forms of baby carrying, rather then carting them around in carriers and strollers all the time. If you are interested in that, I'd be happy to share some links and/or patterns, as getting something like a Baby Bjorn is rather overpriced for doing something mothers have done since the dawn of time.

    I'd strongly recommend a book called No-Cry Sleep Solutions, which has a very sane and balanced approach to encouraging babies to sleep at night, IMO.

    Also, be aware that as a future parent, and even more as an expectant mother, you will have everyone and their gerbil trying to sell you something and telling you it's vital for your baby. Lots and lots of accessories you don't really need, especially if you responsibly co-sleep, baby carry, or nurse(I never bought baby food...by the time my kids were interested, they were big enough that I could just mash up a bit of what we were eating after they'd nursed).
    Great Grandmother's Kitchen

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      #3
      Re: Resources for Pre-Parent Planning?

      I recommend 2 books--one called "The Happiest Baby on the Block", which is a really great book that talks about the benefits of slings and swaddling and talks about what the author calls "the fourth trimester"--the transition time for the baby when it comes out of the womb and the other is called "Healthy Child, Whole Child" and is about combining alternative and conventional medical treatments--when which one is best and how they can work together throughout your child's life, but there is some good baby info in it.

      The only other thing I can say is that if you think you are ready to have a child, I'm willing to wager that you are flat out wrong...just because almost NO ONE is actually ready to have a child once they are confronted with the reality of it (and if by some miracle they are, they are either lying or such a statistical minority as to be insignificant!!). You just hang on, and go for the ride. As Dez mentioned, about half of what you prepared for, or thought you were going to do will go out the window (if you want, I can give specific examples from both of my kids). The only good parenting advice I can give is this-- Feed it regularly, change it often, give it a routine and teach it to be good by being good...other than that, and above all else, love it. Although, I will add this piece of advice, not so much on parenting in action, but on being a parent in general--how someone else chooses to parent or not is not a personal attack on you as a parent...which is something I see pop up all the time over the net--over breastfeeding, how someone gives birth, circ v no circ, vax v no vax (although I get bitchy about this one myself, since, unlike the rest of them, it does directly affect others), homeschooling or not, cloth v disposables..and usually its just a mommy thing--I have yet to see a dad get uppity over whether or not their kid was in a sling or a wrap, but I've seen grown women stop talking to each other over it.
      Wonderful Life: The Burgess Shale and the Nature of HistoryPagan Devotionals, because the wind and the rain is our Bible
      sigpic

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        #4
        Re: Resources for Pre-Parent Planning?

        @Dez I'd love some links to slings or carrying materials. I've seen them but am not sure which one would be best (not that I need it atm but it would be good to know) one I looked at is like 3 yards of fabric and very intimidating. Plus, are they all 1-size fits all? I'm 5 feet tall and while not obese I am curve and I've seen most of these carriers on taller women.

        As for the everyone and their gerbil selling something, I've strangely already had a run in with that a few times. Most of it I say thanks but no thanks, why in the world would a baby need a bunch of electronic toys, gourmet baby food, or to learn mozart before they can identify a piano?
        Some things I'm very interested in but wonder how it effects children at a later age like the My Baby Can Read series. Have there been any studies on these children once they hit school?

        Sorry...went off on a tangent.

        But yes, I would love some links.

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          #5
          Re: Resources for Pre-Parent Planning?

          What sling or wrap you prefer depends mostly on you.

          I hated hated hated hated wraps. Ugh. Hot, claustrophobic, sweating ick. Slings on the other hand (IMO) are *awesome*, as is the mei tai (which the hubby and I still use with our 3 and 5 yo to back carry on hikes and stuff).

          When my kids were little, I wrote a post on the pre-crash forum, which is now on my blog, that has tons of links for the different types of wraps an slings (hopefully they are all good, its a couple years old). But...if you really want to figure it all out, there's even a baby wearing forum...
          Wonderful Life: The Burgess Shale and the Nature of HistoryPagan Devotionals, because the wind and the rain is our Bible
          sigpic

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