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Why Do You Care About Someone Else's Appearance?

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    #31
    Re: Why Do You Care About Someone Else's Appearance?

    If people cannot get past my appearance to the person I am, then they do not deserve to know me.

    That said, the reason I sometimes wear make up is just because I have no intention of going out looking as bad as I feel....
    www.thewolfenhowlepress.com


    Phantom Turnips never die.... they just get stewed occasionally....

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      #32
      Re: Why Do You Care About Someone Else's Appearance?

      I really, really want to tell you that I don't care about a person's appearance. But we all know that simply isn't true, even if I have the best of intentions. As an example, one of my very best friends is probably as close to a modern caveman as you'll ever find. He keeps his hair long and unkempt, has an unkempt beard, and wears nothing but very tattered t-shirts and faded carhart pants. He spends most of his year sleeping in his car (he DOES have a home, he's just not there often), he hunts for his food, and I've even seen him eat a squirrel. He's pretty poor, because he doesn't believe in working for a living. If I passed him on the street, I wouldn't have given him the time of day. He's messy and unkempt, and from appearances, isn't far off from looking a little homeless at times.

      He is awesome. He is one of my very best friends, and just because he's lacking in personal hygiene doesn't faze me in the slightest. But that's because I got to know him. Just like I'm sure lots of other people out there that I would judge, are probably also very awesome people, with emotions and feelings, and fascinating life stories. So I try not to judge.

      And I ask the same in return. For example: I don't pluck my eyebrows, or shave (yes, I don't shave), and you're more likely to find me in a boy's t-shirt and some ratty jeans than a dress, though I do clean up nicely. But yeah. Why judge?

      People are just people.


      Mostly art.

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        #33
        Re: Why Do You Care About Someone Else's Appearance?

        "Great minds discuss ideas. Average minds discuss events. Small minds discuss people." Eleanor Roosevelt
        So, turning the question back at you -- why do you care what they are discussing? Is that any better than them caring what other people are wearing?
        It gets to me after awhile. I spend about 40 hours a week with these people, and it's either ragging on celebs or each other - or when the morning crew of old ladies come in, it's the game of 'Oh, you think you've got it bad...'. I can't escape. Some nights I can get away with stuffing my headphones in my ears, but most nights people need to talk to me and I can't read lips. I can't move to a different office... I've tried changing the subject, but I'm no good at female small talk, so they throw me one or two sentences & go back to whoever they were talking about before I so rudely interrupted with anything other than clothes/shoes, etc. If I go to the restroom, I hear it from guests in there.

        I've even tried asking them why they're so fascinated with appearances, and most look at me like I'm an alien - but they also can't come up w/any reason why it's such a favored topic, or why they care. It's amazing - these are all women of various ages, single and married, with kids - and they talk about this stuff more than their children (or dieting, which is supposed to be like, the #1 subject of discussion among women).

        One memorable little snippet went something like this:

        Coworker #1: "Oh my God, look at what (insert-celeb-name-here) wore to the Oscars. Why did she even bother to get dressed if she was going to wear that in public? Has she no sense?!"

        Coworker #2: "You are so right. She looks hideous. Those shoes! That make-up! Ugh!"

        Me, walking by & glancing down at magazine: "What's wrong with her outfit?" (genuinely puzzled)

        Coworker #1: "She doesn't have the right shape for that dress. So-and-so is the only person who could possibly get away with it, and this celeb is not that celeb."

        Me: "What if she liked the dress? Or thought it enhanced her appearance? Or made her feel pretty?"

        Coworker #2: "Honey, just because you like something doesn't mean you can wear it out of the house!"

        Me: /facepalm

        Originally posted by nbdy View Post
        I loved wearing a uniform. So easy and social expectations are effortlessly met every single day.
        The forum member formerly known as perzephone. Or Perze. I've shed a skin.

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          #34
          Re: Why Do You Care About Someone Else's Appearance?

          Originally posted by perzephone View Post
          It gets to me after awhile. I spend about 40 hours a week with these people,
          Oh, now I get it -- it's work. The social aspects of work can be daunting because we invariable end up having to cooperate with people we would not choose to be around very often if we had the choice. Unlike family or friends you can't just tell them to shut their pie-holes unless you are ready to move on to a different state of employment. I don't suppose my sympathy does much good.


          More useless sympathy for you -- here, have an extra scoop of it. The military uniforms were comfortable and practical, also useful for pretending to be a tree or shrubbery. The uniform you describe sounds like it would do very well starting a fire ....

          - - - Updated - - -

          Originally posted by Jembru View Post

          Just a side note for nbdy: I haven't washed my face for 3 days in a row now. No real reason. I've remembered to brush my teeth so it's not as though I haven't been at the sink. I haven't worn makeup for about a week either. Sometimes I just don't see the point of grooming. I used to believe I'd find beauty in a bottle, but there really isn't a product in the world that could help me look and feel normal.

          Think I had better go and give my face a scrub then...
          I've been decades without makeup, but I get zits if I don't wash my face. And, yes, I guess I am vain enough to not want to face the world with a big, red headlight on my forehead. hehe

          "No, no, you're not thinking; you're just being logical." -- Niels Bohr

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