Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

Step-Daughter is getting married...

Collapse
X
 
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

    Step-Daughter is getting married...

    My 22 year old step-daughter is getting married in the spring. She has been sending me info on all the plans so far and I'm very excited for her. She told me that she asked her full-sister and future sister in law to be bridesmaids. But my daughter (who is now 7 asked why she wasn't a sister to her sisters like they were to each other) hasn't been asked to be in the wedding. We are funding at least half of all expenses, so I don't think that's the issue.

    I'm just waiting to see if she does ask, but have a sinking feeling that I'll be explaining that her sisters can be kind of thoughtless every once in awhile.

    I guess I'm wondering if others would think this is a big deal or if it's just me.

    #2
    Re: Step-Daughter is getting married...

    Maybe she doesn't want young kids in her wedding. Maybe she wants only a certain number as her bridesmaid. I don't recall bridesmaids ever being that young. Usually flower girls or what not. Regardless. And I do really mean regardless...it's her wedding. No one's business but her. Even if you are paying part of the wedding.
    Satan is my spirit animal

    Comment


      #3
      Re: Step-Daughter is getting married...

      Totally and 100% agree with you. I just get so tired of seeing my daughter hurt by these girls... Ugh! It's so hard.

      - - - Updated - - -

      I guess it would be easier if we weren't so involved with the planning and could just 'show up'

      Comment


        #4
        Re: Step-Daughter is getting married...

        Originally posted by Veronica View Post
        Totally and 100% agree with you. I just get so tired of seeing my daughter hurt by these girls... Ugh! It's so hard.

        - - - Updated - - -

        I guess it would be easier if we weren't so involved with the planning and could just 'show up'
        Yeah the little girl is getting the shaft at this point. If she ask? I dunno what to say. Say they wanted grown ups only. Or say you needed her to be by your side. Make her feel needed that day. Do something special with her. . Oh like both of you go get manicures together and hair dos! Something that makes her feel it's a big deal for her to go.
        Satan is my spirit animal

        Comment


          #5
          Re: Step-Daughter is getting married...

          I guess I just get really frustrated with the two of them. I raised them with my husband in our home from the ages of 9 and 11. They've left their little sister out of a lot of stuff and many times she just wasn't big enough. But naturally they have a connection between the two of them they just don't have with their little sister. The tough part is they make it really obvious. I am so happy for big sis and want her day to be perfect. I just don't want it to be at the expense of littlest sis. I'm hyper sensitive about it. Sometimes it's good to get an objective party to point it out. I obviously don't want to mention it to the hubby. He doesn't need to deal with my stress too

          Comment


            #6
            Re: Step-Daughter is getting married...

            I think you should just ask your step-daughter if she was planning on asking your 7 year old to be in the wedding party. Waiting to see if she will ask seems a bit passive-aggressive. Planning a wedding involves a lot of coordination and things do fall through the cracks. But maybe she doesn't want your youngest in the wedding, either. It's her day, who knows what she's got planned if she hasn't put all her cards on the table. If your youngest daughter feels left out, Medusa's suggestions seem like good ones to take into consideration.

            (Honestly, this is exactly why I opted for a small Vegas wedding where I told people that if they wanted to be there, they'd need to fund their own way there and back.)
            �Experience is what you get when you didn't get what you wanted. And experience is often the most valuable thing you have to offer.�
            ― Randy Pausch, The Last Lecture
            Sneak Attack
            Avatar picture by the wonderful and talented TJSGrimm.

            Comment


              #7
              Re: Step-Daughter is getting married...

              Originally posted by Medusa View Post
              Maybe she doesn't want young kids in her wedding.
              This might have something to do with it. I've personally never seen a bridesmaid so young... even the junior bridesmaids seem to be at least thirteen or so. I can understand not wanting to have a seven year old as a bridesmaid, so I don't really think that's unreasonable in itself. If it's really bothering you, why not just talk to you step daughter about it? She might be planning to include her sister in some other way (such as a flower girl), or perhaps she doesn't want children in the wedding party at all (which is not super uncommon).
              Hearth and Hedge

              Comment


                #8
                Re: Step-Daughter is getting married...

                I guess I never considered waiting to see as passive-aggressive. I'm going to need to think about that. I was actually trying to give her the space she needs to do things her way without my interference, but maybe I should really examine my intentions here. I appreciate all the thoughts on it! They help! Like I said before, the age gap does leave the little one out a lot of the time, so I need to just keep that in mind. What I may do is ask Daddy to see what her plans are. I still even after all this time, worry about intruding too far with big-sis. I don't want to push her away.

                Comment


                  #9
                  Re: Step-Daughter is getting married...

                  As the youngest sibling in my family by 6 years, almost 15 years' my sister's junior, I can understand the difficulty in age difference here. But you only get married once, and pre-wedding stuff is about as sisterly an activity as I can imagine, particularly since this is a model for the little one to look at. If I were you, I would skim around the wedding to-do list for things like putting invitations in envelopes and stamping them, putting together centerpieces, and decorating for a shower or bachelorette party (tying balloons outside, taping ribbons and signs, etc.), then tell Bride Sister that you'll take over these things... Then let the little one do it instead and emphasize her role as being critical. Obviously help where help is needed, but she can probably handle all those annoying little tasks that you and other wedding investors don't have time for. Plus, young children are awesome for telegrams during the chaos of a wedding, where everyone needs to talk to everyone else abou this and that detail. Honestly, the little girl could be pretty instrumental to the wedding without appearing in the party and still feel satisfied, I think.

                  I was my sister's bridesmaid of honor at sixteen, and besides telling my sister how beautiful she was that was pretty much all I did for the wedding.

                  Comment

                  Working...
                  X