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Thread: random new family member?!?

  1. #1
    306 Maria de Luna's Avatar
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    Question random new family member?!?

    So I found out that I have a half-sister. My birth father and my mother divorced when I was too small to remember anything useful, I have done some digging about my birth father and I apparently have a sister, apparently my mother knew and never said anything. I never intended to meet my father, but I am interrested in my sister. Is that wrong? Is it ok to want to meet her? Iv'e accessed enough public records to be absolutely 100% sure she actually is my sister, but I don't know what to do from here. do I go to her facebook and say "hey you don't know me but we have the same father?!?" is there a right way to proceed? She is 19 and she dropped out of highschool when she was 16 and had a child and got married. Does any of that matter? I'm really confused, and excited and scared. What the heck do I do?
    Last edited by Maria de Luna; 03 Sep 2012 at 06:27. Reason: I can't wordz...

  2. #2
    Live and learn anunitu's Avatar
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    Re: random new family member?!?

    Family stuff like this is a lot more common than most people would think. Usually family secrets come out after a long time.
    I know for a fact that after my parents split my Father had kids with another woman,in fact he also had one while married to my Mother. I have never pursued it,but from time to time I do wonder about them. They do not carry my fathers name,because the woman in question was married to another man when my Father got her pregnant. So,if I did look into it I "Might" end up revealing a family secret they know nothing about.
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  3. #3
    306 Maria de Luna's Avatar
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    Re: random new family member?!?

    would it be wrong for me to say anything? I really want to.

    - - - Updated - - -

    would it be wrong for me to say anything? I really want to.

  4. #4
    Live and learn anunitu's Avatar
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    Re: random new family member?!?

    Hard to say,because as I said it might open up some things best left to their secrets. I know you would like to connect with your sister,but consider how it would effect her also.
    MAGIC is MAGIC,black OR white or even blood RED

    all i ever wanted was a normal life and love.
    NO TERF EVER WE belong Too.
    don't stop the tears.let them flood your soul.




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  5. #5
    Zephyranth
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    Re: random new family member?!?

    My boyfriend is actually in a similar situation. His dad left his mom before he was born, and he found out a few years ago that he has a half-sister living in Texas. He desperately wants to meet her at some point, which is natural considering they're siblings. I think if you feel you want to talk to her, than you most certainly should do that. It might get complicated, but reaching out to her seems to be something that's really nagging at you. If you don't do it, will you forever wish you had? I know that it would bother me if I didn't, but I obviously don't know how you would feel about that. I would suggest writing a letter or email or something if you can find some sort of address... It just seems more personal and respectful than something like Facebook.

  6. #6
    306 Maria de Luna's Avatar
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    Re: random new family member?!?

    The thing is when she was young we used to know each other, I diddnt really understand the whole thing, but she was much smaller. I spoke with our "Father" on occasion when I visited my grandmother (my father's mother) I was'nt a family secret. She was just so much younger than me, and growing up things between my mother and my fathers family changed and when she got re married, I diddnt even get to go see my grandmother, my mother never even told me when she and my grandfather died, I just really don't like the idea of completely losing everything from that part of what should have been my family.

    - - - Updated - - -

    The thing is when she was young we used to know each other, I diddnt really understand the whole thing, but she was much smaller. I spoke with our "Father" on occasion when I visited my grandmother (my father's mother) I was'nt a family secret. She was just so much younger than me, and growing up things between my mother and my fathers family changed and when she got re married, I diddnt even get to go see my grandmother, my mother never even told me when she and my grandfather died, I just really don't like the idea of completely losing everything from that part of what should have been my family.

  7. #7
    Zephyranth
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    Re: random new family member?!?

    Oh god, I completely understand. You and my boyfriend really should have a chat. :/ He is completely unsure as to whether his grandparents are still alive, and he hasn't asked his mom because he knows he won't get an answer... I would really suggest talking to her... Even if some unfortunate truths come out... At least they're the truth...

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    Member SCoyote's Avatar
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    Re: random new family member?!?

    Don't know what you should do, except listen to your own gut instinct about it. If your sister is just a kid, I'd let it go a while, don't really want to disrupt her life.

    I know I have 3 half-sisters out in the world somewhere, but I've never pursued it. There was a lot of harsh feelings between my mother and my father who left when I was 3. I am solitary by nature and just don't feel the need to disturb thier lives though I would not turn them away if they sought me out.

  9. #9
    Member Asrais's Avatar
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    Re: random new family member?!?

    I'm pretty sure I have a half sister out there somewhere too - my dad supposedly had an affair when I was about 7 that resulted in a child - I say supposedly because my dad denies it to this day, despite proof that he has had other affairs. He and my mum broke up when I was 13. The mother of my half sister used to call our house saying that he had been with her and that she had a child - Dad convinced us that this woman was nuts - now I'm not so sure.

    When I was about 18 I answered a phone call from this lady. She introduced me to a girl called Anne Marie, supposedly my half sister, over the phone, she must have been 11ish at the time. The lady asked me if I wanted to meet Anne Marie, I said I'd have to discuss it with my sister. She said she'd call back, but she never did.

    I don't know the lady's name - no one will talk about it in my family, plus being so far from home makes it difficult to discuss these things, but I still wonder about her.

    If she was to seek me out I would be happy to talk to her, so I think that if you want to, you should make contact with your half sister.

  10. #10
    306 Maria de Luna's Avatar
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    Re: random new family member?!?

    Well I sent out a message, that should go to her email, jsut letting her know who I am, why I'm sure she's my sister, and that I would like to talk, even if communication is just through email, so we will see how it turns out. I'm checking my email obsessively though and I imagine it will take some time to decide whether to get back to me or not too.

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