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Thread: Stupid News Headlines

  1. #1
    The Gaze of the Abyss B. de Corbin's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2007
    Alchemist and Neo-American Redneck Buddhist
    Frozen Northern Michigan, near Thunder Bay
    Where are the tweezers?

    Stupid News Headlines

    These come from

    Actual Newspaper Headlines

    Sex Education Delayed, Teachers Request Training
    Plane Too Close to Ground, Crash Probe Told
    Iraqi Head Seeks Arms
    Man Struck by Lightning Faces Battery Charge
    Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says
    Safety Experts Say School Bus Passengers Should Be Belted
    Drunk Gets Nine Months in Violin Case
    Survivor of Siamese Twins Joins Parents
    Farmer Bill Dies in House
    New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group
    Is There a Ring of Debris around Uranus?
    Stud Tires Out
    Prostitutes Appeal to Pope
    Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over
    Soviet Virgin Lands Short of Goal Again
    Enraged Cow Injures Farmer with Ax
    Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors
    Miners Refuse to Work after Death
    Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers
    Two Soviet Ships Collide, One Dies
    If Strike isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last a While
    Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures
    Enfields Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide
    Red Tape Holds Up New Bridge
    Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead
    Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant
    New Vaccine May Contain Rabies
    Man Minus Ear Waives Hearing
    Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft
    Some Pieces of Rock Hudson Sold at Auction
    Include your Children when Baking Cookies
    War Dims Hope for Peace
    British Left Waffles on Falkland Islands
    Eye Drops off Shelf
    Teacher Strikes Idle Kids
    Clinton Wins on Budget, But More Lies Ahead
    Squad Helps Dog Bite Victim
    Shot Off Woman's Leg Helps Nicklaus to 66
    Stolen Painting Found by Tree
    Two Sisters Reunited after 18 Years in Checkout Counter
    Killer Sentenced to Die for Second Time in 10 Years
    Drunken Drivers Paid $1000 in 84
    Steals Clock, Faces Time
    Old School Pillars are Replaced by Alumni
    Kids Make Nutritious Snacks
    Arson Suspect is Held in Massachusetts Fire
    British Union Finds Dwarfs in Short Supply
    Ban On Soliciting Dead in Trotwood
    Lansing Residents Can Drop Off Trees
    Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half
    Deaf College Opens Doors to Hearing
    Air Head Fired
    Lung Cancer in Women Mushrooms
    Chef Throws His Heart into Helping Feed Needy
    Bank Drive-in Window Blocked by Board
    Federal agents raid gunshop, find weapons
    Every moment of a life is a horrible tragedy, a slapstick comedy, dark nihilism, golden illumination, or nothing at all; depending on how we write the story we tell ourselves.

  2. #2
    306 Maria de Luna's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2012
    animist hedge witch.
    Wilmington DE
    Even if you're only a boy, you can fight like a girl!

    Re: Stupid News Headlines

    Stop posting these! My head hurts from laughing!

  3. #3
    Cannibal Rights Activist Ophidia's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    Las Vegas, NV
    I like Nature, just not on me.

    Re: Stupid News Headlines

    These are some of my favorites:

    Click image for larger version. 

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    And the best one I've seen so far:
    Click image for larger version. 

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    The forum member formerly known as perzephone. Or Perze. I've shed a skin.

  4. #4

    Re: Stupid News Headlines

    We can easily see these types of stupid news headlines in most of the newspapers or channels that make you wonder.

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