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    And it harm none...

    And it harm none. I try to live my life by that. However there are people in my life at the moment that I need to remove. Either by talking to them, e-mail and just explaining myself or a mix of the two. I know that I will hurt one of these people when I tell them that I no longer want them in my life. However, at this point it's more for my own, and my little familys, well being that I do. How can i say "and it harm none, do what you will" and yet I have to hurt someone to better my emotional and spiritual state of mind? I know the only way this can be avoided is by not saying anything. At this point it's not really an option though.
    Any advice? If I need to clarify a bit more I can do that as well. I swear I can't form a single full thought anymore with this weighing on me.

    #2
    Re: And it harm none...

    I think that so long as you are not maliciously harming them (aka doing it with intent) ...you'll probably still living within the confines of 'an it harm none'.

    I don't follow the Rede myself, but it seems like you need to rid yourself of some bad mojo (or bad people), and ultimately, being happy yourself should be step one.


    Mostly art.

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      #3
      Re: And it harm none...

      Here is the thing, you are totally someone! You cannot allow people to continue to harm you! You do not have to go out of your way to hurt someone who is hurting you, but you have to be able to keep yourself safe. It is not right to make yourself totally miserable to spare someone elses feelings, If they truly care for you they will understand, and if they do not then they won't really be hurt. A small amount of mental pain is ok, if it means saving yourself from emotional torment. You cannot feel like others needs need to be met at the expense of your own, or you end up in a bad place.
      Harming none includes yourself, find the best path that does the least harm in this case.
      http://catcrowsnow.blogspot.com/

      But they were doughnuts of darkness. Evil damned doughnuts, tainted by the spawn of darkness.... Which could obviously only be redeemed by passing through the fiery inferno of my digestive tract.
      ~Jim Butcher

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        #4
        Re: And it harm none...

        The Wiccan rede should not be taken as some hard and fast law. The word rede means something more like advice.

        The Wiccan rede does not say to harm none, or to cause no harm. Frankly, that is impossible for any living thing, life just does not work that way. Look at the full line you posted, and it gives a good bit more context. It does not say harm none, rather it is essentially saying if it harms none, go for it. It actually doesn't say what to do in a situation where we must cause harm. The usual interpretation is that one should cause minimal harm, but again, no harm is impossible. Some people like to add the line "an it cause harm, do as you must" to the rede.

        In your particular situation, it is already impossible for you to not cause harm. By taking action, you may harm those people - but by taking no action, you harm yourself. It might also be considered harmful to the others for them to remain in contact with someone who does not want them around anymore. Harm is going to happen. You don't have to drag it out, just be honest and blunt (but not overly cruel), just get it done with. Do what you need to do.
        Hearth and Hedge

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          #5
          Re: And it harm none...

          The problem is (and I realize now that it should have been mentioned) that the person I'm talking about is my own mother. I honestly have no idea what's going to happen, a ripple effect somewhere, when I do confront her. I'm not doing it out of spite, maliciousness or anything like that. She's put me through a lot of shit, is a selfish, materialistic, if it doesn't benefit her than she won't take time, kind of person. A toxic person as well. I'm just struggling with weather I should actually confront her or just push her away. I can't see or imagine a good ending either way. I don't want to turn my sisters against me with these actions and, I know my mother, I don't want her to turn them and others against me as well. She has a "way with words" if you will that gets people to feel sorry for her and usually backlashes on the other person (me in this sceniero).

          - - - Updated - - -

          Thank you Maria! =]
          Gardenia: I don't take it completely literally by the way. Just as a moral compass. I'm a hot headed Aries and the rede is something that forces me to stop and think before I open my mouth and say something that I don't actually mean and/or do something that I see as beneficial but others may not. And thank you.
          I see what you guys are saying. Come to think of it, I feel as if I may be harming my real relationships with the overly analytical thinking on this subject.

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            #6
            Re: And it harm none...

            If her continued contact with you is harmful to your mental and spiritual health, it is bad for you not to do something. Slowly pushing her away, is just that, slow. Just because you would be doing it slowly does not mean that it would not have similar backlash to doing it quickly. It is a horrifyingly bad example, but do you tear a band-aid off slowly or quickly? By leaving the situation alone nothing is changing, and you leave yourself to fester, your feelings toward what is happening will not lessen and you wll not nessecarily get used to feeling used... I know she is your mother and despite any shortcomings she may have, you still want to love your mother. You don't have to stop loving her, you just need some time away, try cold turkey if that helps, or do it bits at a time, what works best for you, but do something, or you may end up not caring anymore eigther...

            - - - Updated - - -

            and now I see you have updated the post :P
            http://catcrowsnow.blogspot.com/

            But they were doughnuts of darkness. Evil damned doughnuts, tainted by the spawn of darkness.... Which could obviously only be redeemed by passing through the fiery inferno of my digestive tract.
            ~Jim Butcher

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              #7
              Re: And it harm none...

              Maria: Thank you so much! I have tried taking to people for years about this issue and you have helped me more in the last ten minutes than anyone else. Haha! You're right. And the bandaid is a perfect reference .
              Ill just suck it up and get it done with. She is harmful to me. She's harmful to herself and my family as well. I need to get away. Thankfully I have support with my boyfriend (who can't figure out why the hell I keep letting her do this to me) and friends. Ill update later with how things went and are going if you would like.
              Again, thanks everyone.

              Comment


                #8
                Re: And it harm none...

                Originally posted by LenaBena View Post
                Maria: Thank you so much! I have tried taking to people for years about this issue and you have helped me more in the last ten minutes than anyone else. Haha! You're right. And the bandaid is a perfect reference .
                Ill just suck it up and get it done with. She is harmful to me. She's harmful to herself and my family as well. I need to get away. Thankfully I have support with my boyfriend (who can't figure out why the hell I keep letting her do this to me) and friends. Ill update later with how things went and are going if you would like.
                Again, thanks everyone.
                If you need anything please don't hesitate to ask! and if you dont want to ask in a thread I answer PMs
                http://catcrowsnow.blogspot.com/

                But they were doughnuts of darkness. Evil damned doughnuts, tainted by the spawn of darkness.... Which could obviously only be redeemed by passing through the fiery inferno of my digestive tract.
                ~Jim Butcher

                Comment

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