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The English Language Sucks

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    #1

    The English Language Sucks

    I'm sure I cared about this as a small child, but I don't remember it...and now that I'm a parent with a child learning how to read and write, I've come to a new understanding and realization of the suckitude of the English language.

    For example:

    Click image for larger version Name: Bow_Arrow.jpg Views: 1 Size: 5.8 KB ID: 355948Click image for larger version Name: bow_lh1.jpg Views: 1 Size: 8.0 KB ID: 355949Click image for larger version Name: 220px-Bowtypes.svg.jpg Views: 1 Size: 6.1 KB ID: 355950Click image for larger version Name: Bowing.jpg Views: 1 Size: 9.5 KB ID: 355951


    How the hell do you explain why these are all spelled the same (but pronounced differently) to a 5 year old?

    Also...why are tow, low, show, and row pronounced one way, but how, now, cow, are pronounced differently? And yet...they are spelled the same.


    And never mind (after learning that an 'e' at the end makes a vowel say its name, like in wake or kite) trying to explain how old, sold, mold, bold, fold, told, and cold don't need an 'e' on the end...
    Wonderful Life: The Burgess Shale and the Nature of HistoryPagan Devotionals, because the wind and the rain is our Bible
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    #2
    Re: The English Language Sucks

    "i before e, except after c." <--- I've NEVER understood this rule. i before e except after 'eff you, I'll just memorize the spellings of the words.


    Mostly art.

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      #3
      Re: The English Language Sucks

      I'm probably not the person to ask about this when teaching to kids because I'd teach the etymology of the word. It can be done, just maybe not in a "fun" way.

      ADD: A great example would be "knight". We actually used to say the "k" sound. It was spelled something like 3niht and pronounced "ka-neet". Yes, Monty Python got it right with the silly Frenchmen.
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      "...leave me curled up in my ball,
      surrounded by plush, downy things,
      ill prepared, but willing,
      to descend."

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        #4
        Re: The English Language Sucks

        Originally posted by Caelia View Post
        I'm probably not the person to ask about this when teaching to kids because I'd teach the etymology of the word. It can be done, just maybe not in a "fun" way.

        ADD: A great example would be "knight". We actually used to say the "k" sound. It was spelled something like 3niht and pronounced "ka-neet". Yes, Monty Python got it right with the silly Frenchmen.
        "Get out of here, you silly kaniggit, before I taunt you a second time"


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          #5
          Re: The English Language Sucks

          v, it won't let me plus you, but know I want to do it.
          my etsy store
          My blog


          "...leave me curled up in my ball,
          surrounded by plush, downy things,
          ill prepared, but willing,
          to descend."

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            #6
            Re: The English Language Sucks

            Originally posted by Caelia View Post
            v, it won't let me plus you, but know I want to do it.
            Do I get double pluses for telling you I can say that accent too? Hooray for being half-french, I can sound like an ostentatious frenchman!


            Mostly art.

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              #7
              Re: The English Language Sucks

              Originally posted by volcaniclastic View Post
              Do I get double pluses for telling you I can say that accent too? Hooray for being half-french, I can sound like an ostentatious frenchman!
              Only because, despite years of ballet and francophone in laws, I can't speak French worth a damn.
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              "...leave me curled up in my ball,
              surrounded by plush, downy things,
              ill prepared, but willing,
              to descend."

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                #8
                Re: The English Language Sucks

                While yes, English sucks, it does get awesome descriptions online

                The problem with defending the purity of the English language is that English is about as pure as a cribhouse whore. We don't just borrow words; on occasion, English has pursued other languages down alleyways to beat them unconscious and riffle their pockets for new vocabulary.

                being a favorite quote of mine.
                life itself was a lightsaber in his hands; even in the face of treachery and death and hopes gone cold, he burned like a candle in the darkness. Like a star shining in the black eternity of space.

                Yoda: Dark Rendezvous

                "But those men who know anything at all about the Light also know that there is a fierceness to its power, like the bare sword of the law, or the white burning of the sun." Suddenly his voice sounded to Will very strong, and very Welsh. "At the very heart, that is. Other things, like humanity, and mercy, and charity, that most good men hold more precious than all else, they do not come first for the Light. Oh, sometimes they are there; often, indeed. But in the very long run the concern of you people is with the absolute good, ahead of all else..."

                John Rowlands, The Grey King by Susan Cooper

                "You come from the Lord Adam and the Lady Eve", said Aslan. "And that is both honour enough to erect the head of the poorest beggar, and shame enough to bow the shoulders of the greatest emperor on earth; be content."

                Aslan, Prince Caspian by CS Lewis


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                  #9
                  Re: The English Language Sucks

                  affect and effect drive me nuts.
                  Satan is my spirit animal

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                    #10
                    Re: The English Language Sucks

                    Y'all must have different accents from mine. You say how, now, and cow are pronounced differently, but in my mind those three words rhyme perfectly. *shrug*

                    Anyway, I'd suggest just letting the children associate the pictures, the word sounds, and the spelling of the words on their own. You don't have to explain any complicated rules of grammar and spelling to them, that's what elementary school is for. (If your kids are home schooled and I somehow missed that, I apologize) Hell, I was always very good at English in school and I couldn't tell you why some words have silent Es at the end and some don't.

                    I'm sure you will do fine. You're far brighter than my mother was and she managed to teach me to read at a fifth grade level by the time I was in kindergarten.

                    affect = verb effect = noun :P
                    Children love and want to be loved and they very much prefer the joy of accomplishment to the triumph of hateful failure. Do not mistake a child for his symptom.
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                      #11
                      Re: The English Language Sucks

                      Originally posted by Clive View Post
                      Y'all must have different accents from mine. You say how, now, and cow are pronounced differently, but in my mind those three words rhyme perfectly. *shrug*
                      How, now, and cow do sound the same, but they sound different than bow, row and tow. At least thats what I got from the post.


                      Also while I was in school, quite good at english, (please don't mention punctuation, it makes me a sad panda...) I did not actually understand the grammar rules, and as far as I got with identifying words, was noun, adjective, and verb. I do not know what a subject and predicate are, or an adverb, or a participle, I know they exist, but for the life of me I cannot tell you what they do. This is why I had such a terrible time with learning other languages in school, because you needed these parts of speech to figure out languages. English got be just hearing it, but none of the other languages I have tried to learn have stuck because I never got the other stuff...
                      http://catcrowsnow.blogspot.com/

                      But they were doughnuts of darkness. Evil damned doughnuts, tainted by the spawn of darkness.... Which could obviously only be redeemed by passing through the fiery inferno of my digestive tract.
                      ~Jim Butcher

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                        #12
                        Re: The English Language Sucks

                        Originally posted by Maria de Luna View Post
                        How, now, and cow do sound the same, but they sound different than bow, row and tow. At least thats what I got from the post.
                        You're probably right. That's what I get for replying to threads like this first thing in the AM.
                        Children love and want to be loved and they very much prefer the joy of accomplishment to the triumph of hateful failure. Do not mistake a child for his symptom.
                        -Erik Erikson

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                          #13
                          Re: The English Language Sucks

                          Originally posted by Clive View Post
                          You're probably right. That's what I get for replying to threads like this first thing in the AM.
                          It is entirely possible that I am insane though, read everything I type with a grain of salt!
                          http://catcrowsnow.blogspot.com/

                          But they were doughnuts of darkness. Evil damned doughnuts, tainted by the spawn of darkness.... Which could obviously only be redeemed by passing through the fiery inferno of my digestive tract.
                          ~Jim Butcher

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                            #14
                            Re: The English Language Sucks

                            Many words that now begin with vowels (so that you use 'an' instead of 'a' as the indefinite article) actually began with a consonant many years ago. So 'adder' was originally nadder or nadre (or any variant thereof) and you could say 'a nadder' without anyone picking you up on it.

                            Language is always changing. English is a bit like a pudding, full of bits and pieces that never entirely mix comfortably together. And of course, spelling was changing for centuries.... try reading Chaucer in the original English and you'll see what I mean. Or more recently, the 19th century poet, John Clare.
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                            Phantom Turnips never die.... they just get stewed occasionally....

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                              #15
                              Re: The English Language Sucks

                              Originally posted by Tylluan Penry View Post
                              Many words that now begin with vowels (so that you use 'an' instead of 'a' as the indefinite article) actually began with a consonant many years ago. So 'adder' was originally nadder or nadre (or any variant thereof) and you could say 'a nadder' without anyone picking you up on it.

                              .
                              I wonder, Tylluan, if in that particular example, adder stems from the old English word for snake. You had it close - naedre - is old english for snake, and it was pronounced "nahhhhdderr" we hardened the A, but hmm. I think I'm just pointing out the obvious, but I just had this whole "whoa, I understand old english suddenly much better" moment. I needed to share.


                              Mostly art.

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