How to be a Pagan in an a Christian Household?

[ShadyoFayx]

Okay, well, there are only five Pagan's in my family, but they all don't live with me, and the one that does, we don't have that good of a relationship. I am eighteen years old, and I live with my parents, because I am going to college. But they are VERY christian, and I am Pagan. They hate it. I cannot practice ANY magic or do any spells. So...how can I practice Paganism if my parents forbid it. I have an alter set up, but my mother doesn't really know that it's an alter. She just thinks that it's a table of cool looking stuff on it. I wear my pentagram all the time, but she always looks at it weird. So...I feel uncomfortable in my own house. How can I practice my religion in the comfort of my own house without them freaking out? Any suggestions?

[Maria de Luna]

Magic doesn't have to be an all the time thing, and there are branches of paganism that do not have people actively practising it. The altar that doesn't look like an altar, is a great way to pay homage without being overt about it. It is also possible to be pagan and practise without being vocal about it. I don't mean lie, or keep secrets, I mean, don't bring stuff up. Do what you can to avoid having to answer questions, or have awkward conversations. I do rituals at night after the hubby is asleep, because the chance of being interrupted is lessened, (also it keeps the cats in the bedroom and out of my lap!) It is not a bad idea to do things when you will not be bothered.
But do not do things you are uncomfortable with. Fancy altars are unnessecary, as are tools and whatnot, and symbols, (something there to represent something else,) are always acceptable. But if you do not have to have a fight or awkward conversation, don't, there is no reason to. No one needs to wake up every morning and announce to the world what their religion is, religion should be private so keep it that way. even if you need to buy a cute little caboodle or thing to keep things in, do that. If you can find a good space in a forest clearing that makes you feel connected to the divine, that's really all you need! take time out to yourself and meditate. Many things can be religious experiences. But try to avoid lying, it won't make you feel better, and some mothers can tell, (or will think you are doing drugs...)

[Morrigan]

I totally agree with you, Maria de Luna. I am a pagan myself and I don't practice Magic or even have an altar.
I believe the connection is in myself and not in objects but I perfectly understand why many people feel the need of having an alter for the gods. And like you said and alter does not need to be all fancy but something that really is connected to you. I am a quiet person and I really don't go shouting that I am pagan and I think not even my mother knows I am one because my family isn't that much religious.
What I can say is for you to practice when you are alone or when you are sure no one will interrupt you. For me, I found this extremely usefull: when I cannot be by myself talking out loud to the gods, I talk inside my head, closing my eyes and viewing the hole thing in my mind. I am more connected to unspoken connections with the gods, thats why this works for me, but I don't know, it was just a suggestion.

[Sean R. R.]

I'm about to be eighteen And I live with my parents, I have an altar set up. They are catholic as hell, but after 4 years, they've begun accepting my religion. I'm not allowed to do any rituals until I'm 18, which is in less than two weeks.

What you can do is turning to minimalistic rituals, like just meditating. A good idea is setting up an Astral Temple, which is an astral/mind construct that is a place you can go to do 'virtual' rituals. From the outside it'll look as if you were meditating, but if you achieve a mild trance state, you will be able to access this mental place and do your rituals there. Look up a bit about Astral Temples, they're really useful for pagans like you that have it hard to practice at home.

[MaskedOne]

Magic != Ritual

The only real physical tell that I'm using craftwork half the time is that I'm paying significant attention to my target and not talking. I've got a few slightly more elaborate castings but I defy you to find a significant supply of non-spellcasters that are going to think "he's walked around the sales floor three times, he's casting a spell of some kind" or "that guy is drumming his fingers on the wall, SORCERY!". The only essential component to 999 out of every 1000 spells you perform is you. The rest is just window dressing. If you've got a clear idea of what you want to happen, some idea of the specific power you're using to accomplish your goal and a bit of faith then you can accomplish a decent bit without tools or visible ritual.

Skipping the spellcraft aspect, the Powers have ears that work just fine. Yes, many of them like a bit of ceremony dedicated to them but they can hear you just fine without it. Finally, the easiest way to get a bit of privacy to perform a quiet ritual is simple, stay up later than everyone else in the house. Granted, I would not test this method out the night before you have to get up early for something but my parents tended to go to sleep around 10 or 11 when they lived in-house with me and I'm almost never asleep before 1 or 2 in the morning. I tended to use this to get time on the computer without interruption or someone getting curious and coming up to ask what I was working on but it works just as well for other goals.

[lightdragon]

pretty much what everyone said here. you learn to keep things hidden in plain sight.

[Aeran]

Do you have any parks nearby, or nature reserves or something similar? Somewhere you can relax in nature and get in touch with the divine. All the rest will flow from that.

[cerulean]

Do you have any parks nearby, or nature reserves or something similar? Somewhere you can relax in nature and get in touch with the divine. All the rest will flow from that.

That's what I do, I go outside. No one gives a crap what I'm doing out there.

[ShadyoFayx]

Okay, so here's another question. Do I need to cast a circle before I do any spell? Or can I just visualize one for simple spells?

[MaskedOne]

Circles aren't vital. They can be useful but a number of traditions don't bother.