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I want to know how to become what my heart feels is right.

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    I want to know how to become what my heart feels is right.

    Through many Norwegian and Swedish bands which could be described as "Heavy Metal" to most, I began to grow spiritually from within by reading the lyrics in English and verifying what was said. I am from America and while I am sure most Norwegian Metal follows Pagan beliefs, I don't exactly know for sure when it comes to the Swedish. There music is similar in how it makes me feel though. I remember growing up in America in the 1990's reading the heavy metal music mags (I have always been HUGE fans of Megadeth and Metallica) and banishing all of the foreign aforementioned bands as SATAN worshipers....church burners who would follow Satan's rule.

    At the time I was very young, scared, and in a Christian church that also damned the American rock, heavy metal, and all music in general that did not exalt the Lord Jesus Christ. I am new here. I am also intrigued to learn how I can FINALLY start to find my spirituality through religion. Christianity is tainted with blood in my views...that may be a very naive opinion but it is what has kept me away ever since we started learning about the Crusades in Medieval times I believe. I have watched "Until the Light Takes Us" which is a documentary of sorts on the Christian church burnings by Pagan "Black Metal Bands", the bands who stuck to their Pagan beliefs, and also learned about the sacred burial grounds that these Christian churches were built upon, also forced upon.

    How the Norwegians were forced to give up their spirituality for something that was written my a mere mans hands and not something that was ancient and tried, and true.

    Please forgive me for any blasphemy. Any insults or incorrect facts. I have known for quite sometime I want to believe in a faith that is more rewarding than what we have as a mainstay. I want to help with world and people. I am sorry for all my conflicting thoughts and views and reasons. I just want to follow a path that I see true. The path were I can find my way when I get lost....because 27 years of living the way I have has spoiled my kind, good natured heart as it once was.

    Forgive me for anything that may have offended you at all. I am simply looking for guidance in this matter and I want to become of Pagan belief. I yearn for it.

    #2
    Re: I want to know how to become what my heart feels is right.

    I didn't see your presentation before; be welcome!

    I'm not sure of eaxctly what you're trying to say here; I'll just state a couple of things that are true and have been very much deformed.

    I'm norwegian (living in France) and I've been a black metal vocalist since 2007; that same music that many people in the 90's (and still today) deemed satanic, dangerous and violent. Understandably so: The founding bands used pentacles, dead animals, blood, hardcore nudity and violence as imagery to convey the most extreme and destrucive passions of Man. Some of them killed others or themselves and all together, they burned dozens of churches from 1992 to 1996. Basically, it took Anders "Patrick Bateman-Hitler" Breivik's massacre to steal their "Public Enemy nr. I" collective award (he also took the "Most Batshit Crazy Scandinavian" and "Most tasteless f***ing a**hole on a c**cksandwich ever").

    Anyway, what I'm trying to say is that these people, although they have repeatedly stated their support for the "pagan" cause, haven't done much to further it. Most of them are neither satanists nor pagans and even Vikernes, while his music is really fantastic, his personal opinions and faiths seem like a rambling nazi-inspired mess. They are people who's music I love, but whose opinions were forced upon the world in the most radical ways possible.

    And while it's true that the priests came with axes back in the days, Holy Olaf is only one among many Kings who ruled Norway in blood. Some of my ancestors were maybe given the choice between baptism and decapitation. Yes, the church has blood on it's hands (the church, not all christians and not christianity) and yes, they converted Norway in a rather douchebaggey way. That was still 1000 years ago. What happened 1000 years ago is, for me, no reason to hate anything or anyone.

    This being said, could you be more precise about what you feel, what you think and why you're apologising?
    (By the way, don't apologise too much about not knowing things. It's something to correct, not to be sorry about :: )
    "The idea is to be whispering, and not to gain the attention from the flock, but to get attention from the individuals. That's why I relate it to whispering. It's not something you can put on a big scale; you can't get sheep to attend to it. You need to have people who can stand for themselves. It is important to have a lot of space for yourself to be able to grow strong branches, which can stand in the most extreme surroundings."

    Gaahl

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      #3
      Re: I want to know how to become what my heart feels is right.

      You say you want to become what your heart feels is right.
      This means you already know that what you feel in your heart is right, so what would be stopping you?
      Do you fear other people's reaction? Or do you fear you may be taking the wrong "path"?
      You want to believe in a faith that is "more rewarding", but ask yourself exactly what it is you expect.

      You can look in the past as much as you like, and maybe even learn something, but your own time will not stand still.
      Your path lies in what you do today.

      I don't believe that your "kind, good natured heart" has ever left you - your environment just made you hide it from the world and yourself, something I'm familiar with.
      Maybe you will find your path in a Pagan belief, maybe somewhere else.
      My advice would be: Don't look too far from home.

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