Page 1 of 10 123 ... LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 100

Thread: Christian Guy fallen for Pagan Girl

  1. #1
    Time Lord Apostle Malflick's Avatar
    Reputation
    Join Date
    Mar 2013
    Posts
    1,380
    Gender
    male
    Religion
    Christian, worships Yahweh and Jesus, but doesn't care if you don't.

    Christian Guy fallen for Pagan Girl

    So, long story short, I'm a Christian guy who has fallen in love with a Pagan girl.
    She recently "came out of the broom-closet" to me, and I think she was afraid I'd just... Reject her instantly or try to convert her or something, and seemed pleasantly surprised I thought her beliefs were kind of cool. I've been talking to her a lot about them, and doing some research to try to understand them myself. She's been really open about things, its been cool and I've learned a lot. However, her family doesn't accept her beliefs, and she's had some problems with people mistreating her, judging her, trying to convert her, and generally just being jerks to her.
    I have no interest in converting her, or in converting myself. If she didn't believe what she does, she wouldn't be the person I've fallen for, nor her for me (well, at least I hope :P ).

    Basically, what can I do to make sure she feels comfortable with me religiously? I want her to know I accept her for who she is.
    Is there anything I should make sure I avoid doing that would be unintentionally offensive to her?
    I've been thinking of getting her something nice for an appropriate Pagan holiday she celebrates. Or something related to her beliefs just for, you know, for whenever. Would that be okay?

    I could gush with the gooey spiels about how I've never met anyone like her, and how ridiculously happy we are when we're together, or how smart, clever, and beautiful she is, but I'll refrain. I've never fallen for a non-Christian before, and never fallen for anyone like this, so I really don't want to screw this up by accidentally doing something stupid.

    Thank you for any advice or comments ^_^.

  2. #2
    Moderator Azvanna's Avatar
    Reputation
    Join Date
    May 2012
    Posts
    1,141
    Gender
    female
    Religion
    Optimistic Agnostic
    Location
    Qld, Australia
    Phrase
    Suspend Judgement

    Re: Christian Guy fallen for Pagan Girl

    What a guy.

    ... Okay I guess I better say something as well to be helpful. To be honest, I think it sounds like you're doing a really really great job at the moment just taking the time to find out about her beliefs and honoring them. Well done!
    Last edited by Azvanna; 19 Mar 2013 at 23:03.

  3. #3
    Bronze Member iflewoverthecuckoosnest's Avatar
    Reputation
    Join Date
    Dec 2012
    Posts
    1,135
    Gender
    female
    Religion
    Searching, drawn to Mayan mythology and Eastern Religions
    Location
    US, California
    Phrase
    Sri Ram Jai Ram Jai Jai Ram Sita Ram Sita Ram.

    Re: Christian Guy fallen for Pagan Girl

    I agree with Azvanna
    Sounds like you're doing just fine as it is.

  4. #4
    PF God-Empress Juniper's Avatar
    Reputation
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Posts
    16,456
    Gender
    Female
    Location
    Pacific "North" West
    Phrase
    I am a leaf on the wind...

    Re: Christian Guy fallen for Pagan Girl

    I think it's great that you are being so open about this and not wanting to pressure her. That in itself speaks volumes and I'm sure that she is so relieved to know that she can be comfortable around you with her beliefs.

    Do you guys share living space? If not, then consider what you would expect if you guys ever did. Perhaps each of you can have dedicated/designated space for your own beliefs. A drawer maybe, if you guys would like to be covert about it with potential guests that may disapprove. (If that's a concern)
    “Experience is what you get when you didn't get what you wanted. And experience is often the most valuable thing you have to offer.”
    ― Randy Pausch, The Last Lecture
    Sneak Attack
    Avatar picture by the wonderful and talented TJSGrimm.

  5. #5
    lady sings the blues DanieMarie's Avatar
    Reputation
    Join Date
    Oct 2009
    Posts
    5,675
    Gender
    female
    Religion
    Solitary Pagan
    Location
    Germany

    Re: Christian Guy fallen for Pagan Girl

    I'll back up everyone else and say that it sounds like you're on the right track. Trust takes time, and she'll likely need some time to see that you're not going to reject her beliefs and try to convert her like a lot of other people in her life have done. Give her space to practice, but show occasional interest and listen to her if she wants to talk. Keep being open as you have been and she'll be more comfortable with you having separate beliefs.

  6. #6
    Silver Member Tylluan Penry's Avatar
    Reputation
    Join Date
    Oct 2010
    Posts
    3,256
    Religion
    solitary pagan witch with a strong interest in Anglo Saxons
    Location
    South Wales Valleys, UK
    Phrase
    Phantom Turnips never die. They just get stewed occasionally....

    Re: Christian Guy fallen for Pagan Girl

    I agree with what's already been said. People often think that Mr Penry and I share the same beliefs but actually we don't. And Mr Penry (having at one time trained to be a priest although now very much one of the 'I don't know' brigade) can come at me with all sorts of interesting theories and arguments. We enjoy discussions of that sort and I feel it's really helped me develop along my own spiritual path. However, some people don't enjoy it and indeed feel quite threatened, so it's worth bearing in mind. There is a fine line between a lively discussion and an argument. You seem to have things pretty well in hand, just keep asking and checking so that you always know where - and what - her boundaries are. And yours too, of course! And good luck!
    www.thewolfenhowlepress.com


    Phantom Turnips never die.... they just get stewed occasionally....

  7. #7
    Eldritch Priestess Willow's Avatar
    Reputation
    Join Date
    Oct 2011
    Posts
    3,120
    Gender
    female
    Religion
    Staroverci

    Re: Christian Guy fallen for Pagan Girl

    Aw I think you made my day better just with this post.

    Gifts are nice. If you're crafty at all, I've seen spouses make wands, tarot boxes, runes, even altar's for one another for certain holidays (or birthdays, or general gifts to pick up someone's mood). Otherwise, there are a lot of metaphysical stores floating around that you could look at. I'd recommend http://www.13moons.com/ in particular.

    But overall, I would say communication is your best bet. Just tell her what you've said here, that you're absolutely fine with it and are interested in learning about her beliefs. That she has someone there that will always accept what she wants to practice.

  8. #8
    Time Lord Apostle Malflick's Avatar
    Reputation
    Join Date
    Mar 2013
    Posts
    1,380
    Gender
    male
    Religion
    Christian, worships Yahweh and Jesus, but doesn't care if you don't.

    Re: Christian Guy fallen for Pagan Girl

    Thank you- That was very reassuring to hear I'm already going about things the right way. This is a whole new thing I'm learning about; I knew next to nothing about modern Pagans until she told me she was one, so I've been very nervous asking her questions about her beliefs since I didn't want to offend her by asking something stupid, but talking openly with her (even when I've been awkward) has clearly been great for both of us. I know this will take time to build trust up with her, but I'm willing to put that in. I wish her family was being more accepting, but I can only do my part.

    I really appreciate the support and feedback. You guys are nice people, here.

    Juniper- we don't share a living space, but if we ever get to that point together, I'll glad you brought that up. Its definitely something for me to ponder.

    - - - Updated - - -

    Ljubezen- I'll be bookmarking that website! Thank you. I'm fairly 'crafty' but I'll need to get more familiar with how she practices before I undertake something of that nature ^_^. I don't think anyone has ever gotten her a gift that affirms her beliefs, so I think she would really appreciate it.

  9. #9
    sea witch thalassa's Avatar
    Reputation
    Join Date
    Oct 2005
    Posts
    11,228
    Religion
    relational theophysis and bioregional witchery
    Location
    coastal Georgia
    Phrase
    *a little bad taste is like a nice dash of paprika*

    Re: Christian Guy fallen for Pagan Girl

    Honestly...just tell her that!

    "Hey, I really like you, and I'm genuinely interested in your beliefs... I'm going to have lots of questions and I don't want you hurt because I say something stupid on accident so, please let me know if I'm asking something in a way that is offensive, and let me know how I could better rephrase something."

    And tbh, you can ask us too. We come from a variety of Pagan traditions and backgrounds. The best way to know what this girl personally believes is to ask her, but the best way to know what Pagans believe, is to ask at least a dozen or so the same question...you will get at least a dozen answers, if not more!
    “You have never answered but you did not need to. If I stand at the ocean I can hear you with your thousand voices. Sometimes you shout, hilarious laughter that taunts all questions. Other nights you are silent as death, a mirror in which the stars show themselves. Then I think you want to tell me something, but you never do. Of course I know I have written letters to no-one. But what if I find a trident tomorrow?" ~~Letters to Poseidon, Cees Nooteboom

    “We still carry this primal relationship to the Earth within our consciousness, even if we have long forgotten it. It is a primal recognition of the wonder, beauty, and divine nature of the Earth. It is a felt reverence for all that exists. Once we bring this foundational quality into our consciousness, we will be able to respond to our present man-made crisis from a place of balance, in which our actions will be grounded in an attitude of respect for all of life. This is the nature of real sustainability.”
    ~~Llewellyn Vaughan-Lee

    "We are the offspring of history, and must establish our own paths in this most diverse and interesting of conceivable universes--one indifferent to our suffering, and therefore offering us maximal freedom to thrive, or to fail, in our own chosen way."
    ~~Stephen Jay Gould, Wonderful Life: The Burgess Shale and the Nature of History

    "Humans are not rational creatures. Now, logic and rationality are very helpful tools, but there’s also a place for embracing our subjectivity and thinking symbolically. Sometimes what our so-called higher thinking can’t or won’t see, our older, more primitive intuition will." John Beckett

    Pagan Devotionals, because the wind and the rain is our Bible

  10. #10
    PF Ordo Hereticus MaskedOne's Avatar
    Reputation
    Join Date
    Mar 2009
    Posts
    7,803
    Religion
    Jedi
    Location
    elsewhere
    Phrase
    The ability to destroy a planet is insignificant compared to the power of the Force.

    Re: Christian Guy fallen for Pagan Girl

    Quote Originally Posted by thalassa View Post
    least a dozen or so the same question...you will get at least a dozen answers, if not more!
    I need to work on this issue. You guys aren't adequately insane until asking a dozen pagans gets at least 36 different answers if not more. People have been smuggling sanity around here and I do not approve.
    "It is not simply enough to know the light…a Jedi must feel the tension between the two sides of the Force…in himself and in the universe."
    ―Thon

    "When to the Force you truly give yourself, all you do expresses the truth of who you are,"

    Yoda

    Yoda told stories, and ate, and cried, and laughed: and the Padawans saw that life itself was a lightsaber in his hands; even in the face of treachery and death and hopes gone cold, he burned like a candle in the darkness. Like a star shining in the black eternity of space.

    Yoda: Dark Rendezvous

    "But those men who know anything at all about the Light also know that there is a fierceness to its power, like the bare sword of the law, or the white burning of the sun." Suddenly his voice sounded to Will very strong, and very Welsh. "At the very heart, that is. Other things, like humanity, and mercy, and charity, that most good men hold more precious than all else, they do not come first for the Light. Oh, sometimes they are there; often, indeed. But in the very long run the concern of you people is with the absolute good, ahead of all else..."

    John Rowlands, The Grey King by Susan Cooper

    "You come from the Lord Adam and the Lady Eve", said Aslan. "And that is both honour enough to erect the head of the poorest beggar, and shame enough to bow the shoulders of the greatest emperor on earth; be content."

    Aslan, Prince Caspian by CS Lewis



Similar Threads

  1. Buy some GIRL SCOUT COOKIES!!!
    By thalassa in forum Plugs
    Replies: 2
    Last Post: 23 Jan 2015, 13:26
  2. How to be a Pagan in an a Christian Household?
    By ShadyoFayx in forum Catacombs
    Replies: 13
    Last Post: 26 Jan 2013, 17:03
  3. Christian-Pagan marriage
    By anunitu in forum Catacombs
    Replies: 4
    Last Post: 01 Mar 2012, 02:42
  4. Replies: 42
    Last Post: 16 Sep 2011, 14:00

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •