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    #31
    Re: Christian Guy fallen for Pagan Girl

    Originally posted by Oden_son View Post
    Everyone's different, but the last time i dated a Christian girl what made me so comfortable around her was that while she didn't believe what I believe she still thought it was cool to the point where she enjoyed alot of pagan music and loved movies and videogames like skyrim/lord of the rings and understood the connection between those stories and pagan mythology.
    I love mythology, though obviously it has a different significance for me then her, and we have a lot of fun discussing the ties between modern things (such as lord of the rings) and myths... So that is good then.

    What do you mean by Pagan music ?
    hey look, I have a book! And look I have a second one too!

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      #32
      Re: Christian Guy fallen for Pagan Girl

      Click image for larger version

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      My girlfriend said I could share this-- we took a few pictures celebrating our interfaith relationship, her wearing her pentagram and me wearing my crucifix !

      Also, you guys now all know what I look like lol....
      hey look, I have a book! And look I have a second one too!

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        #33
        Re: Christian Guy fallen for Pagan Girl

        Ya'll are ADORABLE!
        Wonderful Life: The Burgess Shale and the Nature of HistoryPagan Devotionals, because the wind and the rain is our Bible
        sigpic

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          #34
          Re: Christian Guy fallen for Pagan Girl

          Awww, so cute
          I think this picture just sucked all of the manly out of me.

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            #35
            Re: Christian Guy fallen for Pagan Girl

            Originally posted by iflewoverthecuckoosnest View Post
            Awww, so cute
            I think this picture just sucked all of the manly out of me.
            Originally posted by thalassa View Post
            Ya'll are ADORABLE!
            ^_^ Thank you.
            hey look, I have a book! And look I have a second one too!

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              #36
              Re: Christian Guy fallen for Pagan Girl

              Hi again... So I need you guys' help once again. This time though, its about a different Pagan!

              My girlfriend's brother.

              So, their parents, as I've noted, are both Christian, while she and her brother and different varieties of Pagan. I've been hoping to go down and visit her and her family, and meet her Brother and her Dad (Well, I briefly met her dad before, but we weren't dating then and I we didn't really talk. Regardless....) her brother has apparently been sparring with her for respecting my religious beliefs, and has been telling her that she isn't a "true Pagan". Not to mention he's been pretty disrespectful to me on Facebook lately...

              So... If I go to visit, how do I deal with a Pagan who thinks I oppressed and destroyed his faith and that my beliefs deserve no respect, and in fact, active scorn. Also, I'm dating his sister.

              I am frankly pretty baffled this is a thing that is happening in all reality XD... I really never would have guessed this would be a thing I would be dealing with. While I'm sure I can wing it and come of generally okay, if you guys have any advice I would certainly appreciate it. I'd rather like to be on good terms with her family.

              Thank you! (again)
              hey look, I have a book! And look I have a second one too!

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                #37
                Re: Christian Guy fallen for Pagan Girl

                Originally posted by Malflick View Post
                Hi again... So I need you guys' help once again. This time though, its about a different Pagan!

                My girlfriend's brother.

                So, their parents, as I've noted, are both Christian, while she and her brother and different varieties of Pagan. I've been hoping to go down and visit her and her family, and meet her Brother and her Dad (Well, I briefly met her dad before, but we weren't dating then and I we didn't really talk. Regardless....) her brother has apparently been sparring with her for respecting my religious beliefs, and has been telling her that she isn't a "true Pagan". Not to mention he's been pretty disrespectful to me on Facebook lately...

                So... If I go to visit, how do I deal with a Pagan who thinks I oppressed and destroyed his faith and that my beliefs deserve no respect, and in fact, active scorn. Also, I'm dating his sister.

                I am frankly pretty baffled this is a thing that is happening in all reality XD... I really never would have guessed this would be a thing I would be dealing with. While I'm sure I can wing it and come of generally okay, if you guys have any advice I would certainly appreciate it. I'd rather like to be on good terms with her family.

                Thank you! (again)
                I would probably point out something along the lines of how he is persecuting you the same way Christians persecuted Pagans way back in the day...

                But that's not very helpful advice. Also historically relevant, when Christianity was first rising in Ancient Rome, the romans (pagans) persecuted the christians and jews for being 'atheists' - literally, without-deity, because they only worship one god, instead of all the gods.

                I don't really have anything useful. Be polite, try and show him that you're still human, despite being Christian, and if he still pushes it, at the end of the day, AT BEST, he'll only be your brother-in-law, and doesn't really need to be family.

                From what I've heard, it's okay to hate your in-laws!


                Mostly art.

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                  #38
                  Re: Christian Guy fallen for Pagan Girl

                  I'm afraid that there's no quick fix to blind anger/hatred/rudeness, especially when it's religion-based. As Vol said, just be a good human being. You may never agree when it comes to spiritual practice but if you force him to see you as an individual and not some faceless pawn of something he's chosen to hate, you may then start to get through to him. It'll just take time and patience.
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                    #39
                    Re: Christian Guy fallen for Pagan Girl

                    I find it best in these situations to, "kill them with kindness.", as the saying goes. I have had to do this with many people, some my own family, ever since I came out of the proverbial broom closet. Always remember that you only have control over your own choices. There is little merit in stressing about the choices of others.
                    I hope things go well for you.
                    If men had wings and bore black feathers, few of them would be clever enough to be crows. ---Henry Ward Beecher

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                      #40
                      Re: Christian Guy fallen for Pagan Girl

                      Aww I think you are doing a wonderful job just as you are
                      alone the fact that you are not doing the things that other people have done/are doing to her makes your behavior awesome!!
                      On top of that, you are interested in her beliefs and are curious/acceptable...which is another great thing that you are doing!!!
                      i think you are on a wonderful path...and i dont believe no pagan girl could wish for anything better from a christian guy haha
                      advice, i agree with Thalassa...tell her what you told us just in that manner...its great!!

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                        #41
                        Re: Christian Guy fallen for Pagan Girl

                        Originally posted by Malflick View Post
                        Hi again... So I need you guys' help once again. This time though, its about a different Pagan!

                        My girlfriend's brother.

                        So, their parents, as I've noted, are both Christian, while she and her brother and different varieties of Pagan. I've been hoping to go down and visit her and her family, and meet her Brother and her Dad (Well, I briefly met her dad before, but we weren't dating then and I we didn't really talk. Regardless....) her brother has apparently been sparring with her for respecting my religious beliefs, and has been telling her that she isn't a "true Pagan". Not to mention he's been pretty disrespectful to me on Facebook lately...

                        So... If I go to visit, how do I deal with a Pagan who thinks I oppressed and destroyed his faith and that my beliefs deserve no respect, and in fact, active scorn. Also, I'm dating his sister.

                        I am frankly pretty baffled this is a thing that is happening in all reality XD... I really never would have guessed this would be a thing I would be dealing with. While I'm sure I can wing it and come of generally okay, if you guys have any advice I would certainly appreciate it. I'd rather like to be on good terms with her family.

                        Thank you! (again)
                        I wish I had some really good advice on that front. My belief has always been very private. Aside from the forum, there are only a handful of people that know my path and I prefer to keep it that way. So far, I've never met a person that persecuted me about what I believe and so it's very difficult for me to put myself into your shoes. However, I agree with Volcaniclastic and Crynnath's replies. You don't have to win his heart but it's generally a good idea to just be kind to the family of the person you are dating. It sounds like your girlfriend's brother probably just needs some exposure to you and - in my personal opinion - he's acting rather close-minded and immature about the situation. Some people are just so blinded by what happened in the past that they can't see the beautiful things in front of them. The bond that you and your girlfriend share is, in fact, a very beautiful thing.
                        �Experience is what you get when you didn't get what you wanted. And experience is often the most valuable thing you have to offer.�
                        ― Randy Pausch, The Last Lecture
                        Sneak Attack
                        Avatar picture by the wonderful and talented TJSGrimm.

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                          #42
                          Re: Christian Guy fallen for Pagan Girl

                          Originally posted by volcaniclastic View Post
                          I would probably point out something along the lines of how he is persecuting you the same way Christians persecuted Pagans way back in the day...

                          But that's not very helpful advice. Also historically relevant, when Christianity was first rising in Ancient Rome, the romans (pagans) persecuted the christians and jews for being 'atheists' - literally, without-deity, because they only worship one god, instead of all the gods.

                          I don't really have anything useful. Be polite, try and show him that you're still human, despite being Christian, and if he still pushes it, at the end of the day, AT BEST, he'll only be your brother-in-law, and doesn't really need to be family.

                          From what I've heard, it's okay to hate your in-laws!
                          Thing is, he seems like a cool guy generally. We like a lot of the same nerdy things, he is a gay rights activist... We really should be practically skipping through the tulips aside from the religion bit. But you're right, I basically should just be nice, and hope he comes around...

                          And um, I certainly hope he'll be my brother-in-law someday (blushes profusely).

                          I'm kind of curious to ask him if he is heavily into the "mailed fist over the nailed hands" stuff as an Asatru.

                          - - - Updated - - -

                          Originally posted by wisp View Post
                          I'm afraid that there's no quick fix to blind anger/hatred/rudeness, especially when it's religion-based. As Vol said, just be a good human being. You may never agree when it comes to spiritual practice but if you force him to see you as an individual and not some faceless pawn of something he's chosen to hate, you may then start to get through to him. It'll just take time and patience.
                          This is good advice. I will do my best at this. I hope this improves his attitude towards both myself and his sister over time. Its more okay for him to be mad at me then to be mad at her for not disapproving of my religion. But I am good at patience. Niceness ho!

                          - - - Updated - - -

                          Originally posted by Crynnath View Post
                          I find it best in these situations to, "kill them with kindness.", as the saying goes. I have had to do this with many people, some my own family, ever since I came out of the proverbial broom closet. Always remember that you only have control over your own choices. There is little merit in stressing about the choices of others.
                          I hope things go well for you.
                          Thank you. I'm sorry you've had to deal with this so often. I've had to deal with similar stuff before from fellow Christians who hated Catholics, but the arguments I used with them ("We're all brothers and sisters in christ!") don't really apply here XD. And well... It was never with my own family .
                          Again, this is great advice. I really appreciate it.

                          - - - Updated - - -

                          Originally posted by Lilium of the Valley View Post
                          Aww I think you are doing a wonderful job just as you are
                          alone the fact that you are not doing the things that other people have done/are doing to her makes your behavior awesome!!
                          On top of that, you are interested in her beliefs and are curious/acceptable...which is another great thing that you are doing!!!
                          i think you are on a wonderful path...and i dont believe no pagan girl could wish for anything better from a christian guy haha
                          advice, i agree with Thalassa...tell her what you told us just in that manner...its great!!
                          aw, thank you ^_^. I have told her as such now. We're doing really well. I'm happier with her then I've ever been with a Christian girl, and yet we're very open in talking about our religion to each other, more open then I am with other Christians even. Its pretty great. Apparently telling people thing and being open with them leads to trust-- who knew ^_^?

                          - - - Updated - - -

                          Originally posted by Juniper View Post
                          I wish I had some really good advice on that front. My belief has always been very private. Aside from the forum, there are only a handful of people that know my path and I prefer to keep it that way. So far, I've never met a person that persecuted me about what I believe and so it's very difficult for me to put myself into your shoes. However, I agree with Volcaniclastic and Crynnath's replies. You don't have to win his heart but it's generally a good idea to just be kind to the family of the person you are dating. It sounds like your girlfriend's brother probably just needs some exposure to you and - in my personal opinion - he's acting rather close-minded and immature about the situation. Some people are just so blinded by what happened in the past that they can't see the beautiful things in front of them. The bond that you and your girlfriend share is, in fact, a very beautiful thing.
                          Indeed. And thank you, also. I hope just being around me does wonders. And... yes it is beautiful. You're right, it really is. Lots of people still seem surprised we not only 'make it work' but that its turned out in the end to almost be a non-issue once we opened up to each other about it. And if he can't see how much our bond has made our lives better, well, that's his issue.

                          I appreciate everyone's feedback, truly.
                          hey look, I have a book! And look I have a second one too!

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                            #43
                            Re: Christian Guy fallen for Pagan Girl

                            Malflick, I have decided I like you, quite a bit, and you are I are going to talk, ok?

                            haha

                            Now I understand your "hope" comment in the handfasting thread. It appears we are opposites, I'm a pagan girl whose just married a Christian guy. He's no where near as nice as you about the pagan thing though. We just cannot seem to do anything together. All I want is to find common ground and share religious experiences, but he isn't open to it. Your Easter/equinox thing sounds great.

                            Loving the way your doing things. From the pagan girl, you're doing it right.
                            ThorSon's milkshake brings all the PF girls to the yard - Volcaniclastic

                            RIP

                            I have never been across the way
                            Seen the desert and the birds
                            You cut your hair short
                            Like a shush to an insult
                            The world had been yelling
                            Since the day you were born
                            Revolting with anger
                            While it smiled like it was cute
                            That everything was shit.

                            - J. Wylder

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                              #44
                              Re: Christian Guy fallen for Pagan Girl

                              Originally posted by Heka View Post
                              Malflick, I have decided I like you, quite a bit, and you are I are going to talk, ok?

                              haha

                              Now I understand your "hope" comment in the handfasting thread. It appears we are opposites, I'm a pagan girl whose just married a Christian guy. He's no where near as nice as you about the pagan thing though. We just cannot seem to do anything together. All I want is to find common ground and share religious experiences, but he isn't open to it. Your Easter/equinox thing sounds great.

                              Loving the way your doing things. From the pagan girl, you're doing it right.
                              Ok I would be more than happy to chat with you on these and related topics.

                              Yep, that is the hope. I'm sorry he's not quite so understanding-- though I have no interest in being Pagan I know its an important part of her life, and I want to share it with her and understand it. Hopefully we can do many more holidays together .

                              Thank you, I'm really glad to hear affirmation on how I've been going about things, especially from someone in her position!

                              I hope you two find more common ground on that front.
                              hey look, I have a book! And look I have a second one too!

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                                #45
                                Re: Christian Guy fallen for Pagan Girl

                                (oh, and just Private Message me if you wanted to chat privately about anything!)
                                hey look, I have a book! And look I have a second one too!

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