"Your spiritual stuff and all that cr**"

[Yazichestvo]

Yesterday I was lamenting not being able to celebrate the spring equinox because I'm so busy with classes, and my girlfriend shrugged it off in a way that surprised me. She said I would have time for my spiritual stuff an "all that cr**." Once I graduated. She seemed to realize what she said, and tried to explain it away, saying she didn't mean it was any more ridiculous than any other religion. This really confused me, since she's always identified as "spiritual". When I tried to have a talk with her about religion, she was a bit evasive. It makes me wonder, because she's generally very nice, but I don't know now if there isn't a degree of disrespect for me lurking below the surface. I'm not sure if I should force a discussion or not.

[Juniper]

Re: "Your spiritual stuff and all that cr**"

I think that inevitably a discussion will need to happen. As for right now? There could be a chance that you may be taking it a little too personal since you said you've been very busy with school. However, Spirituality is always a very personal thing and if you feel like there is an undertone of disrespect then that definitely needs to be addressed. Probably sooner than later.

[LizardMind]

Re: "Your spiritual stuff and all that cr**"

What Juniper said.

Inevitably, this is going to come to the surface again in some way or another.

[Tylluan Penry]

Re: "Your spiritual stuff and all that cr**"

Spirituality takes many forms, and sometimes even spiritual people can be a bit flippant about it. Have some discussions by all means, but don't read more into it than necessary unless or until she expands on her ideas a bit further. Sometimes people use spirituality as a cloak, without realising that it has to be more than a 'cover'. True spirituality runs right through us, like a stick of seaside rock (not sure if you have that in the US though....)

[SPhoenix]

Re: "Your spiritual stuff and all that cr**"

My husband has made flippant comments about it before, too. I just don't discuss it with him. Our partner cannot be all things to us. He's not my spiritual confidante, he's other things to me. I have friends for the rest. On the other hand, I think a specific statement to her might be in order, that you will be celebrating these things, and any children you might have in the future would be celebrating them with you. If that would cause your partner to make snide comments in front of them, then that could turn into a major problem in the relationship. However, I don't think that my husband's nonchalant, even cavalier attitude towards my spiritual proclivities is disrespectful... just not necessarily openly supportive. In some things, I think that indifferent is acceptable. But I wouldn't accept him making snide comments when I was doing a ritual with our daughter... and I know he wouldn't.

[callmeclemens]

Re: "Your spiritual stuff and all that cr**"

When my wife see's me put the time and practice into my "path" I never hear anything close to a complaint. Though when it appears as though I've lost a bit of my gusto, she always begins to question, which may be her method of motivation.

[Denarius]

Re: "Your spiritual stuff and all that cr**"

Sometimes people use the term spiritual to mean poetic, artistic, hippy, or "open minded." In other words they use it wrongly. She could very well just be non-religious, and/or an atheist.

Basically, this all depends on how cool she is with you being yourself and how cool you are with her being herself. Everything else is just a matter of diplomacy.

[Willow]

Re: "Your spiritual stuff and all that cr**"

It might be transference. As in, if she's stressed out about other things her patience may be shorter than normal. It might not have anything to do with your beliefs, or hers, it might have just been something that slipped out. Communication is best.

[thalassa]

Re: "Your spiritual stuff and all that cr**"

Honestly...it could mean nothing at all.

Sometimes I think that there are three types of people in the world when it comes to spirituality--for the first type spirituality is nonsense, for the second type spirituality is a luxury, and for the third type spirituality is a necessity. For type 1, its always "spiritual shit", and they literally mean that they think its shit...but for someone that is type 2, spirituality is something you do when everything else is done, and trying to fit it in and work on it when you should be doing practical things seems like a waste of time, effort, and energy--its not that they don't respect it, or that they don't have a value for it, but...its sort of like the icing on the cake when the cake hasn't baked yet. If you are someone that considers your spirituality a necessity to your life, to your sanity and to your well being (type 3), then there will occasionally be some conflict. The hubby and I run into this issue from time to time--he's a type 2 and I'm a type 3. He appreciates it, but its not the core of who he is.

Everyone in a while, he says something dumb...but once its pointed out, he's usually like "Oh, crap...I'm sorry, that's not what I meant! I meant....". And, tbh, clarifying badly communicated ideas and comments should be a regular part of a relationship. So, the best thing to do (IMO) is say something like "Hey, when this came up the other day, and I said ________, you said _______, and it sort of took me aback. I'm not sure if you mean it literally--which sort of hurts my feelings, or if you meant something else. Could you clairfy a bit?"

[Clive]

Re: "Your spiritual stuff and all that cr**"

It probably was nothing more than a silly comment. I have had similar problems with friends who thought I was some wonderful wizard who could make their dreams come true with spells. It did feel disrespectful in that they were, in essence, treating me like a magic factory. All it took, though, was a simple explanation that what I do wasn't a business or a lark, but an important component of my life. If it comes up again, a short and sweet explanation of what your path means to you should do the trick.