Alright, I feel really stupid posting this, but I'm sort of in need of opinions, advice, whatever, I don't know. I really hope I'm posting this in the right place, I wasn't sure where to. I'll try to keep it short but there's a lot to tell.
In summary, I deal with precog a lot, and it's become a huge problem because it sucks and it's really all but ruining me right now because of a particular issue. I've never dared talk about it because I expect people to laugh me out of the room, get angry or react poorly, or just generally not be helpful, based on previous attempts to reach out about all this. I'm tired of being secretive about something that's a plague to me and if that means I get called a freak or full of crap, at this point so be it. Might as well try.
For me, the precognition doesn't really wait politely for me to seek it out via, say, divination or something. I DO use divination but it's not as reliable as the involuntary stuff. I can't control my precognition, except to occasionally turn it off or stifle it temporarily. It hits me upside the head like a damned baseball bat without warning and it tortures me repetitively until the event actually happens, and until the event happens I feel like I'm watching a slow train wreck I can only rarely stop. I get hit with visions that will overwhelm me out of nowhere and make me feel like I'm already in the situation ahead of me - I'll have dreams or nightmares that are intense and repetitive - I get what I call "flashes" that hit me hard for just split seconds at a time, giving the small but vital details of a situation to come. I draw people, see them, dream about them or have intense visions about them years before I ever meet them, and in the meantime I'm left wondering who the hell this person is and why it's plaguing me. I get warnings both good and bad for important events but I have to tell you, it's not really beneficial and it's more often a curse than a blessing. If I tell someone about a vision I had, it does no good, nobody cares and nobody actually wants to know about the future. I can't count the number of times I've been screamed at by someone I warned of something, and then approached after the fact with wide eyes and fear or anger or hostility as they admit whatever I saw was right. I'm constantly the deliverer of messages, warnings, and forecasts that I never wanted to know in the first place, knowing too much, and it does NOT feel like a gift to me, it feels like a curse. Friends get creeped out by me because I'm that girl that "just knows things". I never asked for this and I've only told a few of my most trusted friends or spoken about it anonymously because it makes me feel like a freak.
For the last few months I've been crippled by visions of some guy I've seen for most of my life - I imagine it's plagued me so hard because it's so vitally important, and my precog seems to be more persistent the more important the subject matter. I don't know who this guy is but it's killing me and I'm sick of dealing with these stupid things. I just want to meet whoever the hell he is and get it over with. I've dealt with this many times before. It's like a radar. As I get closer to the event the visions, dreams, etc. speed up and become more frequent and painful until I'm faced with the event or person itself/themselves. I know it's coming, I know I'm closer to it because the visions are completely crippling lately. But like a slow train wreck, I can't do anything about it, and I don't know who or where the heck this guy is. All I know is...gods over the years? prettymuch everything about him but his name. And I'm exhausted from it. I don't know if I'm supposed to be actively looking for his ass or just sitting waiting for him to waltz across me in the store or something, and this whole thing weirds me out so much. Most of the people I saw/drew/dreamed-about/whatever I ended up just meeting "by chance" (I don't believe in chance or coincidence anymore, I can't, not with what I deal with) later on, but the sense of urgency for this one borders on panic. It's ridiculous!!
What in the world am I supposed to do with this? I don't know, I'm expecting to hear that I'm full of crap and I can't exactly blame anyone who thinks that either; how can I expect anyone to believe me when I'm just some chick on the internet making claims that sound like something another person might try to brag about? If I heard someone making claims like this and I'd never experienced it I'd probably think they might be an attention whore because let's face it, those are rampant on the internet. But whatever, this is a desperate shot in the dark, I just wonder if anyone has any ideas...? I sure as heck don't know where else to go to ask about this kind of thing. I mean look, if this was a bad idea to bring up I'll just drop the subject entirely and never mention it again (if not disappear in shame, dear god), I really don't want to bother anyone or raise a fuss. Just thought I'd see...
In summary, I deal with precog a lot, and it's become a huge problem because it sucks and it's really all but ruining me right now because of a particular issue. I've never dared talk about it because I expect people to laugh me out of the room, get angry or react poorly, or just generally not be helpful, based on previous attempts to reach out about all this. I'm tired of being secretive about something that's a plague to me and if that means I get called a freak or full of crap, at this point so be it. Might as well try.
For me, the precognition doesn't really wait politely for me to seek it out via, say, divination or something. I DO use divination but it's not as reliable as the involuntary stuff. I can't control my precognition, except to occasionally turn it off or stifle it temporarily. It hits me upside the head like a damned baseball bat without warning and it tortures me repetitively until the event actually happens, and until the event happens I feel like I'm watching a slow train wreck I can only rarely stop. I get hit with visions that will overwhelm me out of nowhere and make me feel like I'm already in the situation ahead of me - I'll have dreams or nightmares that are intense and repetitive - I get what I call "flashes" that hit me hard for just split seconds at a time, giving the small but vital details of a situation to come. I draw people, see them, dream about them or have intense visions about them years before I ever meet them, and in the meantime I'm left wondering who the hell this person is and why it's plaguing me. I get warnings both good and bad for important events but I have to tell you, it's not really beneficial and it's more often a curse than a blessing. If I tell someone about a vision I had, it does no good, nobody cares and nobody actually wants to know about the future. I can't count the number of times I've been screamed at by someone I warned of something, and then approached after the fact with wide eyes and fear or anger or hostility as they admit whatever I saw was right. I'm constantly the deliverer of messages, warnings, and forecasts that I never wanted to know in the first place, knowing too much, and it does NOT feel like a gift to me, it feels like a curse. Friends get creeped out by me because I'm that girl that "just knows things". I never asked for this and I've only told a few of my most trusted friends or spoken about it anonymously because it makes me feel like a freak.
For the last few months I've been crippled by visions of some guy I've seen for most of my life - I imagine it's plagued me so hard because it's so vitally important, and my precog seems to be more persistent the more important the subject matter. I don't know who this guy is but it's killing me and I'm sick of dealing with these stupid things. I just want to meet whoever the hell he is and get it over with. I've dealt with this many times before. It's like a radar. As I get closer to the event the visions, dreams, etc. speed up and become more frequent and painful until I'm faced with the event or person itself/themselves. I know it's coming, I know I'm closer to it because the visions are completely crippling lately. But like a slow train wreck, I can't do anything about it, and I don't know who or where the heck this guy is. All I know is...gods over the years? prettymuch everything about him but his name. And I'm exhausted from it. I don't know if I'm supposed to be actively looking for his ass or just sitting waiting for him to waltz across me in the store or something, and this whole thing weirds me out so much. Most of the people I saw/drew/dreamed-about/whatever I ended up just meeting "by chance" (I don't believe in chance or coincidence anymore, I can't, not with what I deal with) later on, but the sense of urgency for this one borders on panic. It's ridiculous!!
What in the world am I supposed to do with this? I don't know, I'm expecting to hear that I'm full of crap and I can't exactly blame anyone who thinks that either; how can I expect anyone to believe me when I'm just some chick on the internet making claims that sound like something another person might try to brag about? If I heard someone making claims like this and I'd never experienced it I'd probably think they might be an attention whore because let's face it, those are rampant on the internet. But whatever, this is a desperate shot in the dark, I just wonder if anyone has any ideas...? I sure as heck don't know where else to go to ask about this kind of thing. I mean look, if this was a bad idea to bring up I'll just drop the subject entirely and never mention it again (if not disappear in shame, dear god), I really don't want to bother anyone or raise a fuss. Just thought I'd see...
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