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Thread: How do You overcome of your Fears?

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    Lilium of the Valley
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    Post How do You overcome of your Fears?

    as the Title says...How do You personally overcome your fears?

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    Supporter Kahlenda's Avatar
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    Re: How do You overcome of your Fears?

    one of two ways, when im doing something with the cadets or staff, i get told "MTFU" i swallow and just do it(or get pushed).

    or when i'm on my own or with other people, i center myself i clear my mind and focus on the objective and only that i do what needs to be done while not actually thinking about myself doing it.

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    Sr. Member wisp's Avatar
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    Re: How do You overcome of your Fears?

    I whine and hop around a bit, and pace a lot, nearly faint a few times, and then, when I've gotten myself amply worked up, I just dive in. I'm pretty good about the actual facing of fears...it's the getting myself to do it that's the issue. I have these moments of bravery where I agree to do something that scares me (show my work to a professional, go out for a social event with people who are fairly new to me..etc..) and, because I feel guilty letting anyone down, I end up sticking to it. But I'm really slippery otherwise about avoiding those situations so I just need to..kinda trap myself.

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    Cannibal Rights Activist Ophidia's Avatar
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    Re: How do You overcome of your Fears?

    For me it's knowledge and exposure - and determining exactly how in depth my exposure needs to be. If I'm truly afraid of something, my first and favorite course of action is avoidance.

    I used to be afraid of spiders. Like hyperventilating-screaming-crying afraid of spiders. Could not look at them in pictures or on t.v., couldn't talk about them, if I found one in the room of the house I would destroy the room or myself trying to get away.

    Then I met my husband, and watching him pull my histrionics over a spider made me realize how big a fool I looked. Since I was marginally less terrified by spiders than he was, and could bring myself to commit insecticide, I became the de facto spider killer. One day I refused to kill one. It was tiny - like smaller than a pinhead. It was in a humorous spot (sitting on his toilet paper roll). I brought myself to pull a little of the roll out and take the thing outside. Eventually, both of us were able to tolerate tiny wee spiders in strange places around the house.

    Then we moved into this house, which is infested with bark scorpions - which can actually kill an adult person. And so my crash course in 'good bug vs bad bug' began. I started out thinking how pretty the bark scorpions actually are - they are, they're small, delicate, deadly creatures. They didn't trigger my spider fear-response. Because I paid attention to them, their habits and how they invaded the environment, I began to see my back yard as a microcosm, with its own distinct biomes. Now we tend to investigate before we kill, and it's amazing how many unique species of bug can live in a desert back yard.

    But, using my bare hands, I still can't pick up a spider that I know is harmless if it's bigger than a pinhead. Even though some of our local spiders are amusing (like fuzzy bug-eyed jumping spiders) they are still too alien for me to want to touch. Same goes for house centipedes - I love them, but don't want them on me. And I'm ok with being at that level. I don't need to pick up bugs with my bare hands - I have plastic containers, brooms, paper, things to catch and scoop. My fear has moved past 'fight or flight' and into general avoidance, and I'm good there.
    The forum member formerly known as perzephone. Or Perze. I've shed a skin.

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    bibliophibian volcaniclastic's Avatar
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    Re: How do You overcome of your Fears?

    I avoid it. And if it's something that I can't avoid, or that I feel stupid about being afraid about, then...I just do it.

    I used to be afraid of heights, which is stupid because I like to rock climb. So, one day I had a friend grab my ankles and I told him to lower me off the edge of a cliff. And I hung there. And I hung there, and continued to hang there, until I realized it's not actually that scary.

    *don't try this at home
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  6. #6
    Lilium of the Valley
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    Re: How do You overcome of your Fears?

    Quote Originally Posted by perzephone View Post
    For me it's knowledge and exposure - and determining exactly how in depth my exposure needs to be. If I'm truly afraid of something, my first and favorite course of action is avoidance.

    I used to be afraid of spiders. Like hyperventilating-screaming-crying afraid of spiders. Could not look at them in pictures or on t.v., couldn't talk about them, if I found one in the room of the house I would destroy the room or myself trying to get away.

    Then I met my husband, and watching him pull my histrionics over a spider made me realize how big a fool I looked. Since I was marginally less terrified by spiders than he was, and could bring myself to commit insecticide, I became the de facto spider killer. One day I refused to kill one. It was tiny - like smaller than a pinhead. It was in a humorous spot (sitting on his toilet paper roll). I brought myself to pull a little of the roll out and take the thing outside. Eventually, both of us were able to tolerate tiny wee spiders in strange places around the house.

    Then we moved into this house, which is infested with bark scorpions - which can actually kill an adult person. And so my crash course in 'good bug vs bad bug' began. I started out thinking how pretty the bark scorpions actually are - they are, they're small, delicate, deadly creatures. They didn't trigger my spider fear-response. Because I paid attention to them, their habits and how they invaded the environment, I began to see my back yard as a microcosm, with its own distinct biomes. Now we tend to investigate before we kill, and it's amazing how many unique species of bug can live in a desert back yard.

    But, using my bare hands, I still can't pick up a spider that I know is harmless if it's bigger than a pinhead. Even though some of our local spiders are amusing (like fuzzy bug-eyed jumping spiders) they are still too alien for me to want to touch. Same goes for house centipedes - I love them, but don't want them on me. And I'm ok with being at that level. I don't need to pick up bugs with my bare hands - I have plastic containers, brooms, paper, things to catch and scoop. My fear has moved past 'fight or flight' and into general avoidance, and I'm good there.
    The hyperventilating - screaming - running into closed doors - trying to escape...that would also be me...and its all about spiders!!! i cant (as you described) watch them on tv...see pictures of them...barely talk about them...without feeling creepy crawly and thinking there is something on me. and i have that about many insects...they just "yuck me out"!
    it gets in the way of my everyday life though and i just don't want that anymore...so now i am trying to find ways to get over being afraid and massively grossed out by insects.
    today i spotted a small one....i took a glass and a piece of cardboard, telling myself "you are going to catch it and let it free" over and over, whilst getting up on a chair to reach it...once i was in front of it, it moved...i dropped the glass (trust me i will be using plastic next time...learned that lesson) barely got off the chair without breaking my neck and ran into the other room. it took me 10 minutes to calm down...they just give me the creeps so bad!! and i feel foolish for being this insane over a little inky dinky spider.

    - - - Updated - - -

    Quote Originally Posted by wisp View Post
    I whine and hop around a bit, and pace a lot, nearly faint a few times
    this sounds familiar...lol

    - - - Updated - - -

    Quote Originally Posted by volcaniclastic View Post
    So, one day I had a friend grab my ankles and I told him to lower me off the edge of a cliff. And I hung there. And I hung there, and continued to hang there, until I realized it's not actually that scary
    that is truly awesome. not allot of people can just do that....RESPECT!!!

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    Bronze Member Clive's Avatar
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    Re: How do You overcome of your Fears?

    Quote Originally Posted by volcaniclastic View Post
    I avoid it. And if it's something that I can't avoid, or that I feel stupid about being afraid about, then...I just do it.

    I used to be afraid of heights, which is stupid because I like to rock climb. So, one day I had a friend grab my ankles and I told him to lower me off the edge of a cliff. And I hung there. And I hung there, and continued to hang there, until I realized it's not actually that scary.

    *don't try this at home
    You are much braver than I, I can tell you that.

    I'm afraid of heights and of flying. I've never been on an airplane before, and this summer I'm moving to Hawaii. I'm sure as hell willing to face my fear of flying if it means living on the Big Island with my loved ones. A nerve pill and several alcoholic beverages will surely be imbibed on the plane, but it's gonna happen.
    Children love and want to be loved and they very much prefer the joy of accomplishment to the triumph of hateful failure. Do not mistake a child for his symptom.
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    bibliophibian volcaniclastic's Avatar
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    Re: How do You overcome of your Fears?

    Quote Originally Posted by Clive View Post
    You are much braver than I, I can tell you that.

    I'm afraid of heights and of flying. I've never been on an airplane before, and this summer I'm moving to Hawaii. I'm sure as hell willing to face my fear of flying if it means living on the Big Island with my loved ones. A nerve pill and several alcoholic beverages will surely be imbibed on the plane, but it's gonna happen.
    Planes really aren't all that bad. I used to not like them, but I work in an industry where I fly ten's of thousands of kilometres every year. I kinda had to get over it.
    “The world is big and I want to have a good look at it before it gets dark.” – John Muir

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    Sr. Member WinterTraditions's Avatar
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    Re: How do You overcome of your Fears?

    I, sadly, don't know how to overcome my fears and anxieties. Because of my anxiety disorder, it's very difficult for me to think positively during a time of stress or fear. I have quite severe anxiety attacks when driving and off my pills. I refuse to drive, and when someone else is driving me somewhere, I am constantly checking their speed, keeping their phones away, and telling them of any suspicious cars driving nearby. I constantly think up episodes that could happen during a drive. (What if that car slams on its breaks? We don't have enough room to stop in time. What if the car behind us doesn't stop when we stop? What if someone goes through this light while we're passing?)

    And for my phobias, you are permitted to laugh: I am terrified of windchimes and plastic bags (during the night or any period I am not preoccupied with something) The sounds windchimes and bags make send shivers down my spin and I find myself whimpering and pacing around the house if I cannot get rid of them. My great grandmother has two windchimes outside, and one above the entrance door in a way that if you open the door more than 1/4, you trigger them.

    The drive there is three hours, and generally by the 2-hour mark I begin to panic and hyperventilate. When we arrive, I make it my mission to be the first person at the door so I can hold the door open just enough so that the windchimes are not triggered. If they are triggered at any point after sundown, I go into a meltdown episode. One time, I even freaked so much that I passed out.

    As for plastic bags... I will not throw anything in the garbage can an hour before I am to go to bed. There are no plastic bags within my room, not even for the disposal can.

    Haha, so... I'm just gonna stalk this thread to see if anyone can share how to solve these phobias xD



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    Cannibal Rights Activist Ophidia's Avatar
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    Re: How do You overcome of your Fears?

    I think people beat themselves up too much when they're afraid of something. Fear is a natural and healthy response to something that may be a threat or harmful.

    Modern humans have trouble with those perfectly natural fear responses. There isn't a lot out there that constitutes a real threat, at least not in a lions-tigers-tramplingherdofbuffalo kind of way. So you have to sort of train yourself not to react to every threat like it's a mountain lion primed to pounce. Everything around us tells us over and over again that we're surrounded by threats - global warming, chemicals in our food & water, disease, fellow humans - so we're constantly primed for those mountain lions to leap out at us. With that kind of constant, unending stress surrounding us, eventually something is going to trigger that fight-or-flight response in our bodies while our brains are going, "Wait, wtf, that's a guy in weird make-up entertaining children, why are you screaming?"
    The forum member formerly known as perzephone. Or Perze. I've shed a skin.

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