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    Being a Godly Wife. Your thoughts?

    I stumbled upon this on Pinterest the other day (I'm an addict) and wanted to show it to you guys to see what you think. Pinterest can be a very Christian place and I usually just skip over what doesn't apply to me because it really doesn't bother me and I respect other's faith, but out of morbid curiosity I decided to check this out. It's been nagging at me a little bit. It bothered me to see some of this girl's comments for a variety of reasons, and I'm curious as to your opinions!



    Obviously, some of the things that she says are common sense in a relationship, like listening to each other and such. But other things I found very impractical and offensive. Let me know what you think!

    #2
    Re: Being a Godly Wife. Your thoughts?

    Well it's disturbing a bit. Seems to me that relationships is a mutual thing, between two people. She only refer to things she needs to do to please him. Besides, you don't do things because someone is your husband, you do things because you love him. This girl's marriage Looks very mechanic to me.

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      #3
      Re: Being a Godly Wife. Your thoughts?

      I agree with that. I was incredibly disturbed that she felt like she needed to support him because GOD wanted her to. Not because she loves him or wants to do nice things for him, but because it's what God wants...

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        #4
        Re: Being a Godly Wife. Your thoughts?

        It's like any other kind of marriage. If both partners agree to their roles and are committed, all is well. But what happens all too often is that one is far less committed. Then trust gets abused, etc.
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        Can you hear me, Major Tom? I think I love you.

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          #5
          Re: Being a Godly Wife. Your thoughts?

          1. I have problems with the way she said it, but the basic points that you should stay true to god and not bail on your relationship when you have other things to deal with is good stuff.

          2. I'm going to ignore this question for personal reasons.

          3. No. Just no. (also, a 100/100 split is um... Well, you know, math...) Seriously, this is the most backwards thing. I don't want my future wife to submit to me, I want her to just be herself. I don't want to dominate her.

          4. She has a good point, in that complaining about your significant other generally just doesn't work out. You're avoiding confronting your partner about about the problem, and shoving it off on your friends, leaving your partner oblivious to the issue. If you try to deal with a problem with them, and they refuse, then its time to go get advice, but using them as a punching bag? No. This is bad for everyone. However, she seems to see you shouldn't confront your partner either... Which is problematic.

          5. Yeah, that's good advice. Work hard, be nice, don't sit on your butt all day, make your family proud of you.

          6. I agree with this on a certain level? There are weird connotations around her words that wig me wrong, but if you apply this to husbands and wives both, its a fine thing; be nice to each other regardless of if your partner is at the moment. However, there is a point where you need to just stop, if your partner is taking advantage of your kindness.... And I am unsure if she thinks this door swings both ways.

          7. Yup. No complaints on this one.

          8. I hadn't really articulated before, but that's actually a nice way to think about that. Your partner is never going to be everything you wanted, but hopefully they are most of that. Keeping in mind the great things about a person you are in love with, that makes you love them, is so important when times are hard. It can be very tempting to stray when there is tragedy and things push a couple away from each other, but remembering that is important. Still, its not good to put up with things that are actually harmful. If your partner has annoying habits, that's one thing, if that 20% includes harming you or others, get the $#*& out. Run.

          9. If this door swings both ways, cool. That sounds great! A couple doing things for each other because they like each other is wunderbar. However as through this whole article, I wonder if she thinks it doesn't go both ways.... Especially because of the submission thing....

          10. Yeah. Do that. I certainly hope my future wife (who will ironically hopefully not be Christian :P) will pray for me, in her own way to her Gods. And I'll pray for her. Again, two way door.

          So..... she makes some good points, some queezy points, and some that I am not sure if they are good or bad because I don't know if she means for them to only apply to wives ever and husbands can skip that, and also has this attitude of, 'Marriage is clearly always meant to be,' and I'm not sure what she would think of someone in an abusive situation leaving their spouse, or that sort of thing... I have problems with it.

          ESPECIALLY with the recurring thee of submission. No. Bad article writer. Stop that this instant!
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            #6
            Re: Being a Godly Wife. Your thoughts?

            I agree completely. I think what worried me the most about it what how she was setting the roles for the people she was talking to instead of letting them do it.

            - - - Updated - - -

            Originally posted by Hawkfeathers View Post
            It's like any other kind of marriage. If both partners agree to their roles and are committed, all is well. But what happens all too often is that one is far less committed. Then trust gets abused, etc.
            Exactly, and I honestly wonder how her husband feels about the things she said. Is he out to please her like she's out to please him? I don't see good balance here.

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              #7
              Re: Being a Godly Wife. Your thoughts?

              Well, yeah, she's only looking through a Christian lens, and saying everyone else should. Don't like that.
              sigpic
              Can you hear me, Major Tom? I think I love you.

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                #8
                Re: Being a Godly Wife. Your thoughts?

                Originally posted by Malflick View Post
                1. I have problems with the way she said it, but the basic points that you should stay true to god and not bail on your relationship when you have other things to deal with is good stuff.

                2. I'm going to ignore this question for personal reasons.

                3. No. Just no. (also, a 100/100 split is um... Well, you know, math...) Seriously, this is the most backwards thing. I don't want my future wife to submit to me, I want her to just be herself. I don't want to dominate her.

                4. She has a good point, in that complaining about your significant other generally just doesn't work out. You're avoiding confronting your partner about about the problem, and shoving it off on your friends, leaving your partner oblivious to the issue. If you try to deal with a problem with them, and they refuse, then its time to go get advice, but using them as a punching bag? No. This is bad for everyone. However, she seems to see you shouldn't confront your partner either... Which is problematic.

                5. Yeah, that's good advice. Work hard, be nice, don't sit on your butt all day, make your family proud of you.

                6. I agree with this on a certain level? There are weird connotations around her words that wig me wrong, but if you apply this to husbands and wives both, its a fine thing; be nice to each other regardless of if your partner is at the moment. However, there is a point where you need to just stop, if your partner is taking advantage of your kindness.... And I am unsure if she thinks this door swings both ways.

                7. Yup. No complaints on this one.

                8. I hadn't really articulated before, but that's actually a nice way to think about that. Your partner is never going to be everything you wanted, but hopefully they are most of that. Keeping in mind the great things about a person you are in love with, that makes you love them, is so important when times are hard. It can be very tempting to stray when there is tragedy and things push a couple away from each other, but remembering that is important. Still, its not good to put up with things that are actually harmful. If your partner has annoying habits, that's one thing, if that 20% includes harming you or others, get the $#*& out. Run.

                9. If this door swings both ways, cool. That sounds great! A couple doing things for each other because they like each other is wunderbar. However as through this whole article, I wonder if she thinks it doesn't go both ways.... Especially because of the submission thing....

                10. Yeah. Do that. I certainly hope my future wife (who will ironically hopefully not be Christian :P) will pray for me, in her own way to her Gods. And I'll pray for her. Again, two way door.

                So..... she makes some good points, some queezy points, and some that I am not sure if they are good or bad because I don't know if she means for them to only apply to wives ever and husbands can skip that, and also has this attitude of, 'Marriage is clearly always meant to be,' and I'm not sure what she would think of someone in an abusive situation leaving their spouse, or that sort of thing... I have problems with it.

                ESPECIALLY with the recurring thee of submission. No. Bad article writer. Stop that this instant!
                First of all, I am VERY impressed with how much time you obviously took to do this! Thank you very much, because I'm glad to hear your opinion! I agree with a lot of your points, and you have succeeded in opening my eyes to the positive points in what she's saying. A big issue for me is how she seems to be saying that she should submit and that their relationship should exist through God, not because of any other reason. I'm sure she doesn't really feel that way, but she came across that way. I think there should be balance, and you should do what works for you, but there should be equality. Thank you for your input!!

                - - - Updated - - -

                Originally posted by Hawkfeathers View Post
                Well, yeah, she's only looking through a Christian lens, and saying everyone else should. Don't like that.
                Absolutely. She doesn't take into account that it's okay for people to arrange their relationships how it works for them. I would say the main problem with this article is how she expects everyone to be Christian and do things the way she does them.

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                  #9
                  Re: Being a Godly Wife. Your thoughts?

                  Up until point 9 and 10 it was fine. My husband and I are both fairly traditional when it comes to roles in the house so that's probably why the first 8 points (if you delete the "God's" and "His" and "He's" out of there) made some form of sense.

                  But 9... girls are so selfish? Really? If that were the case, why would I have put my own life, sanity, and career progression on hold for the past 3 years and taken a horrid job (which pays the bills) while supporting my husband's college education, volunteering, and career aspirations?

                  And 10... "Since marriage is so sacred to God, you know the enemy is going to be constantly trying to attack, which means our husband is constantly going to be battling spiritual warfare. " ........ What? Paranoia much?

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                    #10
                    Re: Being a Godly Wife. Your thoughts?

                    Just one thing......is there a corresponding piece, "Being A Godly Husband"?
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                    Can you hear me, Major Tom? I think I love you.

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                      #11
                      Re: Being a Godly Wife. Your thoughts?

                      Originally posted by Hawkfeathers View Post
                      Well, yeah, she's only looking through a Christian lens, and saying everyone else should. Don't like that.
                      Er, she is a Christian blogger, and while I think her post has a lot of anti-feminist BS in it, she did write this blog up about marriage counseling she did with a preacher. Her target audience for this was Christians she was talking to, so I think that's a bit unfair, any more than a blog post on Tardus Eruditorum would expect its audience to be Doctor Who fans who took a philosophy course.

                      Again, serious issues with her post. Really. I would not want to be in a relationship like the one she describes, it sounds scary and controlling. But the article is framed in a Christian viewpoint due to the nature of its creation.
                      hey look, I have a book! And look I have a second one too!

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                        #12
                        Re: Being a Godly Wife. Your thoughts?

                        Speaking for myself,I have always been attracted to strong women,that is both people in the relationship work to keep the relationship strong. That also means someone that can hold there own in bad times as well as good,and not where one person in the relationship does all the heavy lifting all the time. You both work toward keeping your relationship and in general your livelihood in a balanced state. If the man is out of work the wife would work to keep things together until the man finds work,also if one does not have to be home to take care of the kids(when they are older) then both working is smart in this economy to make ends meet. I see a relationship as a partnership,where both are strong for the other,and in bad times or good nether one has the full burden of keeping things together. A couple are a team,and that means sharing everything,and not leaving one with all the work. Balance seems the key factor.
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                          #13
                          Re: Being a Godly Wife. Your thoughts?

                          Being strong and independent cost me every man I loved. Just sayin'.But if the price of love is to hide myself, it be too high a price. Happiness doesn't require love; it merely desires it.
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                          Can you hear me, Major Tom? I think I love you.

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                            #14
                            Re: Being a Godly Wife. Your thoughts?

                            Originally posted by Poshi View Post
                            First of all, I am VERY impressed with how much time you obviously took to do this! Thank you very much, because I'm glad to hear your opinion! I agree with a lot of your points, and you have succeeded in opening my eyes to the positive points in what she's saying. A big issue for me is how she seems to be saying that she should submit and that their relationship should exist through God, not because of any other reason. I'm sure she doesn't really feel that way, but she came across that way. I think there should be balance, and you should do what works for you, but there should be equality. Thank you for your input!!

                            - - - Updated - - -

                            Absolutely. She doesn't take into account that it's okay for people to arrange their relationships how it works for them. I would say the main problem with this article is how she expects everyone to be Christian and do things the way she does them.
                            I'm glad you appreciate my effort ^_^. I'd go a step further and say that she probably truly does think that their relationship exists through god.

                            As I said, I'm avoiding that topic for reasons...

                            But yeah, equality is best. And her worldview is pretty skewed towards a really particular image of what is okay. I wouldn't want her relationship. Ever.
                            hey look, I have a book! And look I have a second one too!

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                              #15
                              Re: Being a Godly Wife. Your thoughts?

                              Originally posted by Malflick View Post
                              I'm glad you appreciate my effort ^_^. I'd go a step further and say that she probably truly does think that their relationship exists through god.
                              Agreed. I have the opinion that there are times when some people are fated to meet at a certain time, in a certain place of their lives. It doesn't necessarily mean it's a romantic meeting, but I believe it happens. I'm sure that thought has crossed the minds of other people as well.

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