So I was talking to my boyfriend last night about a few topics relating to my religion, and he had some really wonderful points that I wanted to share with you all. You were a huge help in getting me to find out how to be more open with him about spirituality, so your advice got me a long way. (For curious folk, that thread is here: http://www.paganforum.com/showthread...iccan-Religion).
Since my boyfriend is atheist, the primary thing that we talked about was Gods and Goddesses, and how my main issue right now with my practice is having a really tough time feeling like I'm able to identify my God and Goddess. While I know that having identities for them isn't mandatory and shouldn't be rushed, it's something that's really frustrating to me because it's important to me in my day-to-day life. I really want to feel like I have a more personal connection, and I'm admittedly getting a little frustrated that it's taking so long. I talked to my boyfriend about how I feel the presence of my God and Goddess, but have been having a really difficult time identifying them. I have felt for a while that the male presence I am feeling is Cernunnos, but I am not certain of that and I'm having an even harder time placing the Goddess who is reaching out to me. I mentioned to him the very smart comment that someone on here made (I apologize for not being able to give them credit!) about how it's possible that some people are feeling deities that might not have ever been worshiped before not and that's why they don't have a name to give. I thought that was incredibly interesting, and my boyfriend used that to build on. He explained it like this:
Each person is a filter. We see the world through our experiences and our paradigm. He and I have a good relationship. We're very close. I am surrounded by that, and have a grasp because of it on what a male presence feels like. However, in my life right now... I can't say that I have much confidence or trust myself, and it's something that I'm trying very hard to work on. But while I'm still shaky on my own two feet, my perception of female entities is just as shaky, because I don't have any outside positive female influence. I'm not tuned into that. Because I see things a certain way, I am blocking out some of the information I could be receiving simply because that's how my filter is set. I'm not allowing myself to be open and honest about what I feel and I don't have that level of trust with myself right now. I'm not in touch with that.
While I'm doing a really not-great job of explaining this to you, and he would do a much better job making it make sense, let me get ahead to my question. Does anyone else on here have issues making that connection and reaching that identification? If so, what are your theories on it? How are you dealing with it? I'm very curious!
Since my boyfriend is atheist, the primary thing that we talked about was Gods and Goddesses, and how my main issue right now with my practice is having a really tough time feeling like I'm able to identify my God and Goddess. While I know that having identities for them isn't mandatory and shouldn't be rushed, it's something that's really frustrating to me because it's important to me in my day-to-day life. I really want to feel like I have a more personal connection, and I'm admittedly getting a little frustrated that it's taking so long. I talked to my boyfriend about how I feel the presence of my God and Goddess, but have been having a really difficult time identifying them. I have felt for a while that the male presence I am feeling is Cernunnos, but I am not certain of that and I'm having an even harder time placing the Goddess who is reaching out to me. I mentioned to him the very smart comment that someone on here made (I apologize for not being able to give them credit!) about how it's possible that some people are feeling deities that might not have ever been worshiped before not and that's why they don't have a name to give. I thought that was incredibly interesting, and my boyfriend used that to build on. He explained it like this:
Each person is a filter. We see the world through our experiences and our paradigm. He and I have a good relationship. We're very close. I am surrounded by that, and have a grasp because of it on what a male presence feels like. However, in my life right now... I can't say that I have much confidence or trust myself, and it's something that I'm trying very hard to work on. But while I'm still shaky on my own two feet, my perception of female entities is just as shaky, because I don't have any outside positive female influence. I'm not tuned into that. Because I see things a certain way, I am blocking out some of the information I could be receiving simply because that's how my filter is set. I'm not allowing myself to be open and honest about what I feel and I don't have that level of trust with myself right now. I'm not in touch with that.
While I'm doing a really not-great job of explaining this to you, and he would do a much better job making it make sense, let me get ahead to my question. Does anyone else on here have issues making that connection and reaching that identification? If so, what are your theories on it? How are you dealing with it? I'm very curious!
thank you for sharing this!
Comment