Are any of you child-free?

[Hawkfeathers]

I mean, by choice, and as a lifetime decision?

[Medusa]

Re: Are any of you child-free?

Yeah, I am. I don't like the idea of having kids of my own to take care of. I do birthday party hosting at one of my jobs. So it's not like I'm not good with kids. In fact I'm very good with kids. I'm pretty keen on making sure they are safe and have fun and are left to do what they want (within reason). I just cannot afford them. Nor do I want to have to wake up before I have to.

[Hawkfeathers]

Re: Are any of you child-free?

I belong to a child-free forum that I like a lot. Some of the people hate kids, which is kinda sad to me, but there's lots of discussion about finding peopel to date who don't have grandkids, etc. It's not easy!!

[nymphetflower]

Re: Are any of you child-free?

with the divorce rate and dead beats (men and women), its hard to find someone without a child(ren). from experience, lots of ppl dont want a mate who already has them

[Ophidia]

Re: Are any of you child-free?

For many multiple reasons (some of them being that I don't like kids, poop, puke, snot or screaming), I and my husband are happily child-free by choice

[volcaniclastic]

Re: Are any of you child-free?

I am thus far child-free by choice. Perhaps I am still a bit young to input, but there it is.

I absolutely adore children. My niece and little brother are two of the best humans I know. I love babysitting, helping out at birthday parties, taking kids to the park to play. I don't love insolence, talking back, or any of the fluids that come out of any of their orifices. And I don't like the thought of a living creature coming out of me.

So...so far, I'm child free.

[anunitu]

Re: Are any of you child-free?

I do understand why some people don't want kids,I myself loved having kids but that is me. I would say if you don't think you would be a good parent,or find it hard to imagine having them,it is best you don't. Raising kids is HARD because when you have kids everything becomes about them and their needs. Your life becomes secondary to their safety and their learning how to become good people.

[Jembru]

Re: Are any of you child-free?

You know.. I too am child-free buy choice and until recently I had no idea there was a negative stigma attached to us. It was debated on breakfast TV, where they interviewed a woman with 6 kids, and a woman who chose to be childless. I was really shocked to learn that some people consider those who choose not to have kids as selfish. I mean, what? How is it any more or less selfish than any other life choice? I mean, sure, if I HAD kids, then chose not to bother with them, then I'd be selfish, but otherwise? I like to think I'm doing my little bit to keep down the population, so that those kids that people do choose to have, will have access to housing, employment and food when they grow up. If we all had 6 kids, imagine how horrific their future will be in such a vastly overpopulated world. That I've thought of the impact my breeding could have, surely isn't selfish?

[Ophidia]

Re: Are any of you child-free?

You know.. I too am child-free buy choice and until recently I had no idea there was a negative stigma attached to us. It was debated on breakfast TV, where they interviewed a woman with 6 kids, and a woman who chose to be childless. I was really shocked to learn that some people consider those who choose not to have kids as selfish. I mean, what? How is it any more or less selfish than any other life choice? I mean, sure, if I HAD kids, then chose not to bother with them, then I'd be selfish, but otherwise? I like to think I'm doing my little bit to keep down the population, so that those kids that people do choose to have, will have access to housing, employment and food when they grow up. If we all had 6 kids, imagine how horrific their future will be in such a vastly overpopulated world. That I've thought of the impact my breeding could have, surely isn't selfish?

I get the 'selfish' thing from my sisters & various friends. It roughly translates as 'I'm super-jealous that I have chosen to have children and you have not. What makes you so special that you don't have this responsibility in your life while so many others do?' Especially from my best friend, who chose to have 6 kids.

[Jembru]

Re: Are any of you child-free?

I get the 'selfish' thing from my sisters & various friends. It roughly translates as 'I'm super-jealous that I have chosen to have children and you have not. What makes you so special that you don't have this responsibility in your life while so many others do?' Especially from my best friend, who chose to have 6 kids.

I wondered that, but the woman with the 6 kids seemed very angry when it was suggested to her that she might be jealous. I don't know.. there are good sides to both. I am almost sure, for example, that JP will one day leave me for someone who can give him children, because while he claims he doesn't care if we never have kids, he likes the idea of being a dad and he's only 22. By the time JP leaves me, I'll probably be so far past my best that I'll be unlikely to find another partner. So while I will of course have more disposable income and free time than parents, and be able to swan off to foreign lands, go to late night shows and lie-in on days off, I'll be doing these things alone.

I also won't get to experience all those firsts.. first tooth, first step, first word, first day of school, first asbo... So yeah, while it IS awesome having the freedom to do what I like, I think there are disadvantages to this lifestyle too (and I have stretchmarks anyway from so much excessive dieting). My choice is mostly that I just simply don't have maternal instincts and I don't really feel mature enough to handle parenthood. So really, if I DID have kids just to give in to pressure from society, knowing fine well I can't give them what they need, then surely that would be selfish.

[DanieMarie]

Re: Are any of you child-free?

I am for now, but not forever. I do want kids...just later.

I understand the lifestyle choice though. I only decided I wanted kids about a year or so ago. Before that I was on the fence for a year or so, and before that was set against it. It's not for everyone. Children are a huge commitment, and cost a lot of money. Even those things aside, I think there are plenty of people who simply aren't interested in nappies and crayons.


I hate the "selfish" stigma as well. I don't really get it personally, because I'm only childless because we're not ready yet, but I see it a lot with other people. What I think is selfish is having kids when you aren't really ready, just because you want them and you don't want to wait. I used to post on another forum and there was a girl there who got emancipated and married in her teens (16 I think) and was trying to get pregnant. She was 18 at the time. She didn't have a stable life situation (she was trying to be a model and actress in LA), and her husband made minimum wage. I get that some people never make it past that, but I think in that situation it's better to wait and see if you can get a bit more stable before you make that kind of commitment. Especially since she wanted to be a stay-at-home mom. It's like, you think you can support a whole family off a single minimum wage income? Learn more about reality, THEN have kids. Otherwise, you're doing it because of YOU and not because of the life you can give them.

[ChainLightning]

Re: Are any of you child-free?

47 and child-free.


Well, I did pick up 4 kids through marriage (2 adults and 2 late teens) but ever since the marriage dissolved, it's kind of up in the air... I never adopted them.


And it is not by choice. I've wanted kids my whole adult life. Now, though, it's not a good idea with my disability. No bread-winning at this table. SSI isn't enough for ME to live on, let alone raise kids on.

[RainbowDemonic]

Re: Are any of you child-free?

Child-free by choice. Kids are great and I'm great with kids, but I have never, ever been interested in raising my own. I've just never felt the urge to bear children. I prefer to be hospitable, caring and nurturing to people around me in general. A woman doesn't have to physically conceive and give birth to a child in order to be a nurturing and caring woman, to be the best she can be. Besides, doctors have said that I am medically very unlikely to bear children (childbearing issues and infertility run in my family; my aunt for example had to struggle for years and years just to have a single child, and it was similarly difficult for my sister - so this did not come as a surprise). And that's okay with me.

[Hawkfeathers]

Re: Are any of you child-free?

I knew by my teens that the "Mommy" scene wasn't going to be for me. I was always told I'd change my mind. Nope.
Lots of people get hit with the "selfish" angle - I find that weird too. And even later in life it's hard to date and stay away from it, because now they have grandchildren!!!

[Satu]

Re: Are any of you child-free?

Child-free for life for various reasons, some of them religious (I'm a celibate. Lol.)

I've known since I was ten years old, so almost for fifteen years now. People keep saying, "oh, you'll change your mind." Um, no.

I'd be a horrible parent anyway because I don't like kids and have NO idea what to do with them, how to talk to them, etc. Didn't even know what to do about kids when I was a kid m'self.