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Thread: Pagan Humor

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    sea witch thalassa's Avatar
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    Pagan Humor

    the following was originally posted by Gwen, pre-crash cache:

    Charge of the Error Goddess
    *See below for attribution
    Listen to the words of the Missing Page. I who of old was also called among men 404, Error, Broken Link, screw up, bad page, missing file, "Damn it, where the hell did it go?" and by many other names. At mine altars the youth of various college computer departments across the world made due sacrifice.

    Whenever ye shall work on a particular web site, once in the month, and better it be when the Moon is Full and while drinking beverages rich in caffiene, then shall ye gather around the computer and run a link checker to ensure that I will never trouble thee. I, who am the ruler of all neglected web sites and poorly coded home pages. There shall ye gather, ye who are fain to master the test of navigation, yet have not yet won its deepest secrets: to these I will hide as they find that which is broken and code thy site until it is whole again.

    And your site shall be free from errors; and as a sign that they be really free, ye shall never, ever use animated background; and ye shall code, ftp, edit, create and write, all to stave off my curse. For mine is the sign of uncaring hands, and mine also is joy of trial and error, for my law is the error.

    Keep pure your code, strive ever towards cross-platform compatibility, and let naught stop you or turn you aside. For mine is the password protected door which opens upon the secret mysteries via the .htaccess file as well as the errors of missing pages and overloaded servers, and the no DNS entry error, which is the sign of web site Armageddon.

    * "Charge of the Error Goddess" is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-Share Alike 3.0 United States License. Copyright Jen Lepp and released to be used under the stated conditions.
    “You have never answered but you did not need to. If I stand at the ocean I can hear you with your thousand voices. Sometimes you shout, hilarious laughter that taunts all questions. Other nights you are silent as death, a mirror in which the stars show themselves. Then I think you want to tell me something, but you never do. Of course I know I have written letters to no-one. But what if I find a trident tomorrow?" ~~Letters to Poseidon, Cees Nooteboom

    “We still carry this primal relationship to the Earth within our consciousness, even if we have long forgotten it. It is a primal recognition of the wonder, beauty, and divine nature of the Earth. It is a felt reverence for all that exists. Once we bring this foundational quality into our consciousness, we will be able to respond to our present man-made crisis from a place of balance, in which our actions will be grounded in an attitude of respect for all of life. This is the nature of real sustainability.”
    ~~Llewellyn Vaughan-Lee

    "We are the offspring of history, and must establish our own paths in this most diverse and interesting of conceivable universes--one indifferent to our suffering, and therefore offering us maximal freedom to thrive, or to fail, in our own chosen way."
    ~~Stephen Jay Gould, Wonderful Life: The Burgess Shale and the Nature of History

    "Humans are not rational creatures. Now, logic and rationality are very helpful tools, but there’s also a place for embracing our subjectivity and thinking symbolically. Sometimes what our so-called higher thinking can’t or won’t see, our older, more primitive intuition will." John Beckett

    Pagan Devotionals, because the wind and the rain is our Bible

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    sea witch thalassa's Avatar
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    Re: Pagan Humor

    (pre-crash cache posted by fireymander)

    Pagan Lightbulb Jokes

    Q: How many Dianic Wiccans does it take to screw in a light bulb?
    A: Just one, and it's NOT FUNNY!!!

    Q: How many Dianics does it take to change a light bulb?
    A: (any large number here) -- One to change the light bulb, one to prepare the environmental impact statement, and the rest to do a self-criticism afterwards...

    Q:How many years does it take a Dianic Wiccan to change a light bulb?
    A: You can change it whenever you are empowered to do so.

    Q: How many years does it take a Dianic Wiccan to change a light bulb?
    A: Not sure.....we'll call Z. Budapest and get back to you!

    Q:How many Druids does it take to change a light bulb?
    A: They don't screw in light bulbs, they screw in Stone Circles.

    Q: How many Druids does it take to change a light bulb?
    A: Thirteen! One to hold the bulb and 12 to drink enough to make the room spin.

    Q: How many years does it take a Druid to change a light bulb?
    A: 21, unless you're Irish.

    Q: How many Isians does it take to change a light bulb?
    A: Three. One to change the light bulb, one to handle publicity, and one to write the newsletter.

    Q: How many Family traditionalists does it take to change a light bulb?
    A: Candle light was good enough for our ancestors, it's good enough for us!

    Q: How many Brit.Trad WItches does it take to change a light bulb?
    A: Thirteen. One to change the bulb, and 12 to mourn the passing of the old bulb.

    Q: How many Gardnerian witches does it take to change a light bulb?
    A: It's a third degree secret.

    Q: How many years does it take a Gardnerian witch to change a light bulb?
    A: A year and A day in an Outer Grove, a year and a day at first level, a year and a day at second level, but only third levels change light bulbs.

    Q: How many Alexandrian witches does it take to change a light bulb?
    A: "Lets go see how the Gardnerians do it!"

    Q: How many years does it take an Alexandrian Witch to change a light bulb?
    A: That's the Maiden's Job. Maiden - Make it so.

    Q: How many Starhawk Witches does it take to change a light bulb?
    A: (plaintively) "There are starving villages in Africa that don't even HAVE light bulbs..."

    Q: How many years does it take a Starhawk Witch to change a light bulb?
    A: Well, it depends how hard you study, but you can do it now if you are solitary.

    Q: How many solitary Witches does it take to change a light bulb?
    A: (if they actually ask 'how many?', drum your fingers and stare at them as you wait for them to grasp the obvious)

    Q: How many years does it take for a solitary Witch to change a light bulb?
    A: How long does it take to get one out of the closet?

    Q: How many years does it take a Kitchen Witch to change a light bulb?
    A: Its already been changed.

    Q: How many years does it take a White Light Wiccan to change a light bulb?
    A: Look deep within and find your true essence. That will tell you how long it will take.

    Q: How many Frost "School of Wicca" Witches does it take to change a light bulb?
    A: "Just you! That's right, YOU! And for only $195 we'll send you our complete "Witches Magic Power of Light Bulb Changing Course" with real knowledge that you can apply this to ANY light bulb ANYWHERE! Listen to the testimony of a young couple from Wisconsin who..."

    Q: How many Erisians does it take to change a light bulb?
    A: "How many of them are there?"

    Q: How many Wiccans does it take to screw in a light bulb?
    A: Four. One for each quarter.

    Q: How many Proteans does it take to change a light bulb?
    A: I can't tell you--they never change a light bulb the same way twice!

    Q: How many Proteans does it take to screw in a light bulb?
    A: How many will fit?

    Q: How many Buckland Witches does it take to change a light bulb?
    A: "Refer to my second book, "Practical Light Bulb Changing" by Raymond Buckland..."

    Q: How many Pagans does it take to change a light bulb?
    A: Six. One to change it, and five to sit around complaining that light bulbs never burned out before those damned Christians came along.

    Q: How many Thelemites does it take....
    A: None, Every One of them is a Star.

    Q: How many Witches does it take to change a light bulb?
    A: What do you want it changed into?

    Q: How many Witches does it take to screw in a light bulb?
    A: None, they do it in great rites.

    Q: How many Golden Dawners does it take to change a light bulb?
    A: One to hold the ladder, one to hold the bulb, three to decipher the Light Bulb Ritual from the Secret Chiefs, one to publish it, and one to sue all the others.

    Q: How many NRDers does it take to change a light bulb?
    A: 14. One to do it, one to write poetry about it, and 12 to hold a Council and decide whether or not the poem's authentic.

    Q: How many Sex magicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?
    A: They don't screw in light bulbs, they screw on the altar!

    Q: How many Tantrics does it take to change a light bulb?
    A: 2 as long as the lamp is by the bed...

    Q: How many Ceremonial magicians does it take to change a light bulb?
    A: One. They hold it up, and the world revolves around them.

    Q: How many Kabbalists does it take to change a light bulb?
    A: 261.

    Q: How many Aries does it take to change a light bulb?
    A: Only one, but it takes a hell of a lot of light bulbs.

    Q: How many Taurus does it take to change a light bulb?
    A: What, me move?

    Q: How many Gemini does it take to change a light bulb?
    A: 2

    Q: How many Cancer does it take to change a light bulb?
    A: Only one, but he has to bring his mother.

    Q: How many Leos does it take to change a light bulb?
    A: A dozen. One to change the bulb, and eleven to applaud.

    Q: How many Virgos does it take to change a light bulb?
    A: One to clean out the socket, one to dust the bulb, one to install, and two engineers to check the work.

    Q: How many Libras does it take to change a light bulb?
    A: Libras can't decide if the bulb needs to be changed.

    Q: How many Scorpios does it take to change a light bulb?
    A: None. They LIKE the dark.

    Q: How many Sagittarians does it take to change a light bulb?
    A: One to install the bulb, and a Virgo to pick up the pieces.

    Q: How many Capricorns does it take to change a light bulb?
    A: The light's fine as it is.

    Q: How many Aquarians does it take to change a light bulb?
    A: Have you asked the bulb if it WANTS to be changed?

    Q: How many Pisceans does it take to change a light bulb?
    A: What light bulb?

    Q: How many astrologers does it take to change a light bulb?
    A: "Don't ask me now, Mercury's retrograde!"

    Q: How many New Agers does it take to change a light bulb?
    A: Five. One to change it and four to share the experience!

    Q: How many New Agers does it take to change a light bulb?
    A: (in a flaky voice) We don't use light bulbs, we just think happy thoughts at our quartz crystals and they glow.

    Q: How many years does it take for a New-ager to change a light bulb?
    A: Well, it takes many many years, unless you pay $650 US non refundable, Visa or MC accepted. Then you can do it after the weekend intensive training seminar.

    Q: How many Boulderites (as in Boulder, CO, mecca of new agers) does it take to change a light bulb?
    A: None. They just join self-help groups to learn to live with darkness in their lives.

    Q: How many Odinists does it take to change a light bulb?
    A: 21, one to hold the light bulb, 20 to drink till the world spins

    Q. How many toads does it take to change a lightbulb?
    A. One, if you can remember which one used to be the electrician.

    Q. How many Sex magicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?
    A. Only two, but they have to be very small!

    Q. How many Ceremonial magicians does it take to change a light bulb?
    A. One. They hold it up, and the world revolves around them.

    Q. How many Frost "School of Wicca" witches does it take to change a light bulb?
    A. Just you! That's right, YOU! And for only $195 we'll send you our complete "Witches Magic Power of Light Bulb Changing Course" with real knowledge that you can apply this to ANY light bulb ANYwhere! Listen to the testimony of a young couple from Wisconsin who..."

    Q. How many Discordians does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
    A. A blue fish Tueday.

    Q. How many Erisians does it take to change a light bulb?
    A. "How many have we got?"

    Q. How many Discordians does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
    A. 2-One to hold a ladder and one to fill the bathtub with brightly colored east german machine tools.(this one also works with any variation on How many surreliests..)

    Q. How many Wiccans does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
    A. Four. One for each direction.

    Q. How many members of IOT does it take to screw in a lighbulb?
    A. Sorry, that ritual is copyrighted.

    Q. How many Proteans does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
    A. How many will fit?

    Q. How many Asatruars does it take to change a lightbulb?
    A. None. The light from the burning monastery is sufficient, thank you.

    Q. How many Seax Wicca witches does it take to change a light bulb?
    A. "Refer to my second book, "Practical Light Bulb Changing" by Raymond Buckland..."

    Q. How many Pagans does it take to change a lightbulb?
    A. Six. One to change it, and five to sit around complaining that lightbulbs never burned out before those damned Christains came along.

    Q. How many TechnoPagans does it take to screw in a light bulb?
    A. If the computer is still working, who cares about the light bulb.

    Q. How many solitary witches does it take to change a light bulb?
    A. (If they actually ask 'how many?', drum your fingers and stare at them as you wait for them to grasp the obvious)

    Q. How many years does it take a Kitchen Witch to change a light bulb?
    A. Already changed.

    Q. How many lesbian feminist Dianic Wiccans does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
    A. Just one, and it's NOT FUNNY!!!

    Q. How many Dianics does it take to change a light bulb?
    A. (Any large number here) -- One to change the light bulb, one to prepare the environmental impact statement, and the rest to do a self-criticism afterwords...

    Q. How many Isians does it take to change a light bulb?
    A. Three. One to change the lightbulb, one to handle publicity, and one to write the newsletter.

    Q. How many Family traditionalists does it take to change a light bulb?
    A. Candle light was good enough for grandma, it's good enough for me!

    Q. How many Brit Trad WItches does it take to change a light bulb?
    A. 13. One to change the bulb, and 12 to mourn the passing of the old bulb.

    Q. How many Gardnerian witches does it take to change a light bulb?
    A. (In a low ominous tone) "Why do you want to know...Initiate?"

    Q. How many Gardnerian witches does it take to change a light bulb?
    A. It's a third degree secret.

    Q. How many years does it take a Gardnerian witch to change a light bulb?
    A. A year and A day in an Outer Grove, a year and a day at first level, a year and a day at second level, but only third levels change light bulbs.

    Q. How may light bulbs does it take to change a Gardnerian?
    A. None, they can do it all by themselves, thank you very much!!

    Q. How many Alexandrian witches does it take to change a light bulb?
    A. "Lets go see how the Gardnerians do it!"

    Q. How many years does it take an Alexandrian witch to change a light bulb?
    A. That's the Maiden's Job. Maiden - Make it so.

    Q. How many Alexandrians does it take to change a light bulb?
    A. Thirteen; a High Priestess to change the bulb, and 12 coven members to hold her up under all that jewelry!

    Q. How many Thelemites does it take to change a light bulb?
    A. None; real Thelemites aren't afraid of the dark!

    Q. How many Druids does it take to change a light bulb?
    A. Six; one to change the bulb, one to write a song about how much better the old bulb was, and four to write conflicting parodies of the second Druid's song.

    Q. How many shamans does it take to change a light bulb?
    A. None; they shapeshift into a cat or a bat, and can see in the dark.

    Q. How many mail list subscribers does it take to change a light bulb?
    A. 1,331 1 to change the light bulb and to post to the mail list that the light bulb has been changed;
    14 to share similar experiences of changing light bulbs and how the light bulb could have been changed differently;
    7 to caution about the dangers of changing light bulbs;
    27 to point out spelling/grammar errors in posts about changing light bulbs;
    53 to flame the spell checkers;
    41 to correct spelling in the spelling/grammar flames;
    156 to write to the list administrator complaining about the light bulb, discussion and its inappropriateness to this mail list;
    109 to post that this list is not about light bulbs and to please take this email exchange to another list ;
    203 to demand that cross posting to other lists about changing light bulbs be stopped;
    111 to defend the posting to this list saying that we all use light bulbs and therefore the posts *are* relevant to this mail list ;
    3 to post about links they found from the URLs that are relevant to this list which makes light bulbs relevant to this list;
    306 to debate which method of changing light bulbs is superior, where to buy the best light bulbs, what brand of light bulbs work best for this technique, and what brands are faulty;
    27 to post URLs where one can see examples of different light bulbs;
    14 to post that the URLs were posted incorrectly, and to post corrected URLs ;
    33 to concatenate all posts to date, then quote them including all headers and footers, and then add "Me Too."
    12 to post to the list that they are unsubscribing because they cannot handle the light bulb controversey;
    19 to quote the "Me Too's" to say, "Me Three."
    4 to suggest that posters request the light bulb FAQ
    48 to propose new change.lite.bulb newsgroup
    47 to say there is already an alt.light.bulb newsgroup
    143 to ask if anyone ever did change the lightbulb
    “You have never answered but you did not need to. If I stand at the ocean I can hear you with your thousand voices. Sometimes you shout, hilarious laughter that taunts all questions. Other nights you are silent as death, a mirror in which the stars show themselves. Then I think you want to tell me something, but you never do. Of course I know I have written letters to no-one. But what if I find a trident tomorrow?" ~~Letters to Poseidon, Cees Nooteboom

    “We still carry this primal relationship to the Earth within our consciousness, even if we have long forgotten it. It is a primal recognition of the wonder, beauty, and divine nature of the Earth. It is a felt reverence for all that exists. Once we bring this foundational quality into our consciousness, we will be able to respond to our present man-made crisis from a place of balance, in which our actions will be grounded in an attitude of respect for all of life. This is the nature of real sustainability.”
    ~~Llewellyn Vaughan-Lee

    "We are the offspring of history, and must establish our own paths in this most diverse and interesting of conceivable universes--one indifferent to our suffering, and therefore offering us maximal freedom to thrive, or to fail, in our own chosen way."
    ~~Stephen Jay Gould, Wonderful Life: The Burgess Shale and the Nature of History

    "Humans are not rational creatures. Now, logic and rationality are very helpful tools, but there’s also a place for embracing our subjectivity and thinking symbolically. Sometimes what our so-called higher thinking can’t or won’t see, our older, more primitive intuition will." John Beckett

    Pagan Devotionals, because the wind and the rain is our Bible

  3. #3
    The Gaze of the Abyss B. de Corbin's Avatar
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    Re: Pagan Humor

    Q. How many Alchemists does it take to change a lightbulb?

    A. One to perform the Magnum Opus, one hundred thousand to try to figure out how to do it again based on the instructions left by that first guy.
    Those who have suffered understand suffering and therefore extend their hand.

    I can't do everything, but I can do something.

  4. #4
    Sr. Member PharaohKatt's Avatar
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    Re: Pagan Humor

    Hee, this is fun ^_^


    The Top 10 Ways To Annoy A Pagan

    Author Unknown

    10. Sayyyyyyy, is that a Jewish star?

    9. No, then you must listen to Motley Crue, right? Not that, either? I know, it's a ... a ... Pentacost, right?

    8. You guys really worship the devil, huh? Cool, I, like, listen to Black Sabbath, like, all the time, dude.

    7. Oh, you're a Witch! I'm like, totally into, like, Goddess Consciousness. I sleep with a crystal every night, and have an Atlantean spirit guide. Will you teach me all the secrets of your religion?

    6. I hear you Pagans do all your stuff in the nude. Wanna show me?

    5. You will all burn in Hell. The Goddess is really Satan in drag. You don't believe in Satan? Boy, does he have you fooled!

    4. Fascinating. I'm a sociologist; may I study you as a phenomena?

    3. Do you really believe in all that nonsense?

    2. You worship the Goddess? Poor thing; you obviously haven't heard about Jesus. Here, let me tell you...

    And (drum roll, please):

    1. You're a witch, huh? Well, I'm initated at a higher level than you. I was initated at the age of seven by my grandmother, who was the last of the Atlantean Trad Elvish Ninja Masters. I don't suppose YOU have any lineage.

  5. #5
    sea witch thalassa's Avatar
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    Re: Pagan Humor

    What's the difference between New Age and Pagan?

    About $500.00 a weekend.




    A skeptic goes in to see a fortune teller.
    "You are the father of 2 children," the fortune teller says.
    "That's what you think! I'm the father of 3 children!," says the man.
    "That's what you think," says the fortune teller.




    “You have never answered but you did not need to. If I stand at the ocean I can hear you with your thousand voices. Sometimes you shout, hilarious laughter that taunts all questions. Other nights you are silent as death, a mirror in which the stars show themselves. Then I think you want to tell me something, but you never do. Of course I know I have written letters to no-one. But what if I find a trident tomorrow?" ~~Letters to Poseidon, Cees Nooteboom

    “We still carry this primal relationship to the Earth within our consciousness, even if we have long forgotten it. It is a primal recognition of the wonder, beauty, and divine nature of the Earth. It is a felt reverence for all that exists. Once we bring this foundational quality into our consciousness, we will be able to respond to our present man-made crisis from a place of balance, in which our actions will be grounded in an attitude of respect for all of life. This is the nature of real sustainability.”
    ~~Llewellyn Vaughan-Lee

    "We are the offspring of history, and must establish our own paths in this most diverse and interesting of conceivable universes--one indifferent to our suffering, and therefore offering us maximal freedom to thrive, or to fail, in our own chosen way."
    ~~Stephen Jay Gould, Wonderful Life: The Burgess Shale and the Nature of History

    "Humans are not rational creatures. Now, logic and rationality are very helpful tools, but there’s also a place for embracing our subjectivity and thinking symbolically. Sometimes what our so-called higher thinking can’t or won’t see, our older, more primitive intuition will." John Beckett

    Pagan Devotionals, because the wind and the rain is our Bible

  6. #6
    Newbie CabbageTheif's Avatar
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    Re: Pagan Humor

    how many alchemists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
    the lightbulb is simply a symbol of the spirit. you will screw in the lightbulb when you screw inb the lightbulb of your soul

  7. #7
    Bronze Member magusphredde's Avatar
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    Re: Pagan Humor

    Charge of the Coffee Godess

    Listen to the words of the Great Mother, She who of old was called among men Savarin, Nescafe, Folgers Crystals and so many other names...

    Whenever ye have need of wakefulness, at least once in the day, and better it be when the sun is rising, then ye shall assemble in your kitchens and adore the essence of Me who am Queen of all Beverages. There ye shall assemble, ye who are fain to gain awakening, yet have not won open eyes, to these I will teach things that are yet unknown.

    And ye shall be free from coherence; and as a sign that ye be truly free, ye shall be yawning in your rites; and ye shall read the morning paper, make bacon and eggs, and drive to work, all in My praise. For Mine is the ecstasy of the awakened, and Mine also is joy on earth; for My law is sleeplessness unto all beings.

    Keep clean your mug; let naught float upon its surface and so turn your stomach. For Mine is the secret door which opens upon the land of coherence, and Mine is the cup of the Elixir of Life, and the Cauldron of Caffeine, which is the Holy Grail of Insomnia. I am the Gracious Goddess, who gives the gift of wakefulness unto the mind of man.

    Upon awakening, I give the knowledge of the caffeine high eternal, and beyond morning, I give peace, and warmth, and tolerance of those with whom ye must interact. Nor do I demand aught of Saccharin; for Behold! I am the Mother of all Stimulants, and My love is poured out into your mug.
    I won't be wronged. I won't be insulted. I won't be laid a-hand on. I don't do these things to other people, and I require the same from them ... John Bernard Books


    Indian Chief 'Two Eagles' was asked by a white government official; "You have observed the white man for 90 years. You've seen his wars and his technological advances. You've seen his progress, and the damage he's done."

    The Chief nodded in agreement.

    The official continued; "Considering all these events, in your opinion, where did the white man go wrong?"

    The Chief stared at the government official for over a minute and then calmly replied.. "When white man find land, Indians running it, no taxes, no debt, plenty buffalo, plenty beaver, clean water. Women did all the work, Medicine Man free. Indian man spend all day hunting and fishing; all night having sex."

    Then the chief leaned back and smiled; "Only white man dumb enough to think he could improve system like that."




  8. #8
    Sr. Member PharaohKatt's Avatar
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    Re: Pagan Humor

    magusjinx:
    Very much win there! Love it ^_^

  9. #9
    Cannibal Rights Activist Ophidia's Avatar
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    Re: Pagan Humor

    So one day, Buddha goes to a hotdog vendor & asks for a hotdog. The vendor asks, "how do you want that?"
    Buddha replies, "make me one with everything".
    The vendor says, "that'll be $1.25", Buddha hands him a $20.
    After waiting patiently for a few moments, Buddha asks, "Where's my change?"
    The vendor replies, "Change must come from within!"


    Not exactly Pagan, buuutt, still funny:

    An atheist was walking through the woods one day when suddenly an 8-foot grizzly bear began to charge towards him. He ran as fast as he could down the path. He looked over his shoulder and saw that the bear was rapidly closing on him. Somehow, he ran even faster, so scared that tears came to his eyes. His heart pounding in his chest, he tried to run faster yet. But alas, he tripped and fell to the ground. As he rolled over to pick himself up, the bear was right over him, reaching for him with its left paw and raising its right paw to strike him.

    "OH MY GOD! ..." the atheist screamed. Time stopped... The bear froze ... The forest was silent... Even the river stopped moving ... As a brilliant light shone upon the man, a thunderous voice came from all around, 'You Deny My Existence For All These Years, Teach Others That I Don't Exist; And Even Credit Creation To Some Cosmic Accident. Do You Expect Me To Help You Out Of This Predicament? Am I To Count You As A Believer???'

    Difficult as it was, the atheist looked directly into the light and said, 'It would be hypocritical to ask to be a Christian after all these years, but perhaps you could make the bear a Christian?' 'Very Well.' said The Voice. The light went out.... The river ran.... The sounds of the forest resumed and the bear dropped down on his knees, brought both paws together, bowed his head and spoke: 'Lord, thank you for this food which I am about to receive.'
    The forum member formerly known as perzephone. Or Perze. I've shed a skin.

  10. #10
    Kick Ass Little Crow Corvus's Avatar
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    Words of power never disappear. They sleep, awaiting those with the will to rouse them

    Re: Pagan Humor

    You might be a red neck pagan.....

    If you think fetch deer is a command you give yer dawg....
    If you think a goblet is a young turkey....
    If you think Drawing Down the Moon means demolishing the outhouse....
    If you call your coven mates "Bud" and "Sis"....
    If you think a Great Rite is turning onto County Road 13....
    If your Quarter candles smell like kerosene....
    If you pronounce "Athame" as "Athaym" and "Samhain" as "Sammon" or Sam-hayn"....
    If you think a "Sidhe" is a girl....
    If your idea of the "Goddess" is the Coors Swedish Bikini Ski Team....
    If your Bard plays the banjo....
    If your 'Long Lost Friend really IS....
    If your lawn is decorated with at least one, preferably two or more, plastic pink flamingos, whom you regard as your familiars....
    If your Wand of Power is a cattle prod....
    If your ceremonial belt has your name on the back and a belt buckle bigger than your head....
    If you call the Quarters by invoking "Billy, Joe, Jim and Bob"....
    If you call the Gods by hollerin' "Hey y'all, watch me!"....
    If your favorite robe has the logo of a manufacturer of major farm equipment on the back....
    If you've ever harvested ritual herbs with a weed wacker....
    If your ritual staff is a double barrel shotgun....
    If your ritual garments include any one of the following: plaid flannels, long johns, a pistol belt.
    If you've ever blessed chewing tobacco or snuff....
    If your ritual wine is Maddog 20/20, Night Train or White Lady 21....
    If the instructions to get to your Covenstead include the words "After you turn off the paved road"....
    If your altar-cloth is a rebel flag....
    If you use junk cars to mark the four corners of your circle....
    If your Eternal Flame just happens to be under a still....
    If you use an engine block for an altar....
    If your High Priestess is your cousin -as well as your wife....
    If, when drawing down the moon, you say, "Ya'll come on down, ya hear?"....
    If your pickup truck has an Athame rack....
    If your crystal ball is made of polystyrene (i.e., a bowling ball)....
    If your High Priestess has a spittoon on her altar....
    You might be a Redneck Pagan!
    世の中に潜み落下した「アレ」はねえか? 誰が書き換える 世界の汚れは?
    Do you have 'that' which lies dormant within society? Who can overwrite it, the filth in the world?


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